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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,542
It is true that there are and have been pro lifers on here, and nobody can deny that. I am the one who reads a lot of the threads in the suicide discussion, so I know what I see. Invalidation of suffering and ctb reasons happens regularly on here, I saw it in one of todays threads. It just makes me feel bad for the person posting about their suffering and that type of thing makes people feel even more suicidal and isolated. And it is quite ironic in a way that those who annoyingly claim that if you are young things can get better, are older people posting on a suicide forum, so obviously things did not get better for them. I have seen worse pro life things on here in the past similar to what those in the media claim. Very suspicious. So there really is nowhere free from pro lifers, and that is a fact.

Sorry about being too vague, but all I meant about "situation", which you partly answered, was if you are bed ridden, if you have other ailments keeping you physically from ctb, if you're held against your will somewhere. I understand that you don't want to live in this world, anymore. You are always very clear about that. Is part of the reason, or, maybe, even all of the reason(s) that suicide is difficult for you have anything to do with religion? Is it against your beliefs to take your own life?
To answer your question, I have never mentioned being religious anywhere on here and I have stated many times that I believe religion to be fictional. Suicide is not easy for everyone. I don't have to be literally held against my will somewhere for suicide to be hard. The reason why suicide is difficult for me is because I have limited access to methods and that is simply just the way that things are. I fear that if I try and attempt ctb I will end up with damage or my attempt will go wrong in someway. We live in a pro life society where people are limiting access to methods and trying to stop people from suicide. The thought of ending up in a worse condition is terrifying.
Seriously, if I actually could ctb I would not be on this forum.
 
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Un-

Un-

I'm a failure. An absolute waste. A LOSEr.
Apr 6, 2021
652
I don't understand why everytime @FuneralCry posts something, there's always gotta be a retaliation or whatever. I just don't understand. Like, so what if she calls you delusional? It's just an opinion. Like look at religion on this site - nearly every post about it, bashes the living shit out of it, but you don't have a rebellion in the comment section because.. It's just a bloody opinion. I don't understand. It's gotten to the point where it's nearly every thread she makes.. Like they're actively poking the bee's nest. She's just venting. I just don't.. I don't get it. I'm sorry, @FuneralCry, that this happens to you so often. It just sucks. Simply put.
 
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Rapière

Rapière

On the brink
Jul 7, 2022
249
I don't understand why everytime @FuneralCry posts something, there's always gotta be a retaliation or whatever. I just don't understand. Like, so what if she calls you delusional? It's just an opinion. Like look at religion on this site - nearly every post about it, bashes the living shit out of it, but you don't have a rebellion in the comment section because.. It's just a bloody opinion. I don't understand. It's gotten to the point where it's nearly every thread she makes.. Like they're actively poking the bee's nest. She's just venting. I just don't.. I don't get it. I'm sorry, @FuneralCry, that this happens to you so often. It just sucks. Simply put.
TL;DR: "Stop defending yourselves from her insults, you are hurting her feelings"
...
This is a public forum, she has the right to voice her opinions and we have a right to disagree. Giving someone's views a little scrutiny has nothing to with "retaliation".
 
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lights_are_on

lights_are_on

unfortunately
Apr 9, 2022
45
I don't understand why everytime @FuneralCry posts something, there's always gotta be a retaliation or whatever. I just don't understand. Like, so what if she calls you delusional? It's just an opinion. Like look at religion on this site - nearly every post about it, bashes the living shit out of it, but you don't have a rebellion in the comment section because.. It's just a bloody opinion. I don't understand. It's gotten to the point where it's nearly every thread she makes.. Like they're actively poking the bee's nest. She's just venting. I just don't.. I don't get it. I'm sorry, @FuneralCry, that this happens to you so often. It just sucks. Simply put.
Right? God forbid someone on the suicide forum said life's shit. Oh no. How r we gonna survive that?? 😭😭 I don't get the issue, who cares. Yawn at this point
 
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9BBN

9BBN

Heaven, send Hell away
Mar 29, 2021
377
I don't agree with the way "delusional" is being used here, but I get where you're coming from FC.

I don't understand why everytime @FuneralCry posts something, there's always gotta be a retaliation or whatever. I just don't understand. Like, so what if she calls you delusional? It's just an opinion. Like look at religion on this site - nearly every post about it, bashes the living shit out of it, but you don't have a rebellion in the comment section because.. It's just a bloody opinion. I don't understand. It's gotten to the point where it's nearly every thread she makes.. Like they're actively poking the bee's nest. She's just venting. I just don't.. I don't get it. I'm sorry, @FuneralCry, that this happens to you so often. It just sucks. Simply put.
Retaliation? This is ironic. You claim that people are pushing back on OP for sharing "just an opinion," but if you are calling that a "retaliation," then you're missing how that's just an opinion too.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,542
I don't understand why everytime @FuneralCry posts something, there's always gotta be a retaliation or whatever. I just don't understand. Like, so what if she calls you delusional? It's just an opinion. Like look at religion on this site - nearly every post about it, bashes the living shit out of it, but you don't have a rebellion in the comment section because.. It's just a bloody opinion. I don't understand. It's gotten to the point where it's nearly every thread she makes.. Like they're actively poking the bee's nest. She's just venting. I just don't.. I don't get it. I'm sorry, @FuneralCry, that this happens to you so often. It just sucks. Simply put.
Thank you. I think the truth is, is that this website really isn't that different from anywhere else on the internet in many ways, and that is a fact that I have known for a long time, which is I guess the whole point of the post in the first place. Some people can find something wrong with everything and that is just the way that people are. It doesn't really bother me anymore or surprise me. I do think that as long as people delude themselves that there is some good in living, we will never get our right to die and that is the unfortunate truth. I do envy those who come on here for methods and just leave, they are lucky.

I think the thing that really sucks is that this website even needs to exist in the first place. It is just a lot of threads and information about methods which reminds me of how hard it is to die. There is nothing easy about suicide. Both hanging and drowning sound like horrible methods. If we could all get euthanasia then there would be no need for any of these discussions. It is all pointless anyway. There will always be people who deny the fact that life is only suffering. We live in such a pro life world after all. Death is the only relief.
 
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Un-

Un-

I'm a failure. An absolute waste. A LOSEr.
Apr 6, 2021
652
Thank you. I think the truth is, is that this website really isn't that different from anywhere else on the internet in many ways, and that is a fact that I have known for a long time, which is I guess the whole point of the post in the first place. Some people can find something wrong with everything and that is just the way that people are. It doesn't really bother me anymore or surprise me. I do think that as long as people delude themselves that there is some good in living, we will never get our right to die and that is the unfortunate truth. I do envy those who come on here for methods and just leave, they are lucky.

I think the thing that really sucks is that this website even needs to exist in the first place. It is just a lot of threads and information about methods which reminds me of how hard it is to die. There is nothing easy about suicide. Both hanging and drowning sound like horrible methods. If we could all get euthanasia then there would be no need for any of these discussions. It is all pointless anyway. There will always be people who deny the fact that life is only suffering. We live in such a pro life world after all. Death is the only relief.
Well, yeah that's people. As special as we think we are, people are just predicable. I was talking about it.. Or ranting.. I don't remember, but even here you have.. The people that are "popular", the losers, etcetera. Things you'd think people would ditch when they come onto a forum like this, but no. Arguments, hatred, jealously, incohesion.. Nothing changes, as long as there's people here. But there's no better place to go. At least for me. I don't have a life at all, and this place at the very least allows me to bide my time doing something.

I disagree with the sentiment that you talk about.. Like why you think euthenasia won't happen. And I think that's okay. I just don't get why I have to tell you that, y'know? You don't go into a church as ah atheist, and start.. Yelling your opinions about it. It has nothing to do with free will or whatever the fuck, but.. Like relax dude. There's a time and a place. Either way, I think euthenasia won't ever happen because people are too couped up trying to control more than themselves.. Thinking that they're worth more than centipedes. Look at abortion, guns, etcetera. It's just people having this idea in their heads like "this is how the world should be run and fuck you if you think otherwise" and I don't think that will ever be overcome. Humans don't change. Hitler was the Ghengis Khan of the 20th century, for example. Someone is probably raping a ten year old right now, and someone raped a ten year old a couple of weeks ago, and another will rape one a few weeks from now. Shit just won't change.

As hard as it is to die, I'm just banking on suffering enough that I don't care anymore. At some point, we just have to accept that pain will always be a factor and a painless death is just a dream. Besides, hanging and jumping and shit.. They're not that bad. I think watching gore about it.. Kind of makes you realise how.. Not bad it is at all. I know how you feel about it, though.

I agree a lot with what you say, regardless. Everything is pointless.. Heh, to the point where I struggle to formulate opinions. Hell, I'm struggling right now. What's the point of having em? What's the point in moving? What's the point in waking up and sleeping? I feel hurt in both states. I hate both states.. Death really is a relief. Bloody horrible that it's difficult to reach, but.. That's how life is, innit? Everything that I want is out of reach. Because fuck you. Sigh. Anyway, I hope you feel at peace soon, friend - whatever that may mean to you.
 
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Winterreise

Experienced
Jun 27, 2022
250
Prolifers are excelent manipulators and infiltrators. How else can they win? But i always smell them. At their best they are annoying.
I don't agree with the way "delusional" is being used here, but I get where you're coming from FC.


Retaliation? This is ironic. You claim that people are pushing back on OP for sharing "just an opinion," but if you are calling that a "retaliation," then you're missing how that's just an opinion too.
Grammar hour
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,448
To answer your question, I have never mentioned being religious anywhere on here and I have stated many times that I believe religion to be fictional. Suicide is not easy for everyone. I don't have to be literally held against my will somewhere for suicide to be hard. The reason why suicide is difficult for me is because I have limited access to methods and that is simply just the way that things are. I fear that if I try and attempt ctb I will end up with damage or my attempt will go wrong in someway. We live in a pro life society where people are limiting access to methods and trying to stop people from suicide. The thought of ending up in a worse condition is terrifying.
Seriously, if I actually could ctb I would not be on this forum.
I apologize if I had not read where you mention that you are not religious. After all, you have nearly 13K posts and have been on this forum for quite a long time, so I may have missed where you have stated such. I was only trying to ascertain your impediment to committing suicide, whether it was some type of physical ailment, a religious objection of some kind, whether your living situation keeps you from being able to ctb, etc.

I don't know where you live, so can only speak in regard to my country, but here in the US, most anyone who really needs to ctb, can pretty much find a way, if that is their intention. Gun shows are a dime-a-dozen, and it's easy to go and buy a gun at any gun show, especially from a non-FFL seller. It's easy to order SN, if that is the method one chooses. It's easy to buy a rope should someone desire hanging. It's easy to procure materials to die by CO poisoning, if that is someone's method of choice. It's certainly not hard to die by suicide-by-cop (SBC) if someone wants to go that route, either. Nitrogen tanks are fairly easy to get from any gas supplier. In larger cities there are plenty of high bridges, if someone wants to jump to their death, notwithstanding the suicide blockades on many of them that can be easily thwarted. It's really easy to find a train track here in the US to place one's neck. There are just about an unlimited amount of ways that someone, who really is intent on ctb, can find to take their own life.

Yes, it's true, we live in a pro-life society that attempts to make it harder for people to commit suicide, but, somehow, still around 1,000,000 people a year end up being successful in taking their own lives. If there's a will, there's a way, I suppose. And, I agree, the thought of attempting suicide and ending up in a far worse situation is terrifying.

The last thing I am going to say is that it seems like you have quite a bit of time on your hands, based on your time here, how many posts you have written, that kind of thing. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you to go on for so long in such despair with no clear way of escape. As I said, I have no idea where you live, so I must assume that your limited access to methods is based on your locality somewhere other than the US and, quite frankly, many other countries. I can only think of a few countries where such a limited access to methods could be the case.

In any regard, I'm not going to press you any further, FC. I hope you do find the peace you seek and deserve.
 
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,542
I apologize if I had not read where you mention that you are not religious. After all, you have nearly 13K posts and have been on this forum for quite a long time, so I may have missed where you have stated such. I was only trying to ascertain your impediment to committing suicide, whether it was some type of physical ailment, a religious objection of some kind, whether your living situation keeps you from being able to ctb, etc.

I don't know where you live, so can only speak in regard to my country, but here in the US, most anyone who really needs to ctb, can pretty much find a way, if that is their intention. Gun shows are a dime-a-dozen, and it's easy to go and buy a gun at any gun show, especially from a non-FFL seller. It's easy to order SN, if that is the method one chooses. It's easy to buy a rope should someone desire hanging. It's easy to procure materials to die by CO poisoning, if that is someone's method of choice. It's certainly not hard to die by suicide-by-cop (SBC) if someone wants to go that route, either. Nitrogen tanks are fairly easy to get from any gas supplier. In larger cities there are plenty of high bridges, if someone wants to jump to their death, notwithstanding the suicide blockades on many of them that can be easily thwarted. It's really easy to find a train track here in the US to place one's neck. There are just about an unlimited amount of ways that someone, who really is intent on ctb, can find to take their own life.

Yes, it's true, we live in a pro-life society that attempts to make it harder for people to commit suicide, but, somehow, still around 1,000,000 people a year end up being successful in taking their own lives. If there's a will, there's a way, I suppose. And, I agree, the thought of attempting suicide and ending up in a far worse situation is terrifying.

The last thing I am going to say is that it seems like you have quite a bit of time on your hands, based on your time here, how many posts you have written, that kind of thing. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for you to go on for so long in such despair with no clear way of escape. As I said, I have no idea where you live, so I must assume that your limited access to methods is based on your locality somewhere other than the US and, quite frankly, many other countries. I can only think of a few countries where such a limited access to methods could be the case.

In any regard, I'm not going to press you any further, FC. I hope you do find the peace you seek and deserve.
I think the fact that there are so many threads on here about hanging and failed attempts show that this method is not easy. If hanging was easy then there would be no forum. There is nothing easy about trains or jumping even if I had access to a high bridge. I live in the UK, and maybe it isn't the fact the amount of methods are extremely limited, it is more of the fact that I fear something going wrong if I tried to attempt or even order ctb materials which could make my life worse and many of the methods are just horrible and so risky.

I just don't think that it is a good idea writing about how easy ctb is as that is simply not the reality with many of the methods listed. If it was easy then there would be no discussions about anything on this forum. Those type of comments will never help anyone or make them feel better. It's almost like the type of thing that pro lifers say that 'if you really wanted to die, you would have already found a way'. Maybe it is easy for you, but the forum says otherwise. The problem is the pro lifers who take away the peaceful methods.
Anyway, I hope you find peace as well.
 
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E

Enoughnow

Experienced
Feb 1, 2022
206
I think the fact that there are so many threads on here about hanging and failed attempts show that this method is not easy. If hanging was easy then there would be no forum. There is nothing easy about trains or jumping even if I had access to a high bridge. I live in the UK, and maybe it isn't the fact the amount of methods are extremely limited, it is more of the fact that I fear something going wrong if I tried to attempt or even order ctb materials which could make my life worse and many of the methods are just horrible and so risky.

I just don't think that it is a good idea writing about how easy ctb is as that is simply not the reality with many of the methods listed. If it was easy then there would be no discussions about anything on this forum. Those type of comments will never help anyone or make them feel better. It's almost like the type of thing that pro lifers say that 'if you really wanted to die, you would have already found a way'. Maybe it is easy for you, but the forum says otherwise. The problem is the pro lifers who take away the peaceful methods.
Anyway, I hope you find peace as well.
I always get attacked every time I post anything too I'm sorry your going through this
I get accused of being a pro lifer troll it's wierd because I don't know anyone on here personally so makes no difference to my life if they commit suicide I sometimes wonder if the people accusing everyone of being prolifers are the actual pro lifers because they make this site so unbearable with bullying and accusations that I visit a lot less get scared to ask for advise or give opinions therefore unfortunately keeping me alive
I wonder do they think I'll just bully everyone off the site all togethor
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,542
I always get attacked every time I post anything too I'm sorry your going through this
I get accused of being a pro lifer troll it's wierd because I don't know anyone on here personally so makes no difference to my life if they commit suicide I sometimes wonder if the people accusing everyone of being prolifers are the actual pro lifers because they make this site so unbearable with bullying and accusations that I visit a lot less get scared to ask for advise or give opinions therefore unfortunately keeping me alive
I wonder do they think I'll just bully everyone off the site all togethor
It is the truth that there really are and have been some nasty insensitive people on this site, I know exactly what you mean, I have seen lots of bullying and it is absolutely awful how some people treat suicidal people. They show no respect for the other person's suffering. I'm sorry that this happened to you. It is unacceptable. I hope that they leave people alone.
 
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CemetryGates

CemetryGates

𝔅𝔢𝔱𝔴𝔢𝔢𝔫 𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔩𝔡𝔰
Apr 10, 2022
228
We keep ourselves out of the way of the mainstream they took away the reddit so we came here on a separate website and still there are people who cannot let us have peace.
 
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locked*n*loaded

locked*n*loaded

Archangel
Apr 15, 2022
8,448
I think the fact that there are so many threads on here about hanging and failed attempts show that this method is not easy. If hanging was easy then there would be no forum. There is nothing easy about trains or jumping even if I had access to a high bridge. I live in the UK, and maybe it isn't the fact the amount of methods are extremely limited, it is more of the fact that I fear something going wrong if I tried to attempt or even order ctb materials which could make my life worse and many of the methods are just horrible and so risky.

I just don't think that it is a good idea writing about how easy ctb is as that is simply not the reality with many of the methods listed. If it was easy then there would be no discussions about anything on this forum. Those type of comments will never help anyone or make them feel better. It's almost like the type of thing that pro lifers say that 'if you really wanted to die, you would have already found a way'. Maybe it is easy for you, but the forum says otherwise. The problem is the pro lifers who take away the peaceful methods.
Anyway, I hope you find peace as well.
I guess I lied (about another reply). Really didn't mean to. Not my intent. OK, last thing then.

SI is the biggest obstacle to ctb. Let's admit that, at least. Now, how many "peaceful methods" are these "pro-lifers" taking away from you? Name any other than N. The people who took away the barbiturates are not the "pro-lifers". It is the government. People WHO DID NOT WANT TO DIE were dying from them. You may consider them (pro-lifers and government) one in the same, but I do not. These people in government have more to do than just sitting around thinking up ways to make it harder for you, or anyone else, to end your lives. I doubt those who wanted to use barbiturates to end their lives were even a consideration when tighter controls were put in place. There were plenty of other issues with barbiturates. I have no idea what it is like to live in the UK. I understand that you don't have the same Constitution we here in the US do. I can only speak about life here in the US. Maybe we do have more methods available to us here. Everyone fears something going wrong. There's no getting away from that. Again, it's the SI that makes ctb hard. Taking one's life is never going to be easy no matter what methods are available. Lilfe isn't designed (evolved) to be easy to be extinguished. Just my 2 cents.
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
42,542
The fact that the only methods available for me are horrible and risky ones are the biggest obstacle to ctb and that is probably the case for many people. The pro lifers want to stop people getting SN as well and make it as hard as possible for us to die. The main reason as to why I am still alive is not because of the SI, it is the fault of the society for not allowing us a reliable way to exit without having to worry about the fear of failure and fear of something going wrong. Suicide is just so complicated, and it is risky ordering anything online or buying anything in relation to suicide, at least for me. I would fear something bad happening. If I had a peaceful method, I would already be gone. Life is such a terrible thing and trying to stop people from dying is so cruel.
 
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ojinzo

ojinzo

Specialist
Feb 21, 2022
304
It seems as though in a world like this it is hard to escape from the pro life ideas that there is something positive about being alive and that life has some value and purpose and should be always lived. The fact that so many people deny the reality of this existence and do not accept how horrible life really is, is why we are trapped here and why euthanasia is not legal.

The idea of hope and that life will improve is a delusion, all humans have to look forward to is getting old and basically deteriorating until they eventually die. In this society, suicide is seen as irrational and thoughts of suicide are seen something that needs help and treatment when in reality wanting suicide can be perfectly rational, it is all that makes sense for me.
There is no cure or treatment for seeing what life really is, that it is a horrible, torturous experience.

Suffering has no point or purpose. What is the point to suffering just to die anyway. Life is unpredictable and uncertain and things could get worse at anytime. Our bodies can torture us with health problems and anyone could end up in the worst pain possible. Denying methods is so cruel. Death should be accepted in society and seen as a wonderful thing, it is freedom from everything that is wrong with life. It takes away all problems and prevents future suffering.

Sometimes even this website feels no different, it often feels pointless, it is just complicated suicide information that reminds me of how difficult suicide is and you read about people struggling to ctb, who are suffering so much being confused by this website with all the acronyms. Nobody should even have to research suicide on the internet in the first place, death should come easily and peacefully.

Even this website is not free from pro lifers, as well as other examples, there are those who want to 'gatekeep' suicide (only a certain age and amount of suffering) and those who push the idea that 'there is hope if you are young' 'things will get better' which can be invalidating and does not reflect the unpredictable and uncertain reality of existence. I have wanted to die for such a long time and yet things have only gotten worse. 21 years of existing is certainly more than enough for me, yet the fact that this life could continue for many more decades is horrifying. There is no peace or relief anywhere in a life like this and nowhere I belong apart from death. If only eternal sleep would come. Words cannot often describe my dislike of living.
I love you. I just, simply, do. ♥️
 
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GasMonkey

GasMonkey

Nitrogen Master Race
May 15, 2022
1,878
It is true that there are and have been pro lifers on here
I think that the folks posting bullshit here like "no good CTB methods exist", "there are no painfree methods", "all methods are likely to fail", etc are concealed pro-lifers.
 

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