Overthinking suicide

[jimmy7754]

I am overthinking suicide.. I appreciate this website.. I like to banter in the general chat and read people's views on what's after death.. but I just went for a walk around my childhood neighborhood.. I remember feeling weightless and happy then.. small didn't care about anything.. had a future I could still work towards.. I just feel my life adult life has been a sham.. I just want to flip the switch now and get it over with.. I hope N is as good as it's out to be because I tried partial a few times and I don't have confidence in that method.. I'm thinking about picking a spot out in the woods and just taking N there with a blanket and my AirPods listening to some of my favorite songs.. I'm so tired of fighting.. I have no kids and my relationships never worked out.. I'm already 32 on my way to 33.. I'm just not gonna make it.. if I keep dragging my feet through the shit with my life it's just going to be so numbing.. I feel bad for my mom but she knows how I'm feeling and I told her I'll leave a note.. and my brother is doing extremely well.. my advice for anyone on the fence and young.. don't fuck around with college and your choices too much once your 18.. I've been so fucked with I'm tired of it..

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that things are so hopeless, I know that it can be so hard to carry on when you are tired of everything. I think if I had the option of N it would be comforting, hanging does sound like a horrible way to leave this world. The fear of failure is what holds me back from attempting. I hope you find relief from your suffering in whatever happens.

 

[lostmylove]

Jimmy am sorry you're feeling like this. N is what I will be taking too. I have confidence in the method but I'm not sure if the woods is a good idea personally

 

[jimmy7754]

Jimmy am sorry you're feeling like this. N is what I will be taking too. I have confidence in the method but I'm not sure if the woods is a good idea personally

It really isn't but around me are plenty of places easy enough.. I like being out in nature.. I could also just use my car and park somewhere for 24 hours easily.. I'm located nowhere busy at all..