NSFW I clogged the toilet at my psychiatrist's office: a cautionary tale

[ketchup sandwich]

On Tuesday I clogged the toilet at my psychiatrist's office.. the only bathroom in the office- a tiny one person unisex bathroom that all of the patients and staff use. The damage was very bad. I was too embarrassed to tell the receptionist. I am now consumed with guilt and shame for not speaking up. Also, I am refusing to take the lithium. I am coming into that office, wasting their time and decimating their bathroom. I'm terrified to go to my next appointment. I keep imagining my psychiatrist telling me "I know it was you who clogged the toilet. I hate you. Mental illness aside, you are an inconsiderate, gross person and I don't want to work with you anymore". It would've taken me a split second to tell the receptionist "hey, the toilet is clogged", but instead I remained silent and now I pay the price. Even though days have passed, I want to go into the office and confess my sins to the staff. I ruminate over the smallest things. I stole a Gameboy game from my friend when I was 10 and it still haunts me to this day. How do you unburden your conscience when it's out of control? My Jiminy Cricket is constantly screaming at me. I was catholic as a child, went to confession multiple times every week, so that might explain something.

 

[motel rooms]

On Tuesday I clogged the toilet at my psychiatrist's office. The damage was very bad. I was too embarrassed to tell the receptionist. I am now consumed with guilt and shame for not speaking up. Also, I am refusing to take the lithium.

Poetic justice. Your psychiatrist is trying to feed you shit, so you unconsciously retaliated by overpooping in their toilet.

 

[ClownMe]

This sounds like the plot to a Curb Your Enthusiasm or Seinfeld episode.

 

[Apricity]

Why won't you take the lithium? For me, it was because it made me a mental zombie. Turned me into a moron.

 

[ketchup sandwich]

Why won't you take the lithium? For me, it was because it made me a mental zombie. Turned me into a moron.

I've tried various meds and most of them I give a chance for at least a few weeks. I've tried lithium twice and each time I stop taking it after ONE day. The only med that makes me feel like a zombie immediately after taking it. My psychiatrist insists that feeling of being a zombie is normal at first, that my brain for years has only known how to function within a state of mania/hypomania, so she wants me to stick with the lithium and "learn to be a person again" without mania. I'm not confident in the bipolar 1 diagnosis. I always think I know better than my psychiatrists. Sometimes I'm convinced that in 100 years humans will see medication management similarly to how modern humans look back on frontal lobotomy.

 

[Apricity]

If you want treatment, but not lithium, ask about Trileptal. It doesn't cause you to go zombie mode. Plus no constant bloodwork. Idk why psychs keep pushing that lithium shit, it's literal poison. I know it works, but there are better alternatives.

 

[Idontrecognizemyself]

Losing my absolute MIND over this story oh my god hahaha. I'm so sorry. Humor aside (and you are a FANTASTIC storyteller, I feel like I'm right there with you in that tiny unisex bathroom experiencing a dawning horror), that sucks. I experience constant guilt and rumination very similar to how you described (my Dr thinks it's OCD but jury's still out on that one) and it is truly all-consuming. Even tiny transgressions from decades ago feel worthy of death.
If it's any consolation to you, I worked as a janitor for many years, and the days someone clogged the toilet? Wasn't even a blip in my radar. You'd be shocked how many people shat in showers, sinks, or somehow all over the walls (???) and would just carry on with their lives with 0% of the regret you are expressing.

 

[Enigmatic Sailor]

You flooded a toilet of a place that probably has the best insurance and the problem is easily solvable in a few minutes?
That's the 9th fucking circle of hell for you... I-I'm so sorry...

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

So inconsiderate. Just stay bunged up until you get home and clog your own toilet like a normal person.

But seriously, nothing you described is a big deal. My guess is you have an overactive sense of "conscience" - whether that's due to a religious upbringing, a mental health issue, or something else I couldn't tell you. Try to relax about it all though. Life happens.

 

[Shadowplay]

This sounds like the plot to a Curb Your Enthusiasm or Seinfeld episode.

Yeah I was gunna say sounds like an episode of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

 

[motyxia]

If it makes you feel any better I've vomited a lot of times in someone I barely knew's house, on their floor & bed, never the garbage or toilet (not because I was a scumbag, just couldn't walk). & they cleant it up every time. I still feel really ashamed for those times

 

[hashtagnull]

Your story made me giggle - thanks. Hopefully I'm not just being horrible - I do the same thing with the rumination and long-lasting guilt (I even do it about things that I did wrong when I was 4 years old). I'm not sure why I do that... I didn't get any religious indoctrination. I totally get that it's ridiculous. Anyways, the only thing that helps at all is to laugh at myself.
So yeah, look on the bright side.. you can bring this incident up when the shrink asks if you've been taking your meds ;)

 

[Toonloon]

I locked the door of the only bathroom at my shrink's office.
The people who give the key pissed me off so I turned on the water to the sink locked it up.

I honestly believed they had an extra key. I was wrong. I told my shrink and he laughed. He told me he was leaving that building anyway and didn't care.

I'm the same way. I obsess over stuff that is awful and uncontrollable. And at things I do without thinking but just reacting.
But most of the time nobody cares but me. I just watch a show I like. Cut myself. Masturbating.
Nobody cares honestly.

 

[OrcWitch]

I'm sorry to find humor in your painful story but this is the hardest I've laughed while reading this website.

 

[Rogue Proxy]

Poetic justice. Your psychiatrist is trying to feed you shit, so you unconsciously retaliated by overpooping in their toilet.

Too bad there isn't a toilet big enough to flush down all the therapisses, psychiashits, and psycholoshits in the world.

All in seriousness, while I understand how guilt and shame can gnaw at your consciousness, it's very unlikely that the shrink will bring up that bathroom mishap, let alone berate you for it. If the latter occurs, you can tell it where it can flush itself down, and leave it like your last bowel movement.

 

[TheLastFemaphrodyke]

On Tuesday I clogged the toilet at my psychiatrist's office.. the only bathroom in the office- a tiny one person unisex bathroom that all of the patients and staff use. The damage was very bad. I was too embarrassed to tell the receptionist. I am now consumed with guilt and shame for not speaking up. Also, I am refusing to take the lithium. I am coming into that office, wasting their time and decimating their bathroom. I'm terrified to go to my next appointment. I keep imagining my psychiatrist telling me "I know it was you who clogged the toilet. I hate you. Mental illness aside, you are an inconsiderate, gross person and I don't want to work with you anymore". It would've taken me a split second to tell the receptionist "hey, the toilet is clogged", but instead I remained silent and now I pay the price. Even though days have passed, I want to go into the office and confess my sins to the staff. I ruminate over the smallest things. I stole a Gameboy game from my friend when I was 10 and it still haunts me to this day. How do you unburden your conscience when it's out of control? My Jiminy Cricket is constantly screaming at me. I was catholic as a child, went to confession multiple times every week, so that might explain something.

OMG! ROTFLMFAO!!!!! There are certain stores, that shall remain nameless, that I no longer shop at. I am afraid they have my picture up, 'Wanted for Bathroom descretion'!

 

[lofticries]

Poop goes in the toilet, it just so happened that yours clogged it. Nothing to be ashamed of at all,op.

So inconsiderate. Just stay bunged up until you get home and clog your own toilet like a normal person.

But seriously, nothing you described is a big deal. My guess is you have an overactive sense of "conscience" - whether that's due to a religious upbringing, a mental health issue, or something else I couldn't tell you. Try to relax about it all though. Life happens.

More like shit happens.

 

[Banshee]

I highly doubt a psychiatrist would bring something so little and embarrassing up to one of their vulnerable patients.

If they do, that's good news! You will now know they're not professional enough to be in that position.

 

[whatevs]

I hate shrinks, I think you did a good deed there. These charlatans could use some humbling experiences, perhaps shit-clogging helps.

 

[Hookah-smoking-cat]

Lol omg that's funny