Story Parents found out I bought a gay romance and now I have to cut off my family

[UnnervedCompany]

What happened is that I bought a gay romance book and my parents are extremely homophobic and conservative. My sister went through my stuff researched the book and told my mom about it. My mom threatened me with a million things and I can't stay home probably anymore after the winter break. I can't let them kick me out of the house so I have to find people to live with. I have the option of cbt and be done with everything but now I feel challenged by this failure of a family. I can't cbt and let them win. My life just got a million times harder but at least this pain and hatred doesn't make me suicidal anymore.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

I would try to find out if there are any refuges/financial help for people like yourself. You'd think in 2024 there must be surely.

 

[UnnervedCompany]

I would try to find out if there are any refuges/financial help for people like yourself. You'd think in 2024 there must be surely.

What I am doing is talking to my friends and seeing if any can offer me a place to stay when I am not in residence. I have not been kicked out yet so I am trying to find something cause I know I can't stay there forever. Thanks for the advice though.

 

[LostLily]

Sorry you are going through that . Hopefully, you can a friend who would allow you to stay with them.

When my mom caught me reading a gay books she yelled at me and said it was making me confuse.

 

[maniac116]

That so unsupportive & biased.
I hope that one of your friends comes thru with a place to stay. Nobody deserves hate!

 

[Worndown]

This may sound harsh, but it could be a blessing. If the mere possession of a book can bring on this reaction, the sooner you break free the better. Yes, it will be difficult but as you said, you cannot let them win.
You can get through this and have a good life.

 

[Rev346]

Make sure you get your social security card (if in the U.S.) and remove parents from any bank accounts. If they are pretty enough to kick you out for a romance novel then they could hijack your financial info and then "rescue" you afterwards by taking you back in and "praying the gay away".

 

[boblong]

Or you can pretend to be cooperative and "change" while being gay behind closed doors. I mean... a stable roof and meal is difficult to find these days, and you're definitely not equipped with neither funds nor street smarts to go outside. I know my suggestion is not the one you want to hear, but it's the most realistic choice right now.

USA election - a note from staff

LBGTQ Crisis Line Reports Nearly 200% Increase in Election-Related Calls From Queer and Trans Youth Staff understand that the election results have caused a lot of fear in people, and understand the valid...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[L'absent]

I hope it doesn't happen in the United States. In 2024 it's absurd, such a mentality cannot resist. It is completely anachronistic. I hope your parents understand their very serious mistake and understand that their reaction is suitable for a historical film and not for today's times. Are you a boy or a girl?

I would try to find out if there are any refuges/financial help for people like yourself. You'd think in 2024 there must be surely.

But what advice is that? If the parents have gone mad they must be hospitalized urgently, because they have very serious mental problems, and it is clear from what is written by the user. It's not the victim of madness who needs to go. I don't know what country it is, but there are laws and interventions in every Western state and even beyond the West. The user is completely right and no one can question his feelings. It's abhorrent to hear about shelters for these things.

 

[needthebus]

Or you can pretend to be cooperative and "change" while being gay behind closed doors. I mean... a stable roof and meal is difficult to find these days, and you're definitely not equipped with neither funds nor street smarts to go outside. I know my suggestion is not the one you want to hear, but it's the most realistic choice right now.

USA election - a note from staff

LBGTQ Crisis Line Reports Nearly 200% Increase in Election-Related Calls From Queer and Trans Youth Staff understand that the election results have caused a lot of fear in people, and understand the valid...

sanctioned-suicide.net

i agree with this post

your parents are toxic but the way society is structured, kids without supportive parents are often doomed

here's what you should ask yourself: do I have 5000 in emergency savings?

if the answer is no, don't burn the bridge.

it is ethical to lie to scum like that, so many LGBT people wind up homeless, you tell them you didn't know what the book was about, you say you got angry before because you felt ashamed, and you tell them you threw it away. You then move to the friend's later and say it's not about the fight.

this way, if things dont work out with the move, you can go back.

Swallow your pride now, when you have your own apartment that you own (even with a loan) and a job, you can tell them to eat shit.

sorry your family sucks and i hope your chosen family are nicer

 

[Worndown]

If your family is that freaked out and persecuting over a single book, going back might never be an option. You are their child, but only on their tems.

I have seen this problem before, here. I wonder what percentage of people on SS are here because of family?

 

[EternalShore]

geez. What the heck! It's just a book~ It's not close to meaning you're actually gay or anything if that's what they're worried about~ plus, it could definitely be accidental too~ I accidentally brought a GL book home from the library one time, and I hate GL! >_<
Regardless, I hope your situation ends up alright! >_< It just sounds so ridiculous and absurd to me! >_<

 

[GlassMoon]

I have the option of cbt and be done with everything but now I feel challenged by this failure of a family. I can't cbt and let them win. My life just got a million times harder but at least this pain and hatred doesn't make me suicidal anymore.

That's very important IMHO, to feel the anger and allow yourself to be angry with your parents, instead of suppressing it and letting it cause CTB thoughts in you!

 

[EvisceratedJester]

I hope it doesn't happen in the United States.

It literally happens all the time in the US

 

[CTB Dream]

vry sry all homophb wrld

 

[UnnervedCompany]

For everyone wondering im not burning the bridge now. Im still at home for Christmas break then I'll be going to university residence for school. I am going back to school next semester or when Christmas break ends. Im just planning to not go back after next semester. That gives me 4 months and so to find people to live with and get a job. If I can't do that I might have to just "cooperate" like others said but I would rather have a difficult life with freedom than be controlled like a cage pet.

It's not close to meaning you're actually gay

Well I am actually gay and if they find that out I'll be kicked out of the house before I can even prepare which is why I cant stay.

 

[LukaParrot]

Society rules sucks.... feel sorry for you.

At least you find yourself, what you are, what you want for your life.

Try to find a job and a friend to split the bills, a lot of people do that, it's kinda sucks in term of privacy but you can live your life the way you want without parents that are living in a box.

I'm not gay, but used to had a strange fetish, dont know why but i was since was a kid, just like to use underware that's not appropriate to my gender. There was a day my mother found out and I was sincere with her, she was very comprehensive but asked to not talk or let my father to find out because he's a lot conservative.

If you believe in reincarnation, in afterlife, I think we were man and woman. That's why a lot of people strugle with current gender, traces of the soul, a past life, miss how was to be a man or a woman. Maybe when we choose to reincarnate, it's like, my life sucks at being a man, now I wanna be a woman, life is so much better and easy and cool to be a woman, and vice-versa. I think some souls reach a point that they dont have a gender, that's why people can be bi-sexual too.

Unfortunately, once born, there is no sex exchange, you can change your outside apperance, but if it brings you happy, enjoy. If it's not need, and you like the same sex as you, enjoy life.

 

[needthebus]

For everyone wondering im not burning the bridge now. Im still at home for Christmas break then I'll be going to university residence for school. I am going back to school next semester or when Christmas break ends. Im just planning to not go back after next semester. That gives me 4 months and so to find people to live with and get a job. If I can't do that I might have to just "cooperate" like others said but I would rather have a difficult life with freedom than be controlled like a cage pet.

Well I am actually gay and if they find that out I'll be kicked out of the house before I can even prepare which is why I cant stay.

you could also look into scholarships and just be honest with them that your parents have cut you off because you are gay and won't be able to afford school otherwise

that's if you want to go to school. some people do better these days without it because so many have college nowdays that it isn't much of an edge with finding a job, but it's a huge cost to aquire

you sound smart and pragmatic to me. you'll probably be okay.

Just please try to get an emergency savings fund somehow. Find any legal way to get an emergency fund.I know you already know this but it's so important.

 

[-Link-]

I am sorry you're being let down so badly like this. I am at a loss as to what to say when someone is being failed so badly by people who by all accounts should have their back.

For everyone wondering im not burning the bridge now. Im still at home for Christmas break then I'll be going to university residence for school. I am going back to school next semester or when Christmas break ends. Im just planning to not go back after next semester. That gives me 4 months and so to find people to live with and get a job. If I can't do that I might have to just "cooperate" like others said but I would rather have a difficult life with freedom than be controlled like a cage pet.

This does sound like the best ("least awful") path for you to take right now.

Echoing @needthebus, too, in that you sound smart and pragmatic, and based on your posts here and other posts you've made, I feel very confident in you and confident that you have the ability to work your way through this in a way that will at least give you the best chance to get through it OK.

Wishing you well as can be under the circumstances, my friend.

 

[ForgottenAgain]

That is really horrible, complete stupidity in this day and age. I want to echo what @needthebus said about not burning bridges as it can negatively impact your life deeply.

Not the same case as you, but I had to live in a bad situation when I was younger where my father would bring cheap women into our house, spend all my dead mother's money on them and always put them first. They stole our belongings, one stole money from me, etc. I was very desperate to leave but I had no job, I was 13, had to live through that hell up to 24 years old when I was able to get a job that paid me enough to leave that house. Living there so long mentally damaged me but I thought that was best than not being able to secure my education to them get a job so I could live independently. I think my life would have been much worse if I had burned that bridge.
I also had to keep a lot of things secret and basically fabricate my personality at home. It is horrible but if you have a roof over your head, food, etc, it may be wise to fabricate a different personality for your family and then, once you secure your independence, then you can say whatever you want to them, they won't have any power over you anymore.

 

[Worndown]

I am so sorry your parents are so that proud that they would rather loose a child than accept them for who they are. Their loss.
In a way you are lucky, you get a chance to escape.

 

[astr4]

this is truly their loss, what a shame, driving away their brilliant amazing child over something like sexuality. you deserve 1000000x better.

My life just got a million times harder but at least this pain and hatred doesn't make me suicidal anymore.

i find this so so incredibly admirable. i hope everyone who has been abused is able to feel like this one day, myself included. what a mountain you've overcome. i wonder how many of us are suicidal because of messaging we received from other people… it's just a real shame.

i'm wishing you all the best, i hope you find your chosen family one day and receive the love and care you deserve.