Now that time is running out for me I'm scared

[Klo]

So circumstances are lining up to where I need to make a genuine attempt to ctb in the next few days. My only and best method is taking 5g of propranolol. I'm scared it will not work but I also just feel scare in general. I don't want to continue living especially as my circumstances just continue to get worse but I wish there was some solution other than ctb. Any words of kindness or comfort would be really appreciated.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Though you and i have disagreed on a few posts, i hope you find peace. All i can say is do what you feel is best. However if you're not 100% sure this is what you want, you should not attempt.

 

[Klo]

Though you and i have disagreed on a few posts, i hope you find peace. All i can say is do what you feel is best. However if you're not 100% sure this is what you want, you should not attempt.

Thanks for that. I was unaware that we disagreed. Sorry if I've offended you.

 

[Sleeper System]

Dying by your own hand can be just as difficult as trying to stay alive.
It's rare that a person doesn't feel scared about ctb. It's not easy.
The best you can hope for is no pain. That is what we all hope for.

Other options? Not anything that won't have a degree of struggle. Sadly.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Thanks for that. I was unaware that we disagreed. Sorry if I've offended you.

It was on minor stuff. And i take no offense to being disagreed with. You're not suppose to agree on everything someone says.

 

[Klo]

It was on minor stuff. And i take no offense to being disagreed with. You're not suppose to agree on everything someone says.

That's good to know. I'm off my meds and have been isolated for 2+ years so I don't have the clearest perception anymore.

 

[virgilwalks]

So circumstances are lining up to where I need to make a genuine attempt to ctb in the next few days. My only and best method is taking 5g of propranolol. I'm scared it will not work but I also just feel scare in general. I don't want to continue living especially as my circumstances just continue to get worse but I wish there was some solution other than ctb. Any words of kindness or comfort would be really appreciated.

Aside from the difficulties you have worth. Your life has worth. Are there any other possible solutions you could explore ?

 

[Klo]

Aside from the difficulties you have worth. Your life has worth. Are there any other possible solutions you could explore ?

I've been trying to hold on for family members peace of mind even though I'm not close with them but I'm in a lot of pain physically and I just can't do this if I end up homeless on top of everything. If there was a solution to meet basic needs like shelter I would hold on just so other people won't be sad.

 

[virgilwalks]

I've been trying to hold on for family members peace of mind even though I'm not close with them but I'm in a lot of pain physically and I just can't do this if I end up homeless on top of everything. If there was a solution to meet basic needs like shelter I would hold on just so other people won't be sad.

In terms of basic need for shelter - are there any options to find a safe space for you?

 

[Klo]

In terms of basic need for shelter - are there any options to find a safe space for you?

No after the pandemic I'm pretty isolated. If I could work I would but I can't really sit or stand. This is kind of the end of the line for me. I wish we lived in a kinder society but we don't.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

I've been trying to hold on for family members peace of mind even though I'm not close with them but I'm in a lot of pain physically and I just can't do this if I end up homeless on top of everything. If there was a solution to meet basic needs like shelter I would hold on just so other people won't be sad.

Honestly, I don't think living, or in your case, holding on for others, ever works. At best, it only works very short term. No, I think it has to be for you and only you, if that can even be. I don't know your circumstances, but from the little you said in this post, your situation sounds awful. It's hard to come up with other options not knowing all the details of your condition(s).

 

[Klo]

Honestly, I don't think living, or in your case, holding on for others, ever works. At best, it only works very short term. No, I think it has to be for you and only you, if that can even be. I don't know your circumstances, but from the little you said in this post, your situation sounds awful. It's hard to come up with other options not knowing all the details of your condition(s).

I guess on some level I still care about what certain people will think even if I'm dead. And you are right, living for them is not working for me.

 

[outrider567]

So circumstances are lining up to where I need to make a genuine attempt to ctb in the next few days. My only and best method is taking 5g of propranolol. I'm scared it will not work but I also just feel scare in general. I don't want to continue living especially as my circumstances just continue to get worse but I wish there was some solution other than ctb. Any words of kindness or comfort would be really appreciated.

Well, Quora says just 1 gram of propranolol will succeed, so 5 should be no problem if you decide to CTB but it sounds like you're on the fence a bit--I'd wait if its possible

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry that you suffer so unbearably. This life really is so cruel and unfair and I can imagine that it must be devastating being in that situation. I hope that you find relief from your pain in whatever happens, I wish you the best.