Bleak Stoic
Goodbye, Cruel World.
- Dec 22, 2019
- 40
Most of you know that shooting yourself isn't exactly rocket science. But unfortunately even this method is not fool proof and if done improperly can leave you much worse off than before.
So I'm going to show you all the no bullshit methods to shoot yourself so none of you wind up effectively lobotomized or with half your face blown off, as well as give a brief scientific rundown on why that is so you know I'm not bullshitting you.
To keep this thing short, sweet, and to the point this manual will be divided up in 2 segments: What Works, and What Doesn't.
Here we go:
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What Works:
When you shoot yourself, your goal is always to hit the brainstem. Here are the reasons:
1. It is the most essential part of the brain and controls nearly all functions necessary for survival. Your breathing, heartrate, autonomic functions, and even consciousness itself through the Reticular Activating System.
2. The brain stem is surrounded by the largest and main arteries that supply blood to your brain like the Posterior Cerebral Artery. If the bullet or the tremendous kinetic energy pings these arteries open you are 100% done for.
Now that we established that your brainstem is the goal, let me tell you how to do it:
1. The most reliable way by far, is through the roof of the mouth. Put the barrel of your gun into your mouth directly parallel to the floor, now tilt it back at roughly a 45° angle. Steady it in your hands and squeeze the trigger. BANG! Lights out.
I created some diagrams to show the angle you are going for:
2. Though the parietal bone. This is more tricky to do with more room for error, so I don't recommend it. But you can shoot yourself from the side of your head and humanely kill yourself. I will go into how its possible to mess this up in the next section. Here is the area you're going for:
As you can see, the easiest way to achieve this angle is to place the barrel of the handgun directly above your ear, at roughly eye level. If done correctly this will also accomplish the goal of hitting the brainstem.
In conclusion for this section:
The brainstem is obviously the best way to do it. Any reasonably powerful handgun round, rifle round, or shotgun load will accomplish this feat. But by far I reccomend you use a 12 or 10 gauge shotgun with a .00 buckshot load. If you do choose a handgun round, I highly recommend using hollowpoint +p bullets to maximize energy transfer and tissue damage, and no less than the 9mm cartridge. As for rifle rounds, there aren't many hollowpoint bullets in standard rifle calibers. But pretty much any big game hunting cartridge will do it.
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What Doesn't Work:
1. Shooting yourself under the chin. Just don't do it. Please. To be honest I'm not even sure how this method became so popularly depicted as a humane way to kill yourself, seeing how many people have blown half thier face off and wound up with a life much more worse then the life they tried to end.
Here is why you should NEVER EVER shoot yourself under the chin. To fully impress upon you just how badly you can fuck this up, I feel that showing you some NSFW imagery is necessary:
So I'm going to show you all the no bullshit methods to shoot yourself so none of you wind up effectively lobotomized or with half your face blown off, as well as give a brief scientific rundown on why that is so you know I'm not bullshitting you.
To keep this thing short, sweet, and to the point this manual will be divided up in 2 segments: What Works, and What Doesn't.
Here we go:
<><><><><><><><><><><><><>
What Works:
When you shoot yourself, your goal is always to hit the brainstem. Here are the reasons:
1. It is the most essential part of the brain and controls nearly all functions necessary for survival. Your breathing, heartrate, autonomic functions, and even consciousness itself through the Reticular Activating System.
2. The brain stem is surrounded by the largest and main arteries that supply blood to your brain like the Posterior Cerebral Artery. If the bullet or the tremendous kinetic energy pings these arteries open you are 100% done for.
Now that we established that your brainstem is the goal, let me tell you how to do it:
1. The most reliable way by far, is through the roof of the mouth. Put the barrel of your gun into your mouth directly parallel to the floor, now tilt it back at roughly a 45° angle. Steady it in your hands and squeeze the trigger. BANG! Lights out.
I created some diagrams to show the angle you are going for:
2. Though the parietal bone. This is more tricky to do with more room for error, so I don't recommend it. But you can shoot yourself from the side of your head and humanely kill yourself. I will go into how its possible to mess this up in the next section. Here is the area you're going for:
As you can see, the easiest way to achieve this angle is to place the barrel of the handgun directly above your ear, at roughly eye level. If done correctly this will also accomplish the goal of hitting the brainstem.
In conclusion for this section:
The brainstem is obviously the best way to do it. Any reasonably powerful handgun round, rifle round, or shotgun load will accomplish this feat. But by far I reccomend you use a 12 or 10 gauge shotgun with a .00 buckshot load. If you do choose a handgun round, I highly recommend using hollowpoint +p bullets to maximize energy transfer and tissue damage, and no less than the 9mm cartridge. As for rifle rounds, there aren't many hollowpoint bullets in standard rifle calibers. But pretty much any big game hunting cartridge will do it.
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><>
What Doesn't Work:
1. Shooting yourself under the chin. Just don't do it. Please. To be honest I'm not even sure how this method became so popularly depicted as a humane way to kill yourself, seeing how many people have blown half thier face off and wound up with a life much more worse then the life they tried to end.
Here is why you should NEVER EVER shoot yourself under the chin. To fully impress upon you just how badly you can fuck this up, I feel that showing you some NSFW imagery is necessary:
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