Now I am 100% Sure

[Pretty_Damaged1111]

I absolutely CAN'T be in this narcissistic marriage any longer. Especially when all friends and family either do not care or fell like I deserve the way my husband treats me. Last week, what I thought was a massive panic attack, was more than likely a heart attack. I am not allowed to go to the Dr. I already have Cirrhosis (liver failure) and other physical health problems along with many mental health issues. Last time I was having trouble breathing and couldn't even stand up, back in December I made the mistake of calling an ambulance. The medics said sinus tachycardia and stage 3 hypertension and I needed to go to the hospital. I got scared of what my husband was going to do so I refused. It got worse and I begged him to take me but I wouldn't let him stay there with me. My punishment: he wouldn't pick me up. It was 8pm when I was discharged and I had to walk 4hours home. It was cold, windy, and raining. I was wearing thin sweats, a long sleeve t-shirt, and Birkenstocks. Nobody gave a shit. Now this time when the nurse told me it may have been a heart attack she practically made fun of me when I told her why I couldn't go in. Thinking that my husband not letting me was funny. So I hung up on her. An hour later the police are knocking at my door. Luckily he wasn't home. Needless to say, I didn't answer. They have never helped any other time they have been called out here. He doesn't let me eat. And if he does, it is ramen, canned, soup, and sugary stuff all things I am not supposed to have and he knows that. My last attempt with his gun failed and I went to a psych hospital for a while (voluntarily) after I got home he was mad at me because while I was there I never called to check on HIM and see how HE was doing through all of this. Since then he has made my life extremely worse. Even if I somehow find a way to make it out of here, I have nothing. No friends, no family, nowhere to go, no transportation, no money (he stole my inheritance and car). I will have no life. So I can't do it anymore. I was going to wait til mother's day, but I don't think I can even wait that long. I haven't eaten anything other than Cup-o-Noodle or cookies the last 6 days. I am getting the neck, jaw, back, chest pain and extremely light headed again. No sense in telling anyone because they won't care anyway. So fuck all of them. Fuck them for making me feel like I deserve this abuse. My kids have no problem telling me that they do not give a fuck. I'm done. If you ever see any signs that your partner is a narcissist...RUN FAST AND NEVER LOOK BACK. They show NO MERCY.

 

[expired_dreams]

Your situation sounds absolutely horrifying. I'm so sorry. I wish there were something I could do.

 

[Forever Sleep]

This sounds dreadful. I'm so sorry. I'm pretty sure I grew up with a narcissist and that was hell.

Have you considered looking for some sort of shelter? It absolutely sounds like you need to get away from him and get a restraining order or something. He sounds so abusive. I agree- the moment you think you're in the presence of a narcissist- try and get away.

Sadly- domestic violence is very common as I understand- so- I'm sure there must be charities and organisations that would help. Your situation (sadly) won't be unique.

It's really distressing that neither law enforcement nor the nurses have really picked up on it. Still- it sounds to me more like you don't need some big scene. You need a safe space to flee to and then to go- without him realising. I think that's crucial though- that he doesn't know. As far as I understand- it's when they think you're going to leave that narcissists become the most volatile (and dangerous.) I really hope you can find a way out of this.

 

[FuneralCry]

That really does sound so horrible what you've been through, it's such a hellish world we exist in where people suffer so much all through no fault of their own. But anyway I wish you the best.