O

onelastride

Member
Jul 20, 2020
13
Between the endless daily torture and chronic pain that is my life, and the dissociative/socially anxious "I don't belong here and I'm scared" nightmare that has been my cognitive perception for far too long now, despite this, I feel there is always this part of me that wants to fight back and try my hardest to heal myself naturally through diet and biomedical science to restore my physical health, and pursue something as extreme as neuroscience to retrieve my naturally healthy state of mind/identity and sense of belonging in this world again (because that's seriously would I think it would take). I know this would miraculously heal so many other sufferers of this sort of thing in this world as well, and I'd also pursue as many mental health professionals I can to stabilize my dissociative, self destructive disorder along the way. I guess this is that last 1% in me that's always like, wtf man, and knows my true worth talking, before my life fell completely apart. This is what kept me alive the first time I had N, before it was confiscated and I was committed.

I'm thinking about taking up surfing, and trying to become a professional surfer as my money maker while I do everything else mentioned above, because it is naturally healing as you are grounded to the Earth and then receptive to its abundantly healing, negatively charged electrons. Two birds with one stone kind of thing, and I know I'd be a passion of mine as well.
 
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