Ordered my SN and other thoughts

[Mia Wallace]

Hey fam, I ordered my SN and it's on its way! I got 99% purity but it's technical grade. The only one I could get my hands on "to cure salmon eggs" so I'm hoping it gets the job done.
I plan on checking into a hotel but I want it to be in towns away so it somehow doesn't leak to everyone in my town of what happened. I am making it very clear in my note how I don't want an obituary, wake, funeral, nor any public posts across social media so people I never really interacted with can find out and send pity to my fam who doesn't even care about me and would want to post stuff for their own attention needs.
I don't know why this is so important to me but it is. They probably will still go against my wishes and it shouldn't matter bc I will be gone but I'd hope they'd respect that.
My plan is to follow Stan's guide (minus propanol and proper meto-I do have Zofran I will take though) and start about 9pm. Hoping that will give me enough time to be gone for morning. I will probably check in for two days and hang a do not disturb on my door for good measure.
I do feel extremely guilty for whoever has to find me though, I'd hate to cause trauma to anyone so if anyone could give me advice on how to get over that, I'd appreciate it.
I guess I'll listen to music on my way out (the song sleep walk) or put on my favorite asmr artist to see me out…
I will actually try to do a goodbye thread and document as much as I can as well.
I think I should get a new phone and clear my old ones out before I go so nobody can go in and see my past history, etc…
Anyways, sorry so long just needed yo vent a bit. I hope everyone is managing their day the best they can. Much love

 

[FuneralCry]

It's understandable not wanting a funeral and not wanting many people to know about your death. I personally would prefer to just be completely forgotten about. It must be a relief having plans to exit this existence, at least I have read that for many people it is. I wish you freedom from all suffering for when the time is right for you to leave.

 

[wljourney]

I do feel extremely guilty for whoever has to find me though, I'd hate to cause trauma to anyone so if anyone could give me advice on how to get over that, I'd appreciate it.

I understand the feeling of relief it brings when you have the tools in your hand for the method that you have chosen. Having a choice is often quite soothing and can help hanging on for a few more weeks or months. Just because it gives us the feeling of "being in control" and having a way out if necessary.
I hope that works for you as well.

Re your question above - well... I think we all struggle with that. I recall someone mentioning this plan:

Write a sign (letter size paper) saying something like "please do not enter - call 911".
Use a roll of packing tape and tape it across the little "hallway" that hotel rooms usually have.
Just between entrance door and bathroom door, so you can still use the bathroom once the sign is up.

That might keep the maid from walking further and calling EMS/police without actually "finding" your body.
In the end, SOMEONE will have to find you. That's unavoidable. But EMS/police are more used to it and also receive counseling/training on how to manage those experiences.

 

[Mia Wallace]

It's understandable not wanting a funeral and not wanting many people to know about your death. I personally would prefer to just be completely forgotten about. It must be a relief having plans to exit this existence, at least I have read that for many people it is. I wish you freedom from all suffering for when the time is right for you to leave.

Thank you so much, FuneralCry <3 I always enjoy your posts and appreciate all of your support thus far. I wish the same for you, complete peace and freedom and if we do go somewhere else, all the happiness there

I understand the feeling of relief it brings when you have the tools in your hand for the method that you have chosen. Having a choice is often quite soothing and can help hanging on for a few more weeks or months. Just because it gives us the feeling of "being in control" and having a way out if necessary.
I hope that works for you as well.

Re your question above - well... I think we all struggle with that. I recall someone mentioning this plan:

Write a sign (letter size paper) saying something like "please do not enter - call 911".
Use a roll of packing tape and tape it across the little "hallway" that hotel rooms usually have.
Just between entrance door and bathroom door, so you can still use the bathroom once the sign is up.

That might keep the maid from walking further and calling EMS/police without actually "finding" your body.
In the end, SOMEONE will have to find you. That's unavoidable. But EMS/police are more used to it and also receive counseling/training on how to manage those experiences.

Omg thank you so much for this response. That is a brilliant idea that never crossed my mind! It really does bring me so much relief knowing I'm one step closer so which will hopefully bring eternal peace. <3

 

[NoLightRemains]

Write a sign (letter size paper) saying something like "please do not enter - call 911".
Use a roll of packing tape and tape it across the little "hallway" that hotel rooms usually have.
Just between entrance door and bathroom door, so you can still use the bathroom once the sign is up.

That might keep the maid from walking further and calling EMS/police without actually "finding" your body.
In the end, SOMEONE will have to find you. That's unavoidable. But EMS/police are more used to it and also receive counseling/training on how to manage those experiences.

This is a great suggestion, thank you for posting this. I had a similar plan where I would tape the warning note on my suitcase and block the door with it as much as possible. Incorporating this will let me post something at eye level, and more likely to not be ignored. I feel so bad for the housekeeping staff and had a similar thought process about the EMS/police.