Now this is really the last pain I can handle

[kunikuzushi]

My ex broke up with me about 2 months ago, but we've been talking every day to help each other with emotional problems and sleep problems. Well until a week ago when he blocked me and told me I suck because I was taking about 20-30 minutes to reply instead of the usual immediate reply. I told him it was because I was with friends and he blocked me everywhere. I'm not handling this well at all because it was so sudden and I really have no way of contacting him. We were together for about 2 years.

And now today my best friend/roommate is sick and asked me if I could buy him tissues if he brings us to get food. I said ok but I had mental breakdown because he brought us somewhere and didn't tell me they got rid of their only vegetarian option and I have stupid problems with food. So I started crying and he said he was getting annoyed so he needs to drop me off at home.

These are the only two people I had/have in my life and I feel very hated and abandoned. And to think I was staying alive for them. I'm really done with this horrible life. This really feels like the last straw. I keep getting beat down further and further. It sucks because there were still a few things I wanted to do in life, like see some of my favorite bands live that I never got to. But I really can't take it anymore. I'm gonna have to decide on a method soon before I lose my mind completely. Thank you for reading

 

[OceanBlue]

Sorry, every single person is an asshole. When someone is close to us we tend to overlook their negative qualities, sometimes during a bigger conflict they will become apparent - you kind of always knew in the back of your mind, but it will still surprise you. Relationships are built around this mutual "tolerance", it can't work if not everyone is on board.

With your friend it seems it could have been a misunderstanding, but if someone goes as far as blocking you, then it's over (or part of some kind of manipulation, which should also mean it's over, so the ex gotta go or it will keep happening).

Friends are difficult to find, but even talking to strangers could work as a substitute for a while, like in community groups or even language apps.

You can see your fav bands on your own, we shouldn't be too dependent on other people, neither emotionally nor financially, as much as possible.

Hope you feel better soon

 

[kunikuzushi]

Sorry, every single person is an asshole. When someone is close to us we tend to overlook their negative qualities, sometimes during a bigger conflict they will become apparent - you kind of always knew in the back of your mind, but it will still surprise you. Relationships are built around this mutual "tolerance", it can't work if not everyone is on board.

With your friend it seems it could have been a misunderstanding, but if someone goes as far as blocking you, then it's over (or part of some kind of manipulation, which should also mean it's over, so the ex gotta go or it will keep happening).

Friends are difficult to find, but even talking to strangers could work as a substitute for a while, like in community groups or even language apps.

You can see your fav bands on your own, we shouldn't be too dependent on other people, neither emotionally nor financially, as much as possible.

Hope you feel better soon

Yeah I forgot to say this is the fourth time he blocked me, but I think he's finally sick of me for good. And I am part of a small community online that I talk to every day, but it's just not cutting it mostly because I want a deeper connection and I'm not ready to give that to anyone again.

And thanks I do go to shows by myself, but I meant I won't be able to see them because I'll be dead.

Thanks for the wishes. Hope you have a lovely day/night

 

[ruinenest]

I'm not good with words, but it honestly seems like your ex is an absolute asshole.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you, and I hope you can find someone better to confide in, or just some peace.
Your ex getting mad at you and blocking you for such a petty reason is childish, but if that's how he is, perhaps it was for good. I hope everything is better for you soon.

I'm sending my best wishes towards you <3

 

[kunikuzushi]

I'm not good with words, but it honestly seems like your ex is an absolute asshole.

I'm sorry that this is happening to you, and I hope you can find someone better to confide in, or just some peace.
Your ex getting mad at you and blocking you for such a petty reason is childish, but if that's how he is, perhaps it was for good. I hope everything is better for you soon.

I'm sending my best wishes towards you <3

Thank you very much for the kind words. I don't blame my ex at all for what he did. I'm not a great person to have in someone's life. I just wish things ended differently. I miss him dearly every day, but I'm hoping you're right that it's for the better

 

[FuneralCry]

It really can be awful when existing just continues to get worse and I just think the reality is that you cannot trust and rely on people in this cruel world. But anyway, best wishes, it's very much understandable wishing to finally be free from all the suffering that existing brings.

 

[SadJessu]

I will say this, my ex did the same, and it was honestly the best thing he could have done for me. While for him it was fueled by spite, it helped me move on. I had a dreadful, toxic relationship, and I kept flip flopping back and forth between my ex and my now husband (we hadn't met physically yet, we were in a relationship online), because I craved emotional support and intimacy so badly and my new partner was on the other side of the world. My ex was all I'd ever known and so much of my identity was wrapped up in him that I needed him to push me away to untangle myself. Looking back now I'm repulsed by him and how he treated me, but I'm also repulsed by wasting a decade of emotion on him, and my inability to cut it off cleanly for my new partner. Unfortunately for me the past has caused a lot of trauma going forward, but at least I'm free.

I suppose what I'm saying is that this could be a good thing, as much as it hurts right now.

And yeah, the feeling of annoying others is a major factor in why I have suicidal ideation. I so don't want to be burdensome, but I know my mental illness effects my husband. I know I annoy him, he's said as much. So I deeply empathize, it's not your fault that you have issues with food, or that you cry. I think if people around us could feel half of what it's like to experience severe depression and anxiety they would be more empathetic. I know I try to be.

Hope you feel better soon. Take care.

 

[Jäger91]

Thank you very much for the kind words. I don't blame my ex at all for what he did. I'm not a great person to have in someone's life. I just wish things ended differently. I miss him dearly every day, but I'm hoping you're right that it's for the better

A toxic relationship really is something that you sadly cant know beforehand, they will sometimes turn into entirely different people after they know that you are stuck on them. Also never say that you aren't a great person to have in someone's life. It might be quite optimistic of me to say this, but I think there is someone for everyone and you will also find friends again soon, like OceanBlue said, just message some people that you maybe only rarely talk to, or even strangers and maybe you will build a nice bond with them.