HannahB
Death is the true name of time.
- Oct 29, 2019
- 185
Many people lack the resources I have been blessed with in regards to education so I would like to share what I know on this misunderstood subject.
Survival instincts is a blanket term for any self-preserving action. But your survival instinct isnt a conscious being capable of logic and deduction. Much like the dsm5 doesnt prove the existance an object called anxiety but rather it describes similar sets of symptoms we labeled as anxiety. It's much like the difference between a disease and a disorder. Disease can be boiled down to a singular cause such as a virus or mutation in dna. But a disorder is more complex it can arise from many different causes.
Survival instinct fits more into the disorder category then the disease. It can arise from many different factors including genetic predisposition, environment, or even thoughts. So today we will go over these.
First genetic predisposition: every human has a different set of dna and therefore the exact mechinisms of si will be slightly different. But genetic predisposition is not a finality we still have gene expression. Gene expression depends on environmental factors. You could be predisposed to suicide but you live a good life and therefore dont kill yourself that's gene expression. Just because you have a predisposition to cancer doesn't mean you'll get cancer. It just means from the perspective of a non linear dynamic system you have a higher probability.
Environment plays a huge role. Regardless of genes the environment can still cause suicide. We have all seen look at Jeffery Epstein. Your situation can be so unbearable that you fear it more than you fear death.
Your person perception is also a huge contributor. If you believe in hell you'll be more apt to stay living than kill yourself. Or if you believe death is gods plan we can see the opposite.
All this implies that the si isnt that smart or that powerful and can be tricked or trained. When we see someone else doing somthing difficult and not being phased we assume its just easier for them. That's sorta correct but you must understand why.
Habits they are the most powerful thing you own. I have trained years in martial arts and many other physically demanding sports. One thing I learned is how to overcome my self preservation. They way I did it was habits.
I remeber the first year I cycle raced. The group I was riding with was going to do a 25 mile loop at 25 mph. By mile 5 I was DEAD. My legs were burning my lungs about to explode but my coach held back with me and motivated me. I was in so so so much pain by mile 25 but I was also amazed at what my body can do. I can not listen to it screaming and it's still got like 90% more power its just a wimp. I was blown away.
By the second year of my training 25 mph was easy for me and actually quite boring. Every time I would go ride with a friend and they would go 20 I would almost die of boredom. Its crazy but something that two years prior brought me to my knees it was so hard was now.... so easy it was stupid.
Same thing in martial arts. Every time I would fight I would go into this semi freak out black out moment and always lost. Until one day when I decided Idgaf anymore if I get punched in the face. Then it all changed it's like my eyes were opened during the fights I slowly began to be confident in my actions and my si left me alone.
So how did I do it?
Let's talk physiology. When a human is an a stressfull new situation the hypothalamus is on high alert. It sends signals to your sympathetic nervous system to prepare you to fight run or submit. Your reaction to a situation is dependent upon your Genes your environment your history many things but that also means its changeable.
So how do you change it? Practice.
Theres a reason many people who do ctb have tried many times before. It takes time for you to mourn the death of your dreams of yourself and of your life. But if you habitually bring your mind to a place where suicide is the answer then eventually you will desensitize to it.
So what does that actually feel like?
It's like riding a bike or public speaking. The only way you can be confident doing so is from experience or lack of experience. Seeing as we cannot lack experience in being alive the only opinion is to desensitize your fight or flight response to the idea of death. To become confident in dying.
For this to happen you need to listen to your fears. You just lean into them not away from them. When I go to ctb what usually happens is I start thinking about my partner. Physiologically what happens is the hypothalamus triggered the release of adrenaline. It also cuts off bloodflow to non essential parts of the body such as the digestive system and prefrontal cortex. A side effect is the inability to use higher thinking and I am therefore stuck in the reptilian brain and my feelings.
The way i have changed this is by linking higher thoughts to suicide. For example when I was cycling for the first time I had no higher thinking connected to going that fast for that long. Over time I learned that it made me better sexier and stronger so when my legs were screaming my brain linked it with bring sexy allowing my prefrontal cortex to calm my amygdala with logic.
As for suicide I have linked it to higher thoughts of happiness and relief of kindness and ultimate accomplishments and its slowly becoming normal. Less painfull less scary.
Survival instincts is a blanket term for any self-preserving action. But your survival instinct isnt a conscious being capable of logic and deduction. Much like the dsm5 doesnt prove the existance an object called anxiety but rather it describes similar sets of symptoms we labeled as anxiety. It's much like the difference between a disease and a disorder. Disease can be boiled down to a singular cause such as a virus or mutation in dna. But a disorder is more complex it can arise from many different causes.
Survival instinct fits more into the disorder category then the disease. It can arise from many different factors including genetic predisposition, environment, or even thoughts. So today we will go over these.
First genetic predisposition: every human has a different set of dna and therefore the exact mechinisms of si will be slightly different. But genetic predisposition is not a finality we still have gene expression. Gene expression depends on environmental factors. You could be predisposed to suicide but you live a good life and therefore dont kill yourself that's gene expression. Just because you have a predisposition to cancer doesn't mean you'll get cancer. It just means from the perspective of a non linear dynamic system you have a higher probability.
Environment plays a huge role. Regardless of genes the environment can still cause suicide. We have all seen look at Jeffery Epstein. Your situation can be so unbearable that you fear it more than you fear death.
Your person perception is also a huge contributor. If you believe in hell you'll be more apt to stay living than kill yourself. Or if you believe death is gods plan we can see the opposite.
All this implies that the si isnt that smart or that powerful and can be tricked or trained. When we see someone else doing somthing difficult and not being phased we assume its just easier for them. That's sorta correct but you must understand why.
Habits they are the most powerful thing you own. I have trained years in martial arts and many other physically demanding sports. One thing I learned is how to overcome my self preservation. They way I did it was habits.
I remeber the first year I cycle raced. The group I was riding with was going to do a 25 mile loop at 25 mph. By mile 5 I was DEAD. My legs were burning my lungs about to explode but my coach held back with me and motivated me. I was in so so so much pain by mile 25 but I was also amazed at what my body can do. I can not listen to it screaming and it's still got like 90% more power its just a wimp. I was blown away.
By the second year of my training 25 mph was easy for me and actually quite boring. Every time I would go ride with a friend and they would go 20 I would almost die of boredom. Its crazy but something that two years prior brought me to my knees it was so hard was now.... so easy it was stupid.
Same thing in martial arts. Every time I would fight I would go into this semi freak out black out moment and always lost. Until one day when I decided Idgaf anymore if I get punched in the face. Then it all changed it's like my eyes were opened during the fights I slowly began to be confident in my actions and my si left me alone.
So how did I do it?
Let's talk physiology. When a human is an a stressfull new situation the hypothalamus is on high alert. It sends signals to your sympathetic nervous system to prepare you to fight run or submit. Your reaction to a situation is dependent upon your Genes your environment your history many things but that also means its changeable.
So how do you change it? Practice.
Theres a reason many people who do ctb have tried many times before. It takes time for you to mourn the death of your dreams of yourself and of your life. But if you habitually bring your mind to a place where suicide is the answer then eventually you will desensitize to it.
So what does that actually feel like?
It's like riding a bike or public speaking. The only way you can be confident doing so is from experience or lack of experience. Seeing as we cannot lack experience in being alive the only opinion is to desensitize your fight or flight response to the idea of death. To become confident in dying.
For this to happen you need to listen to your fears. You just lean into them not away from them. When I go to ctb what usually happens is I start thinking about my partner. Physiologically what happens is the hypothalamus triggered the release of adrenaline. It also cuts off bloodflow to non essential parts of the body such as the digestive system and prefrontal cortex. A side effect is the inability to use higher thinking and I am therefore stuck in the reptilian brain and my feelings.
The way i have changed this is by linking higher thoughts to suicide. For example when I was cycling for the first time I had no higher thinking connected to going that fast for that long. Over time I learned that it made me better sexier and stronger so when my legs were screaming my brain linked it with bring sexy allowing my prefrontal cortex to calm my amygdala with logic.
As for suicide I have linked it to higher thoughts of happiness and relief of kindness and ultimate accomplishments and its slowly becoming normal. Less painfull less scary.
