Venting On so much medication due to my job

[BaconCheeseburger]

By this point I'm the world's most emotionally broken record, going on and on and on about my fucking job.

I'm now on a rotation of three different types of medication to be taken at different points in the day. All to control symptoms I have as a result of my shitty job. I wish I could just quit but then I've got the joys of unemployment and explaining in interviews why I left. I've got an interview tomorrow and all I feel is dread because I don't feel good enough. This current job is dragging me into the ground and I feel worthless.

I just want someone to talk to. I hate fishing for attention but I'm really at a loose end and I feel like such a bad friend to my IRL best friend who has to put up with this every time I speak to him.

I know I'm not a special case, we're all here because we want to or are considering dying, but I'd like to think that you know how isolating being like this is. I'm just fed up of crying at night and waking up feeling anxiety the second I wake up.

I don't know where to turn to, or if I should go back on antidepressants or what. That would be another set of pills to take and this decline in my health is breaking me down.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. Work takes up so much of our time that when it goes badly it literally takes over our lives and it feels like all we do is get up, feel sick, go to work and stress all day, come home and stress about the following day and repeat.

Are you on any medication that helps reduce the anxiety/ stress symptoms?

There is no shame in going back to Anti-depressants if you feel you need them and they worked before. Maybe a dr appointment is a good idea. Can you get signed off a few days and get some thinking time?

X

 

[waived]

Work needs way more people shit talking it carry on.

I'm in a similar situation looking for work and not feeling well enough to do interviews.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

Are you on any medication that helps reduce the anxiety/ stress symptoms?

There is no shame in going back to Anti-depressants if you feel you need them and they worked before. Maybe a dr appointment is a good idea. Can you get signed off a few days and get some thinking time?

X

So I've got IBS medication for the anxiety related issues
A year's worth of coldsore meds I have to take daily because the herpes virus is taking advantage of my weakened immune system
Also got Pregabalin for anxiety

I have to take these at so many points in the day; the second I wake up, an hour before meals, whenever I'm anticipating stress and just before I go to sleep to try to reduce the anxiety I feel in the morning. Rinse and repeat.

Noone around me apart from my friend is seeing quite how bad I'm feeling.I've just booked a phone consultation with my GP to discuss antidepressants. I could sign off sick, but then when I come back my team would hate me because we're understaffed as it is. It's all related.

Thanks for listening to me, you have no idea how much I need people to acknowledge that I'm not feeling okay xx

 

[Exile]

I can relate, even though I have a job many people would envy. I burned out completely months ago and the physical symptoms were awful - some of them are still with me. I have returned to work but much of the time I want to flee and never return. I have talked with colleagues going through pretty much the same thing and we feel abandoned by our employer. I'm on a lot of medication and the only thing I can say about it is that I feel even worse when I stop any of it. A lot of other people think I'm functioning well but I'm really not.

 

[JustAboutDone]

I could sign off sick, but then when I come back my team would hate me because we're understaffed as it is. It's all related.

That's practically the worst bit isn't it - almost being held to ransom as the overall employer is not competent at understanding staffing levels. So even if you're sick, you can't have time off as you end up getting more work and a lousy atmosphere for yourself xx

 

[Final Escape]

By this point I'm the world's most emotionally broken record, going on and on and on about my fucking job.

I'm now on a rotation of three different types of medication to be taken at different points in the day. All to control symptoms I have as a result of my shitty job. I wish I could just quit but then I've got the joys of unemployment and explaining in interviews why I left. I've got an interview tomorrow and all I feel is dread because I don't feel good enough. This current job is dragging me into the ground and I feel worthless.

I just want someone to talk to. I hate fishing for attention but I'm really at a loose end and I feel like such a bad friend to my IRL best friend who has to put up with this every time I speak to him.

I know I'm not a special case, we're all here because we want to or are considering dying, but I'd like to think that you know how isolating being like this is. I'm just fed up of crying at night and waking up feeling anxiety the second I wake up.

I don't know where to turn to, or if I should go back on antidepressants or what. That would be another set of pills to take and this decline in my health is breaking me down.

What sort of expenses do u have right now? I know you are trying to stick out but I really think based on the level of misery and stress this is putting on u, that you really should quit. It's not worth this much pain. Everybody is different and not everyone can handle certain environments or conditions at work. Is there anything you like doing that you are good at? That people compliment u on? Hobbies, or stuff u like to do that might be useful to other people? I was also trying to come up with ideas on how I can make a job or remain self employed somehow. I don't care if it doesn't pay that great as long as I have some control over my work conditions. I swear I never want to work for anybody again unless the conditions are pretty good, but good luck with that. Don't go on more meds, the meds might actually hurt u in long run. It's hard to leave a job but your well being matters more than that job. Do u have friends, family, or live alone and nobody else to help out?

 

[Dead_Inside]

By this point I'm the world's most emotionally broken record, going on and on and on about my fucking job.

I'm now on a rotation of three different types of medication to be taken at different points in the day. All to control symptoms I have as a result of my shitty job. I wish I could just quit but then I've got the joys of unemployment and explaining in interviews why I left. I've got an interview tomorrow and all I feel is dread because I don't feel good enough. This current job is dragging me into the ground and I feel worthless.

I just want someone to talk to. I hate fishing for attention but I'm really at a loose end and I feel like such a bad friend to my IRL best friend who has to put up with this every time I speak to him.

I know I'm not a special case, we're all here because we want to or are considering dying, but I'd like to think that you know how isolating being like this is. I'm just fed up of crying at night and waking up feeling anxiety the second I wake up.

I don't know where to turn to, or if I should go back on antidepressants or what. That would be another set of pills to take and this decline in my health is breaking me down.

Fuck. Seriously that is just the worst. I literally had to quit my full time job this past summer when I failed my suicide attempt. I spent 6 months unemployed. I am barely able to get to my part time job now.... I don't see a therapist or anything because I was denied prior to dec. But I am sure I should be on meds....honestly they should hospitalize me. Anyway I can in my own tiny way, understand the job thing. Indeed to quit my part time job already- I am not ok to do this shit. But I get myself into work by telling myself that I will buy a gun with the money and then I can be free.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

What sort of expenses do u have right now?

Is there anything you like doing that you are good at? That people compliment u on? Hobbies, or stuff u like to do that might be useful to other people?

Don't go on more meds, the meds might actually hurt u in long run. It's hard to leave a job but your well being matters more than that job. Do u have friends, family, or live alone and nobody else to help out?

I live with my parents still because I'm not warning enough to move out, so if I quit I definitely wouldn't be in trouble regarding living, eating etc etc. I sat down with my family this morning and we discussed sick leave for me, but I need to check my contract as I'm still in the 3 month probation period until March (I only joined in December).

I don't really have hobbies, just the usual Netflix, shopping, going for drinks in the evening. I see myself as really low down in the social hierarchy. I've got tons of skills that would be useful to other employers like average computer skills and foreign language skills.

I have my family and a few friends for support and they know I'm having a shit time. I'm considering antidepressants because I've been on them before, it wouldn't be a new thing that I don't know the effects of.

Thanks for replying xx

 

[ArtsyDrawer]

I feel you there, even if my medical cocktail isn't as large and flavorful. Same story, pretty much nothing to add in that regard.
You're not alone out there. Of you need an ear, I'm here.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Bacon I wish there was a way for you to release some of that pressure. I really admire you for attempting to keep up in a work environment but it sounds like you suffer so much. I would love to see you take some time off and just unwind for a while. It sounds like it might be feasible to take a break in March and maybe even take a short holiday or something. I feel conflicted typing that, because it sounds like I'm encouraging you to give in. But that's not the case. I just feel like there's no work situation that's worth this big a toll on your wellbeing.

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

Bacon I wish there was a way for you to release some of that pressure. I really admire you for attempting to keep up in a work environment but it sounds like you suffer so much. I would love to see you take some time off and just unwind for a while. It sounds like it might be feasible to take a break in March and maybe even take a short holiday or something. I feel conflicted typing that, because it sounds like I'm encouraging you to give in. But that's not the case. I just feel like there's no work situation that's worth this big a toll on your wellbeing.

I need to read my contract for sick leave details, especially as I'm still in the first three months of probation. Definitely considering it though. Got a phone consultation with my doctor in a few mins.

I had a meeting yesterday about vacancies coming up with another company and Oh My God they were so professional and the complete opposite of what I'm working with now. I felt like such an idiot because it's the same industry as the one I'm in and they asked me questions about my experience and training and this job has given me so little of what is expected as standard.

I also got pulled aside by my manager the other day who said 'I don't seem like myself'. I tell them I'm overworked and it's affecting me at home and all I get is 'you shouldn't be taking work stress home with you', along with some pseudo formal chat. People have told me it's not normal to feel stressed once you leave work at the end of the day and I don't understand why I can't just 'drop it' after 5pm like everyone else does. It makes me feel stupid.

I might book a Friday off soon so I get a 3 day weekend, just to have that extra day to breathe.

 

[JustAboutDone]

That's a good idea - have the Friday off, give you the shorter working week. Good luck with the dr phone call

 

[BaconCheeseburger]

That's a good idea - have the Friday off, give you the shorter working week. Good luck with the dr phone call

I've just checked, my 'probationary period' is 6 months (!!), I thought it was 3! I also don't get sick pay during probation. Doesn't mean I can't take it though.

I spoke the doctor before. He asked if I had thoughts of self harm. I was honest, I said yes I am suicidal but I'm too exhausted to even begin to do anything towards it so I'm not a high/active risk. He's suggested blood tests to rule out anything else that could be giving me grief. We discussed antidepressants as well.

I guess even if I feel like shit I'm taking steps to at least say I tried to do something about it. Even if it doesn't help.

 

[JustAboutDone]

Oh damn :-(
Well as you say - doesn't mean you can't take it, even if it has to be unpaid.

If you can get a couple of Fridays and Mondays off here and there to shorten the week that may help.

I'm glad the dr suggested blood tests, its good to rule out anything that may be making you feel physically worse, and it feels like you are taking control of a rubbish situation xx

 

[Going Home]

I need to read my contract for sick leave details, especially as I'm still in the first three months of probation. Definitely considering it though. Got a phone consultation with my doctor in a few mins.

I had a meeting yesterday about vacancies coming up with another company and Oh My God they were so professional and the complete opposite of what I'm working with now. I felt like such an idiot because it's the same industry as the one I'm in and they asked me questions about my experience and training and this job has given me so little of what is expected as standard.

I also got pulled aside by my manager the other day who said 'I don't seem like myself'. I tell them I'm overworked and it's affecting me at home and all I get is 'you shouldn't be taking work stress home with you', along with some pseudo formal chat. People have told me it's not normal to feel stressed once you leave work at the end of the day and I don't understand why I can't just 'drop it' after 5pm like everyone else does. It makes me feel stupid.

I might book a Friday off soon so I get a 3 day weekend, just to have that extra day to breathe.

It's good that at least you have a contract with specifics and have had interactions and know exactly who your manager is.
I hate when everything is a guessing game even the job description.