Honestly, I would personaly abandon this attempt because you really need to know this method well to get it to work- there is too much risk of becoming a vegetable. For this method you should read on lots of threads and research this on the internet a lot. Your post makes it clear that there is much that you don't know about this method. There is also a high risk that someone will notice and you will get an involuntary hospitalization, which is a terrible experience for most depressed people, it's just a way for doctors and hospitals to cash in in most cases- I'm sure they help some people, though. Your chance of success with this attempt is almost nothing because you don't understand the method. I hope you can find peace somehow, but a rushed, unplanned attempt will likely just make your life worse.