Older post divorce

[jackrussell023]

Been a bit of a lurker over the lastvyear, but decided to join up and participate.

I'm wondering who's here who is older and post awful divorce process (20yr marriage)

Ex blamed me for it all, but realise she was the controlling manipulating one and my actions she disliked were in response to her shit.

I've spent last 2 years in a negative space with no real positive direction, along with work being shit too - lots of drinking at lunch time to pass the time away. As such not sure how I can continue over the coming festive period, esp given ex has convinced my sons to spend Xmas with her family for the 2nd year in a row.

Thinking about going out bush over Xmas new year period to find that bus. Just need to determine best method.

 

[casual_existence]

Goddamn. So sorry for your situation. I hope you can find your answer

 

[jackrussell023]

Goddamn. So sorry for your situation. I hope you can find your answer

Thanks @casual_existence. Not sure what my answer is really.

I didn't mention that whilst we married just after uni, she believed she was the better parent and deserved 70-80% of our assets, egged on by her friends. Fortunately my lawyer was better than hers and landed on pretty much 5050.

I believe inside that I'm worthless and no one would want to hangout with me (ex reinforced this for 20yrs). For my entire life I'm always forgotten about when it comes to parties etc regardless of whether I get along with people at work etc

 

[ropearoundatree]

She sounds like a NARC. Sorry buddy! Wish this didn't have to happen to you...

 

[Life_and_Death]

im not really older and am more so mid divorce. but i still get what youre saying

 

[jackrussell023]

She sounds like a NARC. Sorry buddy! Wish this didn't have to happen to you...

Yeah, I've come to that conclusion. She also has a strong Christian belief, but everything she did during marriage and especially divorce process was not consistent with that faith, being extremelt selfish and wanting to destroy me. she appeared to overlord her belief as being superior than me.

im not really older and am more so mid divorce. but i still get what youre saying

I partly wish that I came to realisation earlier and either not married or divorced early before her shit embedded strongly within me as it's so hard to overcome.

 

[HighFlight]

Hello @jackrussell023, there are a few older people on the site, including myself. I've been married for over 25 years, and it might be coming to an end. That's still to be decided, as I'm concerned about the wellbeing of my adult children. For the same reason, I've put off any bus trips for myself in the near future.

The holidays are difficult, but I do what I always done - pretend everything is OK and bury any real feelings. I was good at it until a few years ago. Now, it's getting harder as time goes on.

I hope you find what you're looking for.