Just sitting here about to go bed and honestly cry myself to sleep. I honestly wish I could talk to someone on here in real life, email or phone because you guys are the only ones who get it. I haven't really explored the site but I would love if their was meet up in my area. Every hotline I talk to they don't care, they have no real advice, or assholes.
I don't know about you but I had dreams. Big ones, little ones and were mostly failures or really didn't matter. Months ago I thought I could run my own bookkeeping business but man it's hard getting people to trust you with their finances (obviously I understand why). Well gave up on that and now I slave away at Walmart with an asshole for a boss that no one will fire. I say I have pretty thick skin because I literally faced death a year ago. Gun to my head, wasn't able to buy alcohol to make it better, thinking about my loved ones I'd be leaving behind. I couldn't do it obviously.
Nights like this suck so bad. Ultimately I just want to be valuable to someone you know? I don't know what career to pursue and I'm honest with myself. I'm average intelligence and unmotivated. If anyone has heard of it the program I was in is called bookkeeper business launch. Learned a lot, kinda like to act as an advisor/friend as well as bookkeeping. Well I don't care what the founder and the facebook community say this profession is being automated. Fast. Pretty fucking stupid to go into it but anyway....
Most of the time I'm comfortable being alone but not now. I just hate myself, my life and don't know what to do about anything. The shit that is my life, the world, etc. I don't know. The job as a stocker is whatever it's pretty fitting for me but man I don't deserve an asshole that is my boss. This is why I stuck around? Really? Being my own boss and having my own virtual business was what kept me going.
Always wanted to be a therapist actually and even tried to volunteer/get a job at a chatline/hotline but no they don't want me. I actually fucking care! Fuck everything.
Appreciate any thoughts or whatever just want someone to acknowledge my bullshit. I truly think this site (as sad as it is) is something special and I thought the same when most of us were on reddit. The fact is the normies don't want to acknowledge how shitty life is and want us to "get over it". Fuck them and everything.
I don't know about you but I had dreams. Big ones, little ones and were mostly failures or really didn't matter. Months ago I thought I could run my own bookkeeping business but man it's hard getting people to trust you with their finances (obviously I understand why). Well gave up on that and now I slave away at Walmart with an asshole for a boss that no one will fire. I say I have pretty thick skin because I literally faced death a year ago. Gun to my head, wasn't able to buy alcohol to make it better, thinking about my loved ones I'd be leaving behind. I couldn't do it obviously.
Nights like this suck so bad. Ultimately I just want to be valuable to someone you know? I don't know what career to pursue and I'm honest with myself. I'm average intelligence and unmotivated. If anyone has heard of it the program I was in is called bookkeeper business launch. Learned a lot, kinda like to act as an advisor/friend as well as bookkeeping. Well I don't care what the founder and the facebook community say this profession is being automated. Fast. Pretty fucking stupid to go into it but anyway....
Most of the time I'm comfortable being alone but not now. I just hate myself, my life and don't know what to do about anything. The shit that is my life, the world, etc. I don't know. The job as a stocker is whatever it's pretty fitting for me but man I don't deserve an asshole that is my boss. This is why I stuck around? Really? Being my own boss and having my own virtual business was what kept me going.
Always wanted to be a therapist actually and even tried to volunteer/get a job at a chatline/hotline but no they don't want me. I actually fucking care! Fuck everything.
Appreciate any thoughts or whatever just want someone to acknowledge my bullshit. I truly think this site (as sad as it is) is something special and I thought the same when most of us were on reddit. The fact is the normies don't want to acknowledge how shitty life is and want us to "get over it". Fuck them and everything.
Last edited:
