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unique pumpkin

unique pumpkin

I was born like this
Oct 29, 2025
5
This is probably going to be a long one .
Ever since I can remember, I wanted not to exist it was too much for me , I could never understand anyone neither could they understand me . It really was like hell, even though I'm not very beautiful (I don't like to use the word handsome) I did find two lovers , and both of them were amazing but still even though i was in love and all , I always felt like they never understood me , so I had to let loose of them and not waste their time.

Then this year I met someone ( well not entirely new) for I knew her from my school,but yk people change and so did she . Ah well I texted her but I didn't exactly tell her it was me for I was scared of coming out as being weird for just texting her out of the blue . (And it really was out of the blue ). Well as we talked ( for some reason she kept talking not knowing who I was ) and I came to know all the things about her that I had no idea of and God! I wanted just to hug her, maybe she kept talking to me because she was too lonely. She wrote these poems , drew , read all these books that I wanted to talk about with someone.
But then few days ago I didn't remember how many days have passed since , she completely deleted her account. And around this time I had gathered up the courage to tell her that it was me despite embarrassment. And that account was the only way for me to talk to her , and now with each passing day I regret not having told her.
I go to her favourite place every day now just to feel like her , And now I feel like floating around as if my roots having been plucked out from the ground, this was the only person I felt could understand me and now that even she is gone into oblivion ; no longer there is any hope .
( Pardon me for all the grammatical errors or whatever , I'm not really apt at saying stuff and whatever whatever)
 
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NutOrat

NutOrat

Daydreaming
Jun 11, 2025
143
I physically felt it while reading this, that awful feeling of missing the chance, that is all too familiar to me. It hurts in a very specific way. I'm sorry it happened, OP. Are there any other ways you can contact her? Maybe through other old classmates or acquaintances? Find out if she's ok, at least?

Maybe the healthiest thing to do is try to move on, but I know it's not that simple. Hell, things like this haunt me to this day. I hope you can, though 🫂
 
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