Venting Nothing really changes when you CTB

[jsker]

I remember learning that one of my old friends CTB in a school assembly that they forgot to pull me out of. The vibe in the room didn't shift from when they were reading out the daily announcements, and the only commotion came from me leaving the room in tears (I was a teenager) which really goes to show that people that are gone are just that, gone. The people close to them will feel bad for a while, but no one cares about a person that isn't right in front of them, let alone dead. People will tell you that CTB is selfish because it will make everyone feel worse for you doing so, but this is an insanely optimistic worldview. Humans are designed to be desensitised to death and to get over it pretty quickly, just this morning an ambulance showed up at an old friends house with him being wheeled out on a stretcher and it only made for a passing comment at breakfast.

You know that feeling you might get when someone tells you that if you CTB it will hurt the people around you? Like they're saying it through gritted teeth? They probably are.

 

[khairan]

I guess it depends on the part of the world you're on. Where I live people are more trusting and emotionally open and I've seen some genuine grief. Sure, some of them are more performative and people are inherently selfish but overall I would argue people is very empathetic around these parts (not quite in the shithole city I live in but in general in my country and region people is very nice and helpful).

I believe the worst thing that ever happened is the internet because many places in the world adopted an American like mindset and humanity overall became more unfeeling, sadistic and detached. Back in the day people of my region was much better, even if they're not as bad as in other parts of the world. Overall things are relatively good in poorer and rural areas like in the good ol days. The larger cities are absolutely fucked.

 

[jsker]

Its generally good for society for people to think others care for them, but we are selfish at our core. I live in New Zealand and it is like this - there were absolutely performative mourners, but at least they bothered to make it look like they cared. I guess my point is that even if people do genuinely care, people get over it in a year tops. I definitely got on with my life a lot earlier than that, and we were quite close. CTB just isn't as world shattering as people would have you believe.

 

[astroproto]

I remember learning that one of my old friends CTB in a school assembly that they forgot to pull me out of. The vibe in the room didn't shift from when they were reading out the daily announcements, and the only commotion came from me leaving the room in tears (I was a teenager) which really goes to show that people that are gone are just that, gone. The people close to them will feel bad for a while, but no one cares about a person that isn't right in front of them, let alone dead. People will tell you that CTB is selfish because it will make everyone feel worse for you doing so, but this is an insanely optimistic worldview. Humans are designed to be desensitised to death and to get over it pretty quickly, just this morning an ambulance showed up at an old friends house with him being wheeled out on a stretcher and it only made for a passing comment at breakfast.

You know that feeling you might get when someone tells you that if you CTB it will hurt the people around you? Like they're saying it through gritted teeth? They probably are.

Generally, when people say it's selfish, they're really more so talking about loved ones, not really people in general. Also maybe the people who have to deal with your body afterwards.

 

[FadingSnowFake]

This is true, I think it depends on the relationship with the person as you say. People die every day from various causes, and if we don't know them, life just goes on. Life is fleeting, and nobody is special since we all die one way or another.

If I were to ctb or drop dead, whichever way, I think it may affect only two people, one being my mom. But I don't have close friends or anyone really who would miss me. I'm sure people who have more social connections leave their marks behind and may be grieved and remembered for long. I still remember friends who passed away over 20 years ago, I'm 50. When my dad passed when I was 13, I did not shed a tear or feel any sadness, but when another childhood friend shot herself almost six years ago, I cried and I still remember her.

 

[slapntickle]

I often think about this topic. The sad fact is that some people are much more missed than others, but the 'good' thing is that (I think) generally speaking, the people who have glittering careers, a tight and loving family and group of friends, and who are generally just 'well loved' are far more less likely to CBT than those who don't have those things. Obviously, it's because they have those things that are more likely to stay alive. Every so often someone slips through the net - I always think of Anthony Bourdain as an example of that. He was universally loved, revered, respected, successful and all the rest, but he obviously just had demons he couldn't overcome. To a lesser degree, Greg Giraldo (a standup comic) - also had a great career and was loved by many. People like Bourdain will be remembered - by his books, his TV, his impact on popular culture etc. But an average Joe, who was depressed, lonely, had few social connections or did anything of note? Beyond their close family, I doubt they'll be remembered beyond a single generation. Even a few months after their death, life will return to normal to virtually everybody. Most people just aren't that important.

 

[U. A.]

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