Venting Ordered meto and sn but I'm feeling bad about it

[Lotus1818]

I just ordered my meto and SN. But I'm kinda freaking out. I thought I wanted to die. But now that I actually ordered it I feel sick

I kinda wanted to have this stuff just in case. But the shelf life of both of these things aren't that long. Now it feels I have a time limit to take this stuff.

I'm trying to get better by going to different doctors and taking some time off from work. My S.O. is very worried about me and doesn't want me to die. I don't want to leave her behind but I also want my ultimate rest. I can't stand the idea of needing to live for another 40 years just working everyday. My body has allot of physical pain. And I guess I'm just sad in general.

What do you guys think?

 

[MourningHeart]

Dont rush anything. You're feeling sick even though you only ordered it. Make your mind clear before doing anything irreversible. You have time, SN can last long time in the shelf. You can get the other things like meto easy again.

 

[SawItOnce]

The shelf life is quite long for both of them... Look at it this way: if by the time they expire you'll still want to be around, you'll buy another batch for the emotional comfort of option.

If you're worried that it'll be harder to purchase them then, there will also most probably be a whole lot of new information on peaceful ways, probably new sources, new substances. Also euthanasia may be [more] accessible by then. Human society is many bad things, but it is also in perpetual motion, and there are tons of people who believe in the choice of ending your own life and many who actively fight for it. Things will be different somehow, and I do think it will be simpler to manage the end of life.

 

[Lotus1818]

Thanks everyone. I will just keep it for now for emotional comfort. I'll just see what happens with work and what the doctors will say

 

[TrailerTrash]

Agree with MourningHeart ...... just take it one day at a time .... it all we humans do whether we realize it or not .... because yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't promised to anyone.

 

[JSauter]

The shelf life for both, unopened, is decades.

 

[Lotus1818]

The shelf life for both, unopened, is decades.

Really? I thought the SN was 3 years and the meto 2 years @Stan is this true?

 

[JimFord99]

Well, at least you have your gear, even if you do change your mind, give it away. If you don't change your Ming, you are prepared. Nothing to worry, consider this as a success.

 

[Lotus1818]

Well, at least you have your gear, even if you do change your mind, give it away. If you don't change your Ming, you are prepared. Nothing to worry, consider this as a success.

Yeah haha that's a good way to see it. I wish everyone could just have the ticket to the bus. It would help people allot mentally.

 

[JimFord99]

Well, always look at the bright side of life ... (from a comedy movie, forgot which one, but still true)

 

[lymbo]

OP how old are u, what causes your payn?

 

[Essence]

Well, always look at the bright side of life ... (from a comedy movie, forgot which one, but still true)

Monty Pythons Life of Brian

 

[Lotus1818]

OP how old are u, what causes your payn?

I'm 26 I got arm and leg pain from my job. I sit behind a computer all day.

 

[lymbo]

I'm 26 I got arm and leg pain from my job. I sit behind a computer all day.

what job?

 

[Lotus1818]

what job?

I work for a production company making ads and various animations

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

Here if you need to chat. It must be tough. I already have everything but the SN which should be arriving this week. Trying to check the mail before my mum does when she leaves for work is stressful.

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Really? I thought the SN was 3 years and the meto 2 years @Stan is this true?

This is fairly correct. Manufacturers say 3 years for SN. If it's unopened and kept in a dark, dry environment.

 

[lavenderlungs]

i think it's perfectly fine to freak out a little once the plan starts to become a reality, but like @MourningHeart flagged, you're feeling sick just from ordering it. you don't need to rush things.

there's no harm in taking some time off work and seeing what the doctors can do - it may be something you're interested or wanting to do by the sounds of it.

if after trying nothing comes of that, then you always have the pre-ordered option. very much an emotional comfort.

we're always here no matter which road you choose, so don't be ashamed of either.

 

[Lotus1818]

i think it's perfectly fine to freak out a little once the plan starts to become a reality, but like @MourningHeart flagged, you're feeling sick just from ordering it. you don't need to rush things.

there's no harm in taking some time off work and seeing what the doctors can do - it may be something you're interested or wanting to do by the sounds of it.

if after trying nothing comes of that, then you always have the pre-ordered option. very much an emotional comfort.

we're always here no matter which road you choose, so don't be ashamed of either.

Thank you I'll keep it mind

 

[lymbo]

what are the doctors prognosys

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

I'm also your age and I deal with chronic pain everyday. I also work with computers and it's not enjoyable. Concentration problems due to the pain . I do my best everyday but the pain is still there in my arm and torax. It never goes away I know how it feels. So sorry.. I wish I were healthy again and enjoy life like before. I wouldnt have suicidal thoughts. I cant believe I'm in this nightmare. It sucks. With suicide I'm not ending the pain, I'm ending mt life but I dont see another way. My life/lifestyle changed a lot.

 

[Lotus1818]

what are the doctors prognosys

They think it's caused by stress

 

[noctiva]

Really? I thought the SN was 3 years and the meto 2 years @Stan is this true?

It is guaranteed by some producers that the SN lasts a MINIMUM of 3 years if stored cold, dark and dry. Remember that you are buying minimum 95% purity, so you will not have that purity for 3 years and the day after the 3 years it will suddenly be 0%. It will degrade eventually, yes, but slowly. You will be equally dead with 93% purity, we are taking massive overdoses here to ctb, so the slow minimal degradation should not be a problem. In laboratory settings the bottles are usually used up until empty, not until the best before date. My own bottle from work was opened 2002, and we still use it and it does what it should do.
Metoclopramide date is also a minimum usable until date. If the pills, and most other drugs as well, are still packaged properly, have not changed their consistency or colour/ have gotten spots form moisture, you will be fine.
And don't forget, no one will force you to take it, if you change your mind. I am happy that you are still trying to get better, trying therapy and that you have someone who is there for you. Keep on trying for as long as you can, you can always die, but you cannot get your life back.

 

[LegaliseIt!]

Monty Pythons Life of Brian

 

[MissNietzsche]

It's okay OP <3 I bought my SN and meto recently as well, but I'm not planning on using it right away. The shelf life is decades..it's just soothing to have, knowing we have that exit 24/7 at our disposal. But just because we have it doesn't mean we have to use it.

I want to be 100% sure I'm ready to go when I do choose to ctb. You should be too.