Others have no empathy for suicidal people

[celest]

I don't know where this notion of assuming people will feel sorry for you because you're suicidal comes from, but I used to believe it and it's not true. They will see you as a failure at best and a freak at worst. Your family will resent you because they'll think you're selfish, and your friends will distance themselves because now you're a 'danger'. Socially it's stigmatized so if they're aware of your tendencies it'll make things awkward, and even if some may seem like they're trying to help soon you'll realize it's only for them to feel better, not you.
Personally if anyone who know me learned I was suicidal it would make me less of a person in their eyes. They'd get a glimpse of the self-hatred I have for myself and for some reason this drives people away. I'm tired of feeling the way I do, but I'm more tired of pretending it's okay.
It's so sad to see what my life has turned out to be. Words will never be enough to express the pain I'm going through.

 

[autistocracy]

Absolutely, and god forbid if your suicidal thoughts are chronic. Then they call you 'attention seeking'. It's funny because those negative responses only make the suicidal ideation worse. It's almost as though they enjoy seeing suicidal people in pain.

 

[FuneralCry]

So many humans really are so unnecessarily cruel and insensitive, to me humans are the worst species. I think it's always a terrible idea opening up about wanting to die as most people won't even try to understand.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I once broke down in front of my narcissistic Mother when I was 14 and told her that I was feeling suicidal. I had already been diagnosed with clinical depression, so she knew I was ill.
She just gave me a nasty look and said " Well if you are thinking of cutting your wrists, make sure you do it outside, I've just finished doing the housework ".

 

[celest]

So many humans really are so unnecessarily cruel and insensitive, to me humans are the worst species. I think it's always a terrible idea opening up about wanting to die as most people won't even try to understand.

I agree that it sucks to open out. They DO NOT care. They'll run away as soon as they realize their stupid advice won't be enough to change your mind.

I once broke down in front of my narcissistic Mother when I was 14 and told her that I was feeling suicidal. I had already been diagnosed with clinical depression, so she knew I was ill.
She just gave me a nasty look and said " Well if you are thinking of cutting your wrists, make sure you do it outside, I've just finished doing the housework ".

That's such a shitty mother, I'm so sorry. Not everyone should be qualified to bring children into this world

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

Sorry OP but I don't think you should care with what they think about your suicidal thoughts unless if you go to them and tell them that you are suicidal and tbh personally I'm someone who doesn't need anyone's empathy. My life is my life alone and nobody's and there is someone dying in every second and also someone committing suicide in every 20 seconds so death or suicide shouldn't be viewed as a taboo or looked down upon.

I do agree with Callie Lewis when she said humans are weird, I don't look for empathy from anyone because if you do it means you are putting so much emphasis on what they think about your life decisions and choices. The only regret I have for the past five years was not researching properly about suicide and not knowing about this website. I do remember Callie tried at least 6 times to commit suicide and the last time she was successful, she tried two times from hanging herself and then the other four times from carbon monoxide.

Just to add - I have had an ex telling me he was suicidal and I urged him to go and see a therapist because I told him I had been suicidal before and also someone I was close to told me they wanted to die or kill themselves. I will never encourage anyone to commit suicide as it is a very personal thing and a permanent thing because once you are gone, there is no way of coming back.

All the best OP

 

[celest]

Sorry OP but I don't think you should care with what they think about your suicidal thoughts unless if you go to them and tell them that you are suicidal and tbh personally I'm someone who doesn't need anyone's empathy. My life is my life alone and nobody's and there is someone dying in every second and also someone committing suicide in every 20 seconds so death or suicide shouldn't be viewed as a taboo or looked down upon.

I do agree with Callie Lewis when she said humans are weird, I don't look for empathy from anyone because if you do it means you are putting so much emphasis on what they think about your life decisions and choices. The only regret I have for the past five years was not researching properly about suicide and not knowing about this website. I do remember Callie tried at least 6 times to commit suicide and the last time she was successful, she tried two times from hanging herself and then the other four times from carbon monoxide.

Just to add - I have had an ex telling me he was suicidal and I urged him to go and see a therapist because I told him I had been suicidal before and also someone I was close to told me they wanted to die or kill themselves. I will never encourage anyone to commit suicide as it is a very personal thing and a permanent thing because once you are gone, there is no way of coming back.

All the best OP

You're so right and it's funny because one of my main reasons for ctb is centered around what others think of me. I love how you're only concerned about your own life decisions and don't expect validation from anyone.

 

[Fktw0rld]

Society just wants to be on the team that gets them the most public acceptance. They don't have the heart to stand up for what they believe in, what's right or wrong. It all boils down to what the masses approve of and what will make them fit in. Sympathy for people like us is seen as weakness. They think tough love is cool. So and so said they want to die so I TOLD THEM!

Then when we make our exit they seek more acceptance and sympathetic attention by claiming they're mourning our death. Their lives are all about likes, follows and shares. On and off social media.

 

[Goodgirlryeo101]

You're so right and it's funny because one of my main reasons for ctb is centered around what others think of me. I love how you're only concerned about your own life decisions and don't expect validation from anyone.

Or maybe not so but rather it's people who won't leave you alone but harass you for half a decade and won't you let live your life and they follow and stalk everywhere you go with fake stories after fake stories just to prove to the poor old you who is suicidal and wants to die and leave this world.

Well I'm talking about myself here.

Good luck OP

 

[Torabol]

I think you're right. the first time I admitted I was suicidal to someone was also the last.

 

[ihatethisplanet]

Oh yes, I made the mistake of telling my husband about my suicidal thoughts before he was due to go on a day trip. He stayed home, but little did I know he'd spend the next two years blaming me for making him stay home (I didn't even ask him to stay, ffs) and saying I use suicide as manipulation. Then when I told him that I'd considered going out and freezing to death, he told me I'd "missed my chance" because we had just had a cold spell the previous week.

My mother only has two things to say - you'll go to hell and what about us?

At least now I have this forum to discuss things without being mocked.

 

[Fktw0rld]

I once broke down in front of my narcissistic Mother when I was 14 and told her that I was feeling suicidal. I had already been diagnosed with clinical depression, so she knew I was ill.
She just gave me a nasty look and said " Well if you are thinking of cutting your wrists, make sure you do it outside, I've just finished doing the housework ".

That's very sad. And unfortunately, relatable. Crazy part is, I never cared about it happening to me. But it always saddened me when it happens to someone else.

 

[MrDarkness]

I don't know where this notion of assuming people will feel sorry for you because you're suicidal comes from, but I used to believe it and it's not true. They will see you as a failure at best and a freak at worst. Your family will resent you because they'll think you're selfish, and your friends will distance themselves because now you're a 'danger'. Socially it's stigmatized so if they're aware of your tendencies it'll make things awkward, and even if some may seem like they're trying to help soon you'll realize it's only for them to feel better, not you.
Personally if anyone who know me learned I was suicidal it would make me less of a person in their eyes. They'd get a glimpse of the self-hatred I have for myself and for some reason this drives people away. I'm tired of feeling the way I do, but I'm more tired of pretending it's okay.
It's so sad to see what my life has turned out to be. Words will never be enough to express the pain I'm going through.

Had to convince my mom that it's okay if I die early via suicide, as I'm at peace and she shouldn't blame herself, she accepted it in return I agreed to get help, I'll see it works, if it doesn't ctb is the option

 

[R.E.N.]

What would you want a person to do when you admit it? Are you looking for someone to help you? Or listen?

 

[mlcs]

As a suicidal person I don't need empathy from others. I don't consider myself worthy. Would be nice to have a peaceful option to disappear, nothing more. I don't need anyone sitting with me and telling me it's okay to feel certain way or that everything will be fine. I know it won't. I know when all hope is gone. My only wish is for this beautiful world and these beuatiful people around me to continue their way, without me. I once wanted to be part of this beautiful life, tried it, but turns out it's not for me. I can't feel, I act and talk like a numb vegetable. It hurts a bit when I can remember that I was once normal, and can still remember how I could feel everything properly.

 

[mathiessi]

Have been suicidal since 14 year old , at first I did not speak about it , but tried it , after my failure to ctb , my family was asking question and some of them where mad at me. I spoke about it year later to friend and big mistake ... they simply brush me away telling me i was crazy. Since i never spoke about that to any of my relative. I spoke about it recently on the phone line and it shocked me to see on the other end of the line was not a human with empathy but a train robot who's there to fix the statistic and what a bad idea i had to speak about my plant to ctb , they send someone to my home , the time this person come , i can tell you that i brushed my tear away and put my self on my 39 , too look great ... I will never again call those Help line. Telling to my relative at my age will simply became a burden on them. Who the fuck love to be friend with someone crying like a baby ... anyway my biggest fear is my childrens , hope i do not pass this behavior to them. I hope if i ever ctb i will never be found , so no one will ever know i ctb , i do not plant to leave a note.

anyway OP , your not alone like that :)

 

[celest]

Had to convince my mom that it's okay if I die early via suicide, as I'm at peace and she shouldn't blame herself, she accepted it in return I agreed to get help, I'll see it works, if it doesn't ctb is the option

I hope it does and I don't think your mother will ever fully agree with you committing suicide. Survival instinct is strong in humans and it's even stronger for a mother who can possibly lose her child. My mom is suicidal and ironically she would lose it if I ever did it myself. Nonetheless I really hope getting help works for you.

What would you want a person to do when you admit it? Are you looking for someone to help you? Or listen?

Tbh I don't expect anything, never did and I understand why most are hesitant to interact with people who suffer. It's the realization that no one deep down really cares about anything other than themselves that gets to me. I don't have a problem with say this specific person, but rather the human nature itself. Also the only way for me to maintain friendships is to pretend I'm okay and you can guess how draining that is. Just another reason to add in the box.

 

[Techef]

The only people I've met who were empathetic towards suicidal people are those that are suicidal themselves or were suicidal, and didn't get completely brainwashed by pro-lifer agenda. My sibling was one of those people and an invaluable ally until they completely bought into the pro-life agenda in the mental health community. I wish I could talk to them again.

 

[celest]

The only people I've met who were empathetic towards suicidal people are those that are suicidal themselves or were suicidal, and didn't get completely brainwashed by pro-lifer agenda. My sibling was one of those people and an invaluable ally until they completely bought into the pro-life agenda in the mental health community. I wish I could talk to them again.

Yes I agree. Only those who are going or went through a similar experience can understand the depths of this pain. I get your feelings about your sibling. If it were up to me I'd want everyone to believe life is worth living but obviously that's never gonna be the case. I'm happy some get out of this hole but I wish it didn't make them lose empathy for the ones left behind.

 

[Owl_07]

I totally agree too. For those who have not known the depths of certain states of emotional suffering, it is difficult to imagine that anyone could really want to take their own life. Anger and the accusation of being selfish I believe are mainly defense mechanisms against the shame and incomprehensibility of such despair. It is easier to distance this perspective from oneself than to try to welcome it