vonvonwantpeace

vonvonwantpeace

Specialist
Jul 26, 2019
331
At the moment 8 most of the time it was 5. But it was still there, I felt it.
 
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Dazedandconfused32

Dazedandconfused32

She was the worlds biggest mistake
Jun 16, 2019
215
9 and the mornings are my best time of day
 
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khw777

khw777

Just trying to catch a bus!
Oct 18, 2019
235
15
 
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metalchic_74

metalchic_74

Gone Girl
Oct 26, 2019
260
10 I hate my life
 
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M

Moon Flower

I'll soon be sleeping sound
Oct 14, 2019
536
10 easy peasy
 
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Crystal Labeija

Crystal Labeija

Experienced
Jun 3, 2019
216
Given that I want to end my life because of it, I think I'm justified in giving it a 10.
 
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Squiddy

Squiddy

Here Lies My Hopes And Dreams
Sep 4, 2019
5,903
Right now, it's a 8
 
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SuicidalSymphonies

SuicidalSymphonies

I think I'll take a dirt nap.
Oct 13, 2019
1,028
10 every day. Nonstop.
 
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S

SerenitySeeker

Member
Jun 28, 2019
84
10+
 
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CrushedHopes

CrushedHopes

Ex-narcissist that is looking to end himself soon
Nov 3, 2019
471
It's hard to give my current state a rating. I am making preparations to off myself because I am stripped of my entire future. Yet, I feel at peace and I don't dread death. In fact, I am looking forward to it. I still have the energy to do stuff, just like before. I feel comfortable with the fact that I get to choose when I will be exiting the mortal realm. So.... I guess you could say that I am not depressed. It's odd for a suicidal person to say such things, but that's how I feel.
 
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Life+me=error

Life+me=error

Warlock
May 22, 2019
736
Depends on the time of the day.
It varies from 6 to 10 for me.
 
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R

Roberto

Wizard
Jan 19, 2019
684
5 I think. 6.
Good days for me.
The worst is when I'm stressed. And the last months have been quiet in that front.
There are puntual situations in which I would say 7. And when I'm stressed 8.
I started to take medication 2 months ago. I think it helps a bit to confront depression. But it's not a miracle of relief.
 
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6000qqq

6000qqq

Member
May 13, 2019
24
Changes throughout the day but usually stays within the 3 to 7 category.
 
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deathbyginger

deathbyginger

Student
Oct 24, 2019
114
Definitely changes day-by-day. But I tend to hover around a 7.
 
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woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
-10. In the situation I am in, it'd be normal to be crying day and night, no libido, no nothing. But, I am pretty OK apart from the fact I don't know how many more days I will live. I should go to a shrink just to befuddle them and enjoy their frustration.
 
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Wayfaerer

Wayfaerer

JFMSUF
Aug 21, 2019
1,938
I cannot do anything without self-medicating anymore and I'm aware my doom in the near future is a certainty, so a 10. Never below an 8 for sure.
 
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AnxiouslyDepressed

AnxiouslyDepressed

Stuck- the guilt of leaving or the pain of staying
Nov 8, 2019
149
For the last few days an easy 8-10, fluctuations throughout the day. Now i'm at around 4-5, still considering what method to ctb thinking exit bag over SN
 
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T

TimeToBiteTheDust

Visionary
Nov 7, 2019
2,322
5. Sometimes I feel life's worth living and sometimes I want to die.
 
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AnxiouslyDepressed

AnxiouslyDepressed

Stuck- the guilt of leaving or the pain of staying
Nov 8, 2019
149
5. Sometimes I feel life's worth living and sometimes I want to die.

Usually the same boat mate, however this past week has been a constant need to find a way out, hence I found this site. No Pro-Lifer, but hope today is one of your better days, as I wouldn't want anyone to feel the pain and stress experienced on the days you want to die (which is why I want to ctb, that and I have nothing to live for anymore)
 
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RestingGirl23

RestingGirl23

Member
Nov 2, 2019
55
Like others, most days is a 5. My worst days are a solid 8. I've actually been dreaming about ctb for some nights now. I keep a diary on when I have suicidal thoughts and they seem to be getting more frequent and worse.
 
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J

JSauter

Experienced
Oct 14, 2019
207
10. Nearly non-functional
 
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cowbain

cowbain

teach me empathy
Jul 16, 2019
143
Like 100? Maybe more. I've lost everything but most importantly I've lost myself. Nothing brings me joy anymore, not even my interests. My cognitive function keeps getting worse. I've lived an isolated life for years now, and as the time keeps passing by I've noticed that it's even more difficult to form connections with people. My therapists are the only people I can go to for help and talk to irl, and even they aren't taking me seriously and are half assed doing their job :/ The only thing that brings me some sort of contentment is the thought of dying. Hopefully this will all be over soon.
 
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Essence

Essence

Nothingness is the beginning of Everything.
Nov 7, 2019
203
Lately an 8. The oil is very thick and bleak atm. Interestingly I went from a 2 to a 9 in 8 hours :aw: I thought to myself, how could I have felt those good things, and then to plummet to planning my cbt again. 'sigh'
 
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AnxiouslyDepressed

AnxiouslyDepressed

Stuck- the guilt of leaving or the pain of staying
Nov 8, 2019
149
Lately an 8. The oil is very thick and bleak atm. Interestingly I went from a 2 to a 9 in 8 hours :aw: I thought to myself, how could I have felt those good things, and then to plummet to planning my cbt again. 'sigh'

I, too, some days go from a 1 through to a 8, always open to a PM if you need to talk (no Pro-Lifer here, but know you're not alone - those days can be rough)
 
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D

Deltrus

Member
Mar 20, 2019
65
My suffering is at like an 8 that spikes to 10. I'm not sure if that is depression, feels just like pure suffering. I have CFS and only have enough energy to stay in my bed 23 hours a day most days. I get a LOT of terrible sensations from my body, similar to pain but not really.
 
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Astral316

Astral316

Specialist
Aug 26, 2019
332
I feel good because I'm going to ctb soon, so I barely rank. Maybe a 3 during late morning/early afternoon.
 
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MeltingHeart

MeltingHeart

Visionary
Sep 9, 2019
2,151
Like 100? Maybe more. I've lost everything but most importantly I've lost myself. Nothing brings me joy anymore, not even my interests. My cognitive function keeps getting worse. I've lived an isolated life for years now, and as the time keeps passing by I've noticed that it's even more difficult to form connections with people. My therapists are the only people I can go to for help and talk to irl, and even they aren't taking me seriously and are half assed doing their job :/ The only thing that brings me some sort of contentment is the thought of dying. Hopefully this will all be over soon.
Like 100? Maybe more. I've lost everything but most importantly I've lost myself. Nothing brings me joy anymore, not even my interests. My cognitive function keeps getting worse. I've lived an isolated life for years now, and as the time keeps passing by I've noticed that it's even more difficult to form connections with people. My therapists are the only people I can go to for help and talk to irl, and even they aren't taking me seriously and are half assed doing their job :/ The only thing that brings me some sort of contentment is the thought of dying. Hopefully this will all be over soon.
never know if it's weird to 'like' a post as this, obvs don't like yr situation. But hopefully it also can function as a way to say - I also feel the same way.
Was gonna say 11 but others have also gone above 10 ... so yeah 10+
 
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Wreck-it-Riley

Wreck-it-Riley

My demon will see me undone
Oct 20, 2019
269
Spinal tap for life, its cranked to 11.

With BPD, i can fluctuate hourly. but my background depression never goes below a 7. This exact second i am an 8. But i woke up to a boy in my bed and that is always amazing.