Nursing has ruined my life and I want to die

[sadnurse90]

Hi… not sure what to say but that's it. I have no plan of action but I hate my job. I hate being a nurse, my anxiety is so high it's insane. I think about killing myself all the time…

Something sad happened and now I'm spiraling. I'm sorry this is jumbled and messy I just feel alone. I told my husband I wanted to die.

 

[jimmy7754]

I'm in the medical field and have spiraled since early 2021. I'm sorry your going through this.

 

[Ligottian]

Was the sad thing that you mentioned one of your patients dying? I'm asking for a reason.

 

[sadnurse90]

Yes… I just feel like I should have done more. Maybe I should have. I'm just drowning

I'm in the medical field and have spiraled since early 2021. I'm sorry your going through this.

Thank you… I'm just done

 

[OldDrummer]

I've known plenty of medical professionals personally over the years and without a doubt, they really are the worst patients and don't look after themselves.

Can understand your situation. We're all here to listen to you.

 

[Sherri]

I'm so sorry sweetie, I admire your job a lot, means you have a big heart, I personally couldn't do it. Have you looked at more relaxed nurse places like travel nurse offices, they make good money. Guess just trying to help. To the more sensitive souls that job can take a toll on someone.

 

[FuneralCry]

I am sorry that you are suffering so much, I can imagine that it must be awful dealing with so much anxiety and stress. I know that it can be dreadful when things just get worse. I wish you the best in whatever happens.

 

[sadnurse90]

Before my husband didn't take me seriously or maybe just wanted me to work and earn the most money but now even he says I need to get out of nursing and go to a doctors office or anything else. It's a paycut but my sanity feels on the line. I am way too sensitive to deal with this, been doing it a couple years. Covid felt like forever.

I wake up every night from 1 to 3 am and I'm like having deep chest pain, shaking, and I feel sick. It's panic. I can't live like this and I have zero meds to help me. I might go to the ER but it's like… embarrassing. People I worked with or people I went to school with….plus I know how they look at suicide and it isn't always nice.

 

[Foresight]

I worked in a hospital short term and I was blown away by the nursing staff. I've never seen people under such pressure and working so hard. Your body is reacting naturally to an immense amount of stress.

I experience PTSD panic attacks. I tried to go without meds for years and I didn't recover. I think for fight or flight that wakes you up at night you might need medication to help with the reset. If you're located in the US I used a remote service called Cerebral and had my meds in 24 hours. I wish you well. Know that it's truly understandable to need a break.

 

[Darkover]

since your a nurse you should have access to drugs you can easily overdose if you know what to look for you just have to steal them
2000mg olanzapine should be sufficient, dissolvable ones in water and drink within a few mins you'll complete pass out that should lead to respiratory arrest

 

[lunarflower]

When I got put in the psych ward a year ago for an attempt there were 3 nurses in there with me. They seemed so burned out from covid. Losing patients on the daily has got to be so hard and demoralizing. Definitely should take the paycut and move to a private practice in my opinion. Whatever your decision though I hope you find peace.

 

[whatevs]

since your a nurse you should have access to drugs you can easily overdose if you know what to look for you just have to steal them
2000mg olanzapine should be sufficient, dissolvable ones in water and drink within a few mins you'll complete pass out that should lead to respiratory arrest

This man isn't playing games

Straight to business

 

[Leiden]

I agree with @Sherri , maybe a more relaxed atmosphere will allow you to keep being a nurse and be less anxiety for you. You might actually find that you like being a nurse in a less stressful environment. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. The what ifs can torture you. It's natural to have these feelings when something like this happens. I know that they run nurses ragged and under staff. I'll never understand this. It's all about money and it should be more about the patients. You can only do so much with what you are given. My heart goes out to you. Best wishes ❤

 

[Sherri]

I agree with @Sherri , maybe a more relaxed atmosphere will allow you to keep being a nurse and be less anxiety for you. You might actually find that you like being a nurse in a less stressful environment. I can't imagine what you must be feeling right now. The what ifs can torture you. It's natural to have these feelings when something like this happens. I know that they run nurses ragged and under staff. I'll never understand this. It's all about money and it should be more about the patients. You can only do so much with what you are given. My heart goes out to you. Best wishes ❤

when I used to travel there is this nice clinic only applied jabs, and they were well paid. I did a part time there. The nurses there also couldn't cope with working in hospital. Stay strong, be on the look for something better .

 

[WhiteDespair]

was that your first time losing someone?

 

[watchingthewheels]

Sorry to hear that. I can only imagine. I was just layed off from a job in home health care, non-clinical. But it's weird, because we had a shortage of nurses, and the ones we had were over-worked, and it was obviously taking a toll on some.