Discussion oki well i ordered sn online

[sillyprincessmeow]

okay so i ordered it online but im kind of scared. i hope it doesnt get flagged, ive seen some users say that it wouldnt be delivered to residential areas but i hope mine works. It was 222 dollars for it (plus my investing round up making it 223 but thats besides the point.)
"The angel number 222 is often interpreted as a sign of balance, harmony, and faith. It suggests that you are on the right path and that your angels are supporting your journey. It also encourages you to trust your intuition, maintain a positive attitude, and have faith that things will work out for the best"

• Balance and Harmony:
  222 is a reminder to find equilibrium in all aspects of your life, including work, relationships, and personal well-being.
  

• Faith and Trust:
  Seeing 222 can be a nudge to trust the process of life and have faith that things are unfolding as they should.
  

• Intuition:
  It's a sign to pay attention to your inner voice and trust your gut feelings when making decisions.
  

• Relationships:
  222 can indicate a positive shift in your relationships, whether it's a strengthening bond or the potential for new connections.
  

• Manifestation:
  It can also be a sign that your manifestations are coming to fruition, so maintain a positive mindset and continue working towards your goals.
  

• New Beginnings:
  For some, 222 may signify a new chapter or a fresh start in life.
  

• Twin Flames:
  Some interpretations associate 222 with twin flame relationships, suggesting a strong and significant connection.
  

I wonder if it could mean anything.
oh wow. 5:46 pm. my 39.26 dollar check just came in. great. My life is shit. I cant wait for my sn to come. I dont wanna die at all but i hate myself too much to live. I tried so many times and im gonna make this one final i hope! Might chicken out but at least ill have it.. shelf life is long.. im praying it works. Otherwise im gonna kill myself. Lol thats funny but uh yeah ill just have to overdose on xanax or fake percs… >: not my ideal choice.. anyway uh.. yeah
my life sucks. i cant wait to escape this hell. i hopeeeee it works! I just need to get the rest of the shits, pain killer.. antiemetic ?? , antiacid.. a bunch of bullshit.
You know.. i really dont wanna die. Im so scared to. Im so selfish. I just want people to see how rare i am, special, how lovely i am. I just want to be cherished. I want people to regret not loving me more. im literally insane wtf is wrong with me

 

[locked*n*loaded]

You keep saying multiple times in your post that you don't want to die. Have you tried getting help? Like really tried?

 

[sillyprincessmeow]

You keep saying multiple times in your post that you don't want to die. Have you tried getting help? Like really tried?

Yeah ive tried different therapists, ill never go on medication because im scared of the government one day fishing out those deemed unreliable or mentally unstable/incompetent. Ive tried the basics of taking care of myself, spreading love to my community, and seeking connections that matter. In the end i feel empty and my life always completely does a 180 and i get traumatized even more. I hate myself too much to be alive and i see so reason to stay. I want to live but only if its perfect. I just see no use or reason to stay. All i do is get high and starve myself. Im a terrible person and deserve to die anyway.