Venting Obsessed and possessive over anyone who gives her attention

[m1v]

hi, I have this huge issue, which prevents me from being happy with anyone. I have this disgusting habit of being obsessed and possessive with people who give me the slightest interest. I'm sick and tired of obsessing over people I'll know will leave me eventually. Grew up in a shitty household, I've been loveless all my life, being appreciated and loved feels very warm, when it's genuine.

The worst thing I've done is probably sticking a person's drawings all over my walls..it's not that bad, right..

I'm on some psychotic level of devotion to a love interest, another reason to ctb, and get rid of my existence. Life's not worth living in the first place, my obsessions are just adding to it. I have never lived for myself, I have always lived for someone else. I'm sickening, I'm lovesick, very tired

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm sorry you experience this. Someone else has coincidentally just mentioned the term limerance. Have you heard of it? It describes an obsessive form of love. I'd recommend you check out the YouTube channel: 'The Crappy Childhood Fairy.' She talks about it.

Main thing is though- try to be kind to yourself and forgive yourself. We can't help feeling this way. As you yourself have identified- you grew up in a harsh environment. I think that's how these things often develop. Natural really- why wouldn't we gravitate towards something we needed but didn't get when we were young?

I think it actually helped me to know (or- decide- I'm self diagnosed) that I am prone to limerance. It makes it feel less real when I do start convincing myself I am in love with someone. I'm more able to keep myself in check- because, limerance has really done me no favours in life. I'm sorry you are suffering.

 

[NoLoveNoHope]

I feel you, broke up with my lover in january - despite what everyone said I have not gotten over her. I'm getting lovesick too, it's a real pain. I've been called a yandere since my devotion goes above all else like morality, identity and pretty much everything else. You can PM me if you want to let some of it out to someone with similar feelings/experiences.

It's really hard to cope with that as you're seen as weird, creepy or a stalker even if your intentions are of good. I hope things can get better for you.

 

[m1v]

I'm sorry you experience this. Someone else has coincidentally just mentioned the term limerance. Have you heard of it? It describes an obsessive form of love. I'd recommend you check out the YouTube channel: 'The Crappy Childhood Fairy.' She talks about it.

Main thing is though- try to be kind to yourself and forgive yourself. We can't help feeling this way. As you yourself have identified- you grew up in a harsh environment. I think that's how these things often develop. Natural really- why wouldn't we gravitate towards something we needed but didn't get when we were young?

I think it actually helped me to know (or- decide- I'm self diagnosed) that I am prone to limerance. It makes it feel less real when I do start convincing myself I am in love with someone. I'm more able to keep myself in check- because, limerance has really done me no favours in life. I'm sorry you are suffering.

Thank you for sharing your experience with me. I'll look into it. Honestly my obsessions kicks-in at the worst time possible sometimes. It almost feels like it's another person inside me who's feeling that way, it makes me sick and tired of having to deal with this person or 'myself' in other words..I hope this voice could disappear, and if it's mine, then I hope i can disappear soon.

I feel you, broke up with my lover in january - despite what everyone said I have not gotten over her. I'm getting lovesick too, it's a real pain. I've been called a yandere since my devotion goes above all else like morality, identity and pretty much everything else. You can PM me if you want to let some of it out to someone with similar feelings/experiences.

It's really hard to cope with that as you're seen as weird, creepy or a stalker even if your intentions are of good. I hope things can get better for you.

Thank you for replying to my thread, I appreciate it. I hope you get better over time, it sucks I think, a breakup. I've never been in a relationship before but I know how it feels when somebody leaves you. Being interpreted the wrong way is probably what causes everything. Not showing love in an 'ordinary' way.

 

[FuneralCry]

It must be tiring and painful feeling trapped in that situation, life really is just so unnecessarily cruel but anyway best wishes.

 

[User00]

Well I'd find it flattering if someone put my art up on there wall im not gonna lie, had a friend make a colage of all my drawings and they printed it out(not sure if they did but they said they wanted to) i found it quiet cute! they werent a obsessive or possesive. And im glad i had made drawings for them and that we were friends but no longer talk now which im sad about i do miss them a lot.

 

[m1v]

Well I'd find it flattering if someone put my art up on there wall im not gonna lie, had a friend make a colage of all my drawings and they printed it out(not sure if they did but they said they wanted to) i found it quiet cute! they werent a obsessive or possesive. And im glad i had made drawings for them and that we were friends but no longer talk now which im sad about i do miss them a lot.

That's cool that they weren't obsessive nor possessive with you, unfortunately, that's not my case. I really don't want to hurt anyone, hiding this feeling is extremely uncomfortable, chest hurts, headache, feeling very hot. I'm insane and lame. I wonder if I can be fixed.

I want to scar their name on my thighs, I want them to know how much I appreciate their existence. The only reason holding me back from doing so, is that I am against inflicting pain over myself, I'm in enough pain already.

 

[maybemonday]

Oh boy, this describes me so much. I become insanely attached to people when they show me any affection. I've destroyed so many relationships because I got too clingy and possessive. I don't know how to stop this

 

[strawberryjampan]

That's cool that they weren't obsessive nor possessive with you, unfortunately, that's not my case. I really don't want to hurt anyone, hiding this feeling is extremely uncomfortable, chest hurts, headache, feeling very hot. I'm insane and lame. I wonder if I can be fixed.

I want to scar their name on my thighs, I want them to know how much I appreciate their existence. The only reason holding me back from doing so, is that I am against inflicting pain over myself, I'm in enough pain already.

Scarring someone's name on your thighs doesn't make anyone reasonable appreciate your existence. It lets them know that you're unhinged and best to be avoided.

 

[m1v]

Scarring someone's name on your thighs doesn't make anyone reasonable appreciate your existence. It lets them know that you're unhinged and best to be avoided.

Not like I wasn't unhinged and mentally ill in the first place. That I do it or not, they're already going to avoid me, even if I'm sane. I'm not always like that, sometimes it kicks in, this possessive feeling, and I hate myself for that. Thanks for your reply.

 

[vacuisme]

Hi
just wanted to say that i relate to pretty much everything u said in the thread and that so u are not alone (+ we r both dg fans Lol shits might be correlated)
I talked a lot about this situation to a friend of mine and she told me that i might have BPD
After reading a lot about it I really think that this the source of the problem, a lot of behaviours that u described in the thread and that I do too really fits with the typical behaviours of someone that has Borderline Personnality Disorders
Now I can't really be sure in my case because I never got diagnosed with any mental disorders (surely because I have a bad habit of minimizing my problems when im talking to a psychiatrist)
Have u ever been diagnosed with BPD? Or with something similar?

 

[m1v]

Hi
just wanted to say that i relate to pretty much everything u said in the thread and that so u are not alone (+ we r both dg fans Lol shits might be correlated)
I talked a lot about this situation to a friend of mine and she told me that i might have BPD
After reading a lot about it I really think that this the source of the problem, a lot of behaviours that u described in the thread and that I do too really fits with the typical behaviours of someone that has Borderline Personnality Disorders
Now I can't really be sure in my case because I never got diagnosed with any mental disorders (surely because I have a bad habit of minimizing my problems when im talking to a psychiatrist)
Have u ever been diagnosed with BPD? Or with something similar?

hi, nice. drain gang is fucking fire right lol.
I've never been diagnosed with BPD, I tend to not talk a lot about my emotions too, since it's very uncomfortable. I've only been diagnosed with OCD, anxiety, depression and that's it. I'm well aware that this type of behavior is not normal, and I should get checked for it. It doesn't really matter since I'm supposed to be gone pretty soon though. That aside, I'm currently not affected by this obsessiveness right now. I have my moments.

 

[SadJessu]

I also have suffered with this. My ex was literally my identity for 12 or 13 years. Since our breakup I've had difficulty in figuring out who I am, plus intense anger at myself for pursuing someone who would end up abusing me. I stayed so long because I had this fantasy playing out in my mind about us, but it was just that, fantasy.

I love my new husband with a deeper intensity, because unlike my ex, he actually genuinely loves back. That being said, I don't think that anyone can love me as much as I love them, I've come to accept that. I love deeply. I love hard. It must be smothering.

 

[Haruka]

Hi, I am very similar to this. I grew up with little to no love, and if anybody pays me attention I'm literally all over them. I am aware (now) of how unhealthy it is, and I want to stop but I can't. I'm open to talking about this if you are, but if not then all I can hope is you find somebody who loves you for who you are (harder than it sounds, I know) and will give you the same attention back.

 

[Venus13]

We develop different attachment styles when we grow up in bad environments. Our caretakers neglecting/abusing us carries its weight. It's completely human. Be good to yourself in the time you have.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I remember when if any person of the opposite sex gave me attention whether it was a store clerk, or a waitress, I'd always dream up imaginary scenarios of them being interested in me. I was/am extremely cringe so that was unrealistic.

I don't have any advice to give you, but I relate. Attention and validation is something I was not used to and I did not know how to feel about it.

 

[m1v]

I remember when if any person of the opposite sex gave me attention whether it was a store clerk, or a waitress, I'd always dream up imaginary scenarios of them being interested in me. I was/am extremely cringe so that was unrealistic.

I don't have any advice to give you, but I relate. Attention and validation is something I was not used to and I did not know how to feel about it.

Hm, I see. In my case, their gender doesn't really change anything.

I guess I'm just slightly more attracted to men but that doesn't really affect anything, since my attachment isn't necessarily romantic or has any romantic feelings in it.