Parents asking you to commit suicide?

[WhereMyDreamsWent]

Has anyone's parents ever asked you to die? When were u/how old were u then? I think I was about 8? But they just stopped around 14? I'm not sure what happened to them. I'm sure it's common right?

 

[Artictart]

It's not, I don't know your parents so I feel a bit bad saying this but you have shitty parents. My parents just talk about how they want me out of their lives, never death though.

 

[endless_pain]

Has anyone's parents ever asked you to die? When were u/how old were u then? I think I was about 8? But they just stopped around 14? I'm not sure what happened to them. I'm sure it's common right?

My parents implicitly said loud that I should die by hiding behind God and his divine intervention, when I was younger. Basically they meant my death.

 

[WhereMyDreamsWent]

My parents implicitly said loud that I should die by hiding behind God and his divine intervention, when I was younger. Basically they meant my death.

Have u forgiven them? I kind of need tips on that as well since I'm struggling with that and my parents don't remember when exactly they said these things. My mom knows she did and have apologised for it. But I can't really forgive them cause whenever I think about suicide I'll just pin it on them and that's been bothering me cause it's affecting our relationship ever since I got to understand a bit of what's happening to me. And it's just been worse recently since I've been getting the thoughts in my mind daily.

 

[glitterypearls]

my mom is NPD and she always told me "why don't you just kill yourself" even when I opened up to her about those thoughts or my mental health. she always called me too much of a pussy to CTB. or she would almost encourage me to do it, but she is NPD so it's understandable. I assume your parents suffer from mental illness such as narcissistic personality disorder. those type of parents tend to do that

 

[endless_pain]

Have u forgiven them? I kind of need tips on that as well since I'm struggling with that and my parents don't remember when exactly they said these things. My mom knows she did and have apologised for it. But I can't really forgive them cause whenever I think about suicide I'll just pin it on them and that's been bothering me cause it's affecting our relationship ever since I got to understand a bit of what's happening to me. And it's just been worse recently since I've been getting the thoughts in my mind daily.

I understood that they suffer of mental disorders, and the fact that they do not remember certain things it is gaslighting. My mother would never say exactly what/when it happened.
She apologized to me too but to manipulate me. It was a general apology. Think that they remember reactions you had years ago precisely but never what hurt you first from their side. They are in the narcissistic spectrum and would take years to heal, impossible without recognizing the need to work on themselves with a therapist. Like me that I have my therapist and working on the after effects of growing with them but having the awareness of the damage received during childhood. CBT thoughts aside.
I kind of have forgiven them, I am not angry anymore, although I will never justify their choices and their behaviours. Sometimes disorders aside, evil is done consciously and they will never admit it. Apologies are projections to external factors, they never take accountability of their own if you notice.

Apologies without changed behaviour are just manipulations.

 

[endofafoxtwo]

Has anyone's parents ever asked you to die? When were u/how old were u then? I think I was about 8? But they just stopped around 14? I'm not sure what happened to them. I'm sure it's common right?

Been told I was a mistake, worst thing to ever happen to her, should have aborted me etc but never asked to ctb. I've asked her to ctb many times though

CBT thoughts aside.

Oh no not CBT >.<

 

[Aisley]

We consider a lot of things in life as obvious, without questioning them, so I'll offer this- your forgiveness isn't necessary. She/they don't deserve it. And if it happened because of narcissism, all the more reason to distance yourself from such animals. They are cancer.

 

[Thisisme373]

my mom is NPD and she always told me "why don't you just kill yourself" even when I opened up to her about those thoughts or my mental health. she always called me too much of a pussy to CTB. or she would almost encourage me to do it, but she is NPD so it's understandable. I assume your parents suffer from mental illness such as narcissistic personality disorder. those type of parents tend to do that

Most of my immediate family are NPD so I can totally relate. They are repulsed by my depression & anxiety, cold, uncaring and rude. I will say though I wouldn't be understanding if they said that to me what your mom said, that's disgusting. I do clash with them when they are being assholes but I give them some slack due to their disorder but I won't stand for it when they cross the line. It's truly horrible being in a toxic family.

 

[pickajack]

To OP and everyone who posted similar experiences: You deserved so much better.
I get that parents are just links in a chain of generational trauma and I super respect that you've done the work to get to the place of understanding, but it doesn't change the fact that you all deserve better.

 

[Tobacco]

I'm sorry.
Those are horrible parents. Why didn't they just think about not having children instead.

 

[RedHotRage]

It's not common. And it's a control mechanism from fucked up people.

Imagine forcing someone into existence and then treating them like that.

 

[rashedul]

I'm really sorry, man.
My parents were never in love, I was a mistake but they will never say it directly verbally to me. My mother indirectly told me many times that If I wasn't born then she wouldn't have to live with my father and her life would've been way better. But she would've never said it If she had known how it would affect my mental health. She's just extremely uneducated and incapable of understanding me and reality. That's just how bad her upbringing was.

 

[DeadPool360]

NOT COMMON
you said your mom apologized that means she knows she was wrong
what about your father did he ever apologize ?
look you need to be treated in a good way by your parents
thats the normal way to be
if they still treat you badly just leave
if they treat you better that means that they still love you
just try to stop the thoughts make yourself busy
or get your closest friend to help you
tell them all your problems either you both solve it
or you will just feel better because you let all the feelings out

 

[KarmaBus]

That's really messed up. I'm sorry you experienced that. My mom would suggest I "go play on the freeway" a lot when I was young. I didn't understand for a long time what she was implying…just a more indirect way of suggesting I ctb.

 

[Unsure and Useless]

Based on the people I've met, this isn't a common occurrence, and they're terrible people (and loathsome parents) if this is how they treated you, even though they were the ones who brought you into this world. I hope that you're able to recover from the effects of the vile treatment they put you through.

My mom was the opposite. She'd tell me how she wanted to die because of me and wished for "God to take her." It wasn't as bad as telling me to CTB, but I never got over the immense guilt that comes with being told that you're the reason someone wants to CTB.

 

[leavingsoon99]

My mother would subtly elude to the fact that she didn't want me. She never wished me to commit suicide. I did tell her, once, that I wanted to kill myself. It was met with a "So?" followed by, "Well, you're going to hell if you do. That ain't my problem." That's why I laugh at the idea of "a mother's love". I guess I'm different, though. I'm truly sorry that your parents actually said such horrible things. I've met people with very loving parents, but for the most part, a lot of people should never have been parents.

If there's a god, I'm going to beat the holy hell out of him. Fuck him.

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

Fuck man your parents are horrible

 

[LittleJem]

It breaks my heart that anyone is spoken to like this by a parent. I know it is mental illness but I just wish these people would not have children to put them through such suffering.

My own mother did the 'I wish I never had children', 'I love the abortion I had at 18 more than I love you', 'you've ruined my life'. I used to think I was alone with it, but the books I read on toxic parents etc actually showed me this is all too common. Suggesting a child commit suicide is one step further.

I could film my mother being abusive and she would still deny she said any of it. I tried for years to get her to apologise (as if that would change things) but she is clueless about her behaviour. I used to use drugs to deal with seeing her, I wanted to 'love' her regardless. Then I got more and more incapacitated myself and so it's too dangerous to have her in my life. I think now I have autism so that combined with her lack of parenting led to greater issues for me and also greater judgment from her.

I think I have glimpsed having a 'real' mother for about five minutes on just one phone call. She is also the more ill I am the worse she is. If I am happy and can handle her - which is never nowadays, then she is much better behaved. I mean for about an hour which is how long she can behave for. Spend a day with her or two days and she is guaranteed to kick off.

I loved her through my childhood - maybe that is stockholm syndrome? I used to believe that if only I could love her enough things would be different. A life of magical thinking and here I am wanting to CTB and suffering every day all day.