Nothing in particular. Just guilt and shame.

[lost guy]

I am about to do a huge line of cocaine. It is relatively high quality and it just popped into my lap. I haven't done cocaine in quite sometime. I feel guilty. But as some may know, the high is very uplifting. Fortunately, I have 1.5 mg of klonopin to ease my anxiety tomorrow. The sun is about to come up. As many of you may know, I'm pretty much low key on here but hopefully I put on a positive vibe. I severely depressed, 40 years old and this is not what I want out of life. Guilt. But I will live it up. This place has been good to me.

I am about to do a huge line of cocaine. It is relatively high quality and it just popped into my lap. I haven't done cocaine in quite sometime. I feel guilty. But as some may know, the high is very uplifting. Fortunately, I have 1.5 mg of klonopin to ease my anxiety tomorrow. The sun is about to come up. As many of you may know, I'm pretty much low key on here but hopefully I put on a positive vibe. I severely depressed, 40 years old and this is not what I want out of life. Guilt. But I will live it up. This place has been good to me.

Why am I posting this here? I have no clue. Must be the euphoria. As good as it feels, if feels equally as terrible. I want my life back. I know many of you here struggle with so many worse things than me. I should be humble. Even though I mostly keep to my self here, I fell all of your pains. There is great people here. I am humble. But I hurt despite being capable of breaking through. I am my worst enemy. I am a sloth. There must be something deeper that is holding me back. I used to have it all. And now I feel shameful because of f this cocaine ramble. I am better than this.

 

[OblivionSeeker]

Best wishes to you, Brother. I struggle with self hatred, and guilt/shame....this site sure helps. to let it out.