Today I saw an obituary for a local 16 year old year old boy. His obituary was fairly long, and he seemed to check all the boxes for having an active and happy life. But at the very end it said his parents requested donations to the Suicide Prevention Foundation in lieu of flowers. Have you ever known someone like that who ctb?
Yes, I knew if a kid a few grades below me. He was in sports, had lots of friends, had full ride scholarships, senior year of highschool, top of his class, whole 9 yards. Then a week before his graduation, I get news that he went out to his dad's shed and put a gun to his head and pulled the trigger. It shocked everyone. This was 15+ years ago though.
Some people give no signs, others give a lot of signs. It's just when it's not expected, it shocks people a little more, understandably. I didn't know him too well, but still had interacted with him on a few occasions. Seemed like a really nice guy, was unfortunate :/
Some people give no signs, others give a lot of signs. It's just when it's not expected, it shocks people a little more, understandably. I didn't know him too well, but still had interacted with him on a few occasions. Seemed like a really nice guy, was unfortunate :/
TheSource
From the Divine we came, to the Divine we return.
- Sep 25, 2023
- 123
It's about to be me.
On paper, everything is great. 20 years old, college is paid for, a paying internship, dual-income household (I live with my parents. I don't pay the bills), plenty of entertainment and hobbies.
I can't get past the mental issues, though. Several months ago, I could have given you a list of every outside factor that was wrong. I can't really remember them now. The mental issues overpowered whatever part of life made me miserable. I had many reasons, but I can't remember them anymore. I don't think they went away, I think they're just being overshadowed.
One of the reasons why in my suicide note, I let everyone know don't blame anyone or any part of my life. It was only a result of my own mental illness. If anything they did contributed, I don't know about it anymore.
On paper, everything is great. 20 years old, college is paid for, a paying internship, dual-income household (I live with my parents. I don't pay the bills), plenty of entertainment and hobbies.
I can't get past the mental issues, though. Several months ago, I could have given you a list of every outside factor that was wrong. I can't really remember them now. The mental issues overpowered whatever part of life made me miserable. I had many reasons, but I can't remember them anymore. I don't think they went away, I think they're just being overshadowed.
One of the reasons why in my suicide note, I let everyone know don't blame anyone or any part of my life. It was only a result of my own mental illness. If anything they did contributed, I don't know about it anymore.
Rational man
Enlightened
- Oct 19, 2021
- 1,461
I knew of about 10 people who CTB. Two people, in recall seemed to have a great life paved out in front of them but i found out that they had died. Only later did i fully understand another side of their story. Its true you know that how we think we know people is just the tip of the iceburg.
AgentOrange
Member
- Oct 3, 2023
- 22
Same here. I've always been a "top tier" kinda person. I've done well in school to get a full ride. I'm married to the love of my life. I like to think that people enjoy my presence. I've done well at every job I've had. However, I'm just so unbelievably sad and uninterested in life all the time. It's incredibly painful and I've been struggling with this for at least a decade. I can be hiking a beautiful mountain or hanging out with my husband, and then the deepest feeling of hopelessness will kick in out of literally no where. Sometimes they last for weeks. I remember telling my parents about these feelings, and my dad told me that I have no reason to be sad and I'm faking it and being selfish for attention. It's hard to get over that.
TheSource
From the Divine we came, to the Divine we return.
- Sep 25, 2023
- 123
I get you. My dad told me I had no reason to be depressed and kept saying I had no reason to be admitted to the psych ward and that I just went loony. It's not like I attempted suicide for attention. I didn't even want my parents to find out. The police were the ones who told them. It's not like I talk to him about my depression either. I just amn't able to really hide any of the signs or symptoms.
RichardFirst
Specialist
- Jan 16, 2021
- 383
There was an intern who worked with me in a previous job. He was only about 21 or 22, as I remember, and he seemed as cheerful as could be expected. He returned to college in September of that year (2015). By Christmas, we got an email informing of his passing. No details were given, naturally, but it was rather obvious what had happened.
In the years since, I've seen a few similar emails announcing the passing of a colleague or former colleague. I suppose that one day, I'll be just such an email.
In the years since, I've seen a few similar emails announcing the passing of a colleague or former colleague. I suppose that one day, I'll be just such an email.
I'm so sorry...I used to think that just finding my "soulmate" would make my life safe and sound. I realized years ago of this folly.
Meditation guide
Always was, is, and always shall be.
- Jun 22, 2020
- 6,089
Yes, I didn't know him but actually saw him deliberately slam his car into a tree right in front of me. He was going so fast he died instantly. He was 16, and had a good life and great family, the story of his life was in the newspaper here. His father titled the article My Son Committed Suicide.
Spiritual survivor
A born again but occasionally suicidal
- Feb 13, 2022
- 509
U should see if u can get to the source or root of those feelings to figure out what might be missing or where it's coming from. Only if u feel inclined to better understand and see if u can resolve it somehow. U have so much to be grateful for, that I couldn't help but try to encourage u to see if u can sort it out. I never suggest therapy to anyone, but for someone who already has a good functioning life it could actually help to uncover what could be causing the hopelessness and stuff.
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sserafim
brighter than the sun, that’s just me
- Sep 13, 2023
- 9,013
AgentOrange
Member
- Oct 3, 2023
- 22
It really helped. Like honest to God. I never felt or feel as happy as I feel now. The depression is just never ending and without therapy (too much money) and without meds (due to job) I just cannot get over this disease.
I've gotten this response from others here which has surprised me. I'm a smart person and I've tried to get help. But due to material conditions I just can't get it. Even when I was in therapy and doing all the CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) tasks, it all just felt pointless. I think this stems from a lack of purpose in life. Global warming, capitalism, and homo/transphobia has just made my life full of anxiety and worthlessness. I don't want to work some bum job for the rest of my life. I don't want to worry about ecological disaster. I don't want to defend my existence to the masses. I'm just tired man.
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