shiftingtendons
( Ķ Ģą¶ .Ģ« ą¶ Ģ Ķ) they/them
- Nov 15, 2025
- 77
some time ago i started planning my ctb and setting a date, bought SN and I'm waiting for it to arrive in a few days
something in me made me seek help idk i thought that maybe i could make things better. i have psychiatric support since august of 2025, and it's been good until this time ig. i explicitly said that i already have a plan, already have a date and I'm just waiting, just so my psychiatrist knows it's a serious call for help
but like... nothing he says makes me change my mind. my close friend tried guilt tripping me when i vented, said she would ctb too if i succeeded
but was it supposed to help? i feel nothing. i still want to just end things, even if you go together, even if my family will suffer forever. it must sound so egotistical and makes me a bad person for thinking this way, but living makes me so miserable i can't empathize or care anymore...
am i the only one that feels this way? has anyone tried searching for help and too just didn't change their mind?
something in me made me seek help idk i thought that maybe i could make things better. i have psychiatric support since august of 2025, and it's been good until this time ig. i explicitly said that i already have a plan, already have a date and I'm just waiting, just so my psychiatrist knows it's a serious call for help
but like... nothing he says makes me change my mind. my close friend tried guilt tripping me when i vented, said she would ctb too if i succeeded
but was it supposed to help? i feel nothing. i still want to just end things, even if you go together, even if my family will suffer forever. it must sound so egotistical and makes me a bad person for thinking this way, but living makes me so miserable i can't empathize or care anymore...am i the only one that feels this way? has anyone tried searching for help and too just didn't change their mind?
