Overwhelmed with self care

[Pubert]

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with "self care". Whenever I get in the habit of doing good things for myself, I add another thing that I need to improve on onto my list. Exercise, self confidence, going out, etc etc, it all just piles up until I feel like I can never get any of it done.

I have so many expectations for myself, then I fail to meet those expectations, then I feel worthless, then I want to give up, and then I hyper fixate on ctb.

In my core I believe I am a pathetic piece of garbage. How am I ever going to become someone that I like when there is so much I have to do to change? I feel like giving up and commiting to ctb again.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Trying to improve and become someone you actually like is really hard. I've tried to do it too, but here I am still wanting to die. Even though I've decided that I'm going to end my life regardless, I still try to fix things about myself, but it doesn't usually work very well.

Just curious, have you been in Recovery for most of your time here? If it's something you still want to do, then maybe you could try changing one thing at a time until you're satisfied with it, then move onto another, instead of trying to correct every single thing about yourself at once. It might help if you want to give it a shot. If it doesn't, the Suicide Discussion Forum will still be here.

 

[FuneralCry]

I can imagine that it must be stressful and tiring being in that situation, and I'm sorry that you are going through this. I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are exhausted. I hope that you find relief from suffering.

 

[jimmy7754]

It's not your fault.. we are so isolated and alone.. it's not suppose to be this alienating to exist.. the way the world is constructed is so backwards.. misleading.. don't be so hard on yourself

This is what I tell myself and I do the same thing you do.. I wish I could ctb but I'm such a strong atheist it's hard to get myself out of here.. absolute nothingness after life actually makes me bitter probably because I'm not terminally ill and feel left behind by the milestones I probably should've met by now.

 

[Timeleft]

I made "self care" such a priority that it consumed me daily and no matter how much I did I never felt fully satisfied. I used to exercise, eat healthy, sleep 8hrs a day, and have a daily skin care routine. In the moment it made me feel so happy because I felt like I was improving my overall health and appearance. I thought doing these sorta things might make me somewhat more attractive. I've come to realize that genetics is what really determines that. Despite knowing that, I wanted to improve my "self care" even more. I noticed that I was losing a lot of hair and it was rather thin. I googled hair loss solutions and that's when I discovered a drug called finasteride. I then went and got a prescription for finasteride from my doctor. Little did I know that a hair loss drug would make me want to end my life.

 

[Hollowillow]

Sometimes I feel so overwhelmed with "self care". Whenever I get in the habit of doing good things for myself, I add another thing that I need to improve on onto my list. Exercise, self confidence, going out, etc etc, it all just piles up until I feel like I can never get any of it done.

I have so many expectations for myself, then I fail to meet those expectations, then I feel worthless, then I want to give up, and then I hyper fixate on ctb.

In my core I believe I am a pathetic piece of garbage. How am I ever going to become someone that I like when there is so much I have to do to change? I feel like giving up and commiting to ctb again.

If something depletes your energy, it's not self care.

Self care is making sure that your basic survival needs are met.

Food
Not calories, real nutrition. Especially vitamin c, b, magnesium. Get more nutrition not less calories. Stuff high in nutrition naturally has low calories so your body will build muscles, nerves & vital functions. You can't store c & b in fat.

Rest
Society shames you for sleeping late & relaxing all week end? Fuck the slave mindset. You're not lazy, you do energy preservation & heal. Sleep.

Safety
Ban sadists & have compassion for yourself. Self esteem will come effortlesly.

Exercise is not vital. It's useful to ealk gently to move the lymphatic system around. And it can be fun to play a sport with friends. But running in a hamster wheel to burn fat... Then going to a mc donald... That's exhausting. Waste of energy. We can't outrun a toxic diet.

Going out to have a social life can fulfil emotional needs. But I prefer to have 1 close friend than blow my brains out with overstimulation in a bar full of lazers. I passed out the first came I went. Got a stupid lazer in my eye or something.

We're not meant to do it all. That's why it's precious. Because we must choose.

Self care is energy up... Hobbies & duties are energy out... We must make sure that we recharge as much as we spend or we break.

The warning is anxiety. After we break it's depression. This is good. You want alarms. Or you'll drop dead of heart attacks... Which I envy... But... Yeah.

 

[Shadowlord900]

I'd try to not get too hung up on trying to better yourself in every way possible. I used to be a perfectionist and it took me until my mid 20s to realize I'd never be able to reach the standards I want.

No one in the world's perfect, and the way I see it, if we didn't have anything left to do that could better ourselves, we would feel like there's nothing productive left to do.