Venting Nothing is exciting

[chobonzi]

Anybody else just dread everyday life because of not finding excitement or joy in anything anymore? Back in the day when id be depressed id still find some joys and excitement. Anymore everything is just bleak at best. Going out? Still no fun. Talking to people? No fun. I get sleep but its filled with nightmares and vivid dreams and im always waking up covered in sweat. I get no relief at all. Life just seems tedious and not worth the effort. I dont even enjoy music anymore. I hate life

 

[unabletocope]

Yes. Worn down by life and flattened into the ground.

 

[anhedonya]

I completely understand. I'm a naturally obsessive person and it's already painful when I don't have anything to put massive amounts of effort into every single day- the kind of effort where you forget to eat or sleep because you're so consumed. But then on top of that this sheer lack of interest I've had in anything at all for the past few months has really taken a lot out of me. Even when I watch something or try to engage in activities that used to be fun for me, it's just a chore. It's just repetition. I listen to music to pass the time, not because it particularly moves me or something. I'm so bored all of the time. Every day I feel this empty boredom consuming me. Nobody and nothing has fixed this- not even drugs or alcohol. I'm sorry that you know what this feeling is like.

 

[escape_from_hell]

Anhedonia
Right there with you. It fucking sucks. Look forward to nothing. Movies/music/video games etc. The further I keep getting from humanity, the less I can connect to art anyway.
Agreed it was better when life sucked ass but I could zone out listening to music or mindlessly watching shows or reading supposedly intellectually stimulating books. Now, even drugs hardly do shit. Can't drink alcohol just feel like shit (life was better as a functional alcohol even though I knew it was all fake).
Also jealous of some who have anhedonia but "feel nothing at all" like a total numbness. I have no pleasure. But I sure as hell can feel pain and sadness.

Wish I had a recommendation or solution for you. My only semi-joy in life is first coffee in the morning I think it has some capability to just barely stimulate dopamine just enough. Like 3-4 minutes of 'okayness' but have chronic pain so it's like a distant okayness.

All I can recommend is drugs. Helps me only be crying or in a state of intense terror/anxiety attack for only 1-4 hours per day instead of 16-24.
That and reading SaSu thinking it is helping me get closer to the sweet release of death, but actually still having no will or guts but just a complete coward without the ability to take the steps needed to get what needs to get done, done (once and for all).

 

[Ambivalent1]

Life is a sentence. Prison and grammatical.

 

[Eudaimonic]

Yeah, I don't experience joy anymore.

 

[thealteredmind]

I completely understand. I'm a naturally obsessive person and it's already painful when I don't have anything to put massive amounts of effort into every single day- the kind of effort where you forget to eat or sleep because you're so consumed. But then on top of that this sheer lack of interest I've had in anything at all for the past few months has really taken a lot out of me. Even when I watch something or try to engage in activities that used to be fun for me, it's just a chore. It's just repetition. I listen to music to pass the time, not because it particularly moves me or something. I'm so bored all of the time. Every day I feel this empty boredom consuming me. Nobody and nothing has fixed this- not even drugs or alcohol. I'm sorry that you know what this feeling is like.

yeah like... everything I do is to pass the time. I'm making an album though... but still.. the enjoyment is so minimal and it's mostly to fill my time

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly dread existing, in fact in my case I've never wished for existence in the first place, I personally have no interest in suffering in this undesirable existence that was always so futile. Human existence is just a pointless and dreadful burden to me, more than anything I wish I never existed at all, I wish I stayed permanently unaware, all that appeals to me is not existing for all eternity, I find it comforting to think of this existence disappearing into nothingness.

 

[chobonzi]

Anhedonia
Right there with you. It fucking sucks. Look forward to nothing. Movies/music/video games etc. The further I keep getting from humanity, the less I can connect to art anyway.
Agreed it was better when life sucked ass but I could zone out listening to music or mindlessly watching shows or reading supposedly intellectually stimulating books. Now, even drugs hardly do shit. Can't drink alcohol just feel like shit (life was better as a functional alcohol even though I knew it was all fake).
Also jealous of some who have anhedonia but "feel nothing at all" like a total numbness. I have no pleasure. But I sure as hell can feel pain and sadness.

Wish I had a recommendation or solution for you. My only semi-joy in life is first coffee in the morning I think it has some capability to just barely stimulate dopamine just enough. Like 3-4 minutes of 'okayness' but have chronic pain so it's like a distant okayness.

All I can recommend is drugs. Helps me only be crying or in a state of intense terror/anxiety attack for only 1-4 hours per day instead of 16-24.
That and reading SaSu thinking it is helping me get closer to the sweet release of death, but actually still having no will or guts but just a complete coward without the ability to take the steps needed to get what needs to get done, done (once and for all).

I used drugs to cope with life for a long time and i would still be if i wasn't on parole. The only thing i can do is get a medical card for pot. Last few times i smoked or ate edibles, it gave me extreme panic attacks so idek if thats a good idea. I just want this suffering to end. Im so tired of being hurt and hurting other people. I was told "you make me sad" by just being around. So like, i try ro limit my human interaction in general because i don't want to have anyone else feel like crap just because I'm dealing with my own issues. This place is the only place i get any sort of understanding it seems. I wish they had in person SaSu meetings like AA/NA meetings hahaha.

 

[EmptyHeaded]

I feel similar. Nothing worth getting up for, nothing worth staying up for. When I'm up, there's nothing worth doing so I just sit and do nothing for hours until I can go back to bed.

Also jealous of some who have anhedonia but "feel nothing at all" like a total numbness. I have no pleasure. But I sure as hell can feel pain and sadness.

Honestly, I'd trade with you if it was possible, as weird as that may sound. I'm at a point where I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all.

 

[Stinger4771]

I wish nothing was exciting. Nothing is all I have

 

[divinemistress36]

I look at everything that people do for fun and most of it seems pointless. This is why I don't really have friends