Discussion Opinions on marriage?

[mono]

Just as the title says.
Personally, I wouldn't ever get married because I would only hurt my partner in the end and I feel like it would be selfish of me to knowingly put them in that position.
I know my time will be coming in a few years, I've planned it out for a long time and though id possibly date someone in that time period (though, I don't really plan to.) I wouldn't ever marry them because I have my mind set to eventually ctb and I wouldn't want to lie saying I'll spend our entire lives together when I know it's not true.

I want to know what other people think about marriage though, single, in a relationship, or already married I'd love to hear what anyone has to say.

 

[EminemTupacDrDre567]

I don't think I could date or marry someone if I knew I was going to do it. It would just hurt someone unnecessarily. Maybe finding love would change your mind about doing it. You never know, but I'm not that optimistic about it since there are a lot of people in this forum in loving relationships who still want to die. When you got bad enough depression, there doesn't seem like anything is going to fix it.

 

[CW36]

I had many chances to get married, but chose not to. In my mind, it wouldn't add anything to an already stable relationship, and in my country, a divorce is heavily in favour of the woman I.e it isn't worth the risk.

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i went as far as going through the ceremony. was incredibly attracted to her. never filed for it to be official. she just did not want to be with me. always wanted to go back to her sister's place. i could not not understand this. i don't think i was some disgusting creep. in fact her family wanted the marriage. i hope she is doing well.

 

[Ambivalent1]

Women initiate most divorces and get money, the house, and the children. Not worth it for men.

 

[F&Inside]

Hello everyone.
Exactly, with thoughts of leaving this world, I would never do it, for obvious reasons. But if I changed my mind, wanting to fight again, if I was sure that I wanted to fight until the end of my days, then I would certainly love it. If true love called me in these last conditions, I would marry her and give all the love and passion that is left inside of me to that person.
A beautiful dream.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I always wanted to get married. I had such an idealised fairytale vision of love. Not for the wedding itself. I'm a shy person- all that attention seems terrifying. More for the idea that you have a soulmate that you share your life with and love/support one another. It just never happened. I had all these ridiculous obsessive crushes on guys. (Limerance.) I think around the age of 40, I realised that I'm probably not built for all that now. I love my independence. I hate anything domestic. I'm actually content on my own too most of the time. I think my ideas around love and marriage are unrealistic. I only have to look and listen to the couples around me to see the reality and quite often, I find myself thinking- I'm glad that's not me!

 

[SN drinker]

I'm gonna skip the I'm ugly part and cut to the chase:

Marriage is incompatble with my neet life.
Sometimes I wake up at 4 AM, sometimes 8 PM. Then I sleep for... what? 1 hours? 15 hours? It's all random. Then I spend 5 to 15 hours eating, watching youtube & reading shit on the internet. What partner wants to live with an all-consuming meatbag like me? Neet life also means little money. It's embarrasing.

Now the autism:
Literally holding eye contact and my brain is already at 80% usage. Talking to people 90%, and going out for diner is 99%. Whenever I'm around people and getting I get even a little attention, there's a risk that my brain goes into meltdown. So the answer is, I find something like a wedding terrifying and having a partner that lives with you 24/7 absolutely horrifying.

And with meltdown I mean something like panic attacks but I'm not gonna get into detail with this one.

 

[foreverfalling]

Marriage is when you need a third party to enforce the commitment and promises between two people. Why is everyone and everything invited to a wedding ceremony when two people get married? It's not to celebrate their union, it's to make it official to their social circle so they will be pressured to stay together. And to that I thought how is that true love, or the soul mate kind of relationship I wanted? If I did find my soul mate who would love me and only me then why would I need to get married? We'd just be together and be content with each other.

I don't plan on getting married either. It means living the normie life and following all their rules. Not that I would even have the chance in the first place. No friends or any social worth means no one wanting marriage would choose me. I'm far too broken to follow the normie path now. As someone that wants to end their own life when practical, marriage would mean not fulfilling my commitment.

 

[conarc]

Marriage is just a stupid opportunity for the government to save money and pass responsibilities to the spouse. I was naive enough to get married early to narcissistic wife.

Now, I need to wait to even file for divorce with an unknown outcome. I cant even sell the house. Its so disgusting. In my opinion marriage violates human rights.

This shit and also religions and all this kind of stuff only serves big companies and governments to have as much as possible dependent consumers.

 

[Spiritual survivor]

Before the government got involved as a third party in marriage, it was not so corrupt. So the partners in the marriage could not benefit from divorce unfairly. Like women could not use the court system to destroy men financially or in some cases it's the woman but that occurs less often. There was a time when divorce happened but not like how it is now, where it's become more normalized. The government started no fault divorce in the 60's and this has contributed to alot of family breakup, was done on purpose to break up the family. Marriage did have a legit purpose, it was to have men and women cooperate in a civilized way. The guy provided for, and protected the woman and children he knew are his. Marriage helped ensure that children have a biological mother and father who are invested in them so they grow up being able to navigate life. Kids that come from single parent homes are often at a disadvantage b/c if the father is missing they will be poorer typically, and less able to navigate relationships with opposite sex once they get into adolescence. Marriage is primarily so that u bring people up in the safest environment possible with the most resources, at least when the society u live in allows people to prosper. Abuse happens far less in families where u have both biological parents stay together till the kids are old enough to navigate life.

 

[cats333]

As a general, i dont see marriage as something logical, if you love someone enough to marry them then why not just stay with them without papers stating u are together? not much would change really, but in personal experience i would not marry anyone because i know that i would not be able to be stable emotionally for that long

 

[WaffleWoman]

I don't really see the point of marriage if you like someone that much why must you spend thousands of dollars on some ceremony? There no need just continure dating them also makes splitting up easy if it has to happen

 

[cats333]

I don't really see the point of marriage if you like someone that much why must you spend thousands of dollars on some ceremony? There no need just continure dating them also makes splitting up easy if it has to happen

yess, getting a divorce is so complicated and u waste a bunch of money on it, why not just date... forever?

 

[ConstantPain]

I never wanted to get married but after 6 years together I was talked into it. I think he primarily wanted to have a big party.

We're still married 15 years later but neither of us is happy. I've realized that my preference would be to live alone with my cats and yes I know that would make me a crazy cat lady and I don't care. The problem is it's overwhelming to think about untangling ourselves from each other at this point, like who gets what. I can't afford to move out and don't have the energy to start packing. Deciding how to split up the cats feels impossible. If only I had stayed single in my own little place with all my own stuff! Life would be so much easier and maybe I wouldn't want to ctb so much.

I'm glad marriage works for some people but for me it's awful. The stress, the constant insults, the extra work, the obligated sex, all result in feeling completely trapped.

 

[front of me]

Marriage is fine, But is the relationship will continue this most important