ambivalent_thespian
Depressed Theatre Adult
- Oct 5, 2023
- 41
I feel like my journey kind of puts me out of place here. I can't relate like I used to be able to. I understand not everyone can just afford to drop everything and move to the beach to work their dream job for a summer. And like idk I wish more ppl could do that. because I was truly ready to end it all at the ripe age of 16. And for pretty justifiable reasons even looking back at it now. Like I pinky promise it was not just teen angst. And then it moved into "well maybe I dont need to die but I'm not super interested in life either". And then I managed to get my baseline back to happy instead of miserable. So I do think I might truly be in remission (at least from the depression, that ptsd ain't fucking going anywhere). Not just in a calm before the storm (or at least dear god I hope not because that low would be miserable after this long of being fine).
So yeah idk what happened really. It just, got better. Maybe it was just because I got better at actually doing stuff and not getting stuck in mental paralysis. Maybe it was something else. I'm not sure.
But yeah I like being here. it's not rlly triggering. I just find it odd to keep returning. Maybe I won't someday, but I like it here, and I would like to stay as long as I feel comfortable doing so,
So yeah idk what happened really. It just, got better. Maybe it was just because I got better at actually doing stuff and not getting stuck in mental paralysis. Maybe it was something else. I'm not sure.
But yeah I like being here. it's not rlly triggering. I just find it odd to keep returning. Maybe I won't someday, but I like it here, and I would like to stay as long as I feel comfortable doing so,
