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sadstuffie

sadstuffie

Student
Aug 11, 2020
161
every time I think she'll treat me better & stop abusing me, she proves me wrong. I'm sorry for being vague, I dont enjoy talking about my abuse that much.
I've never considered hanging before because it scares me, but maybe I'll like it. will research more tomorrow night when I'm alone. either way, I'm too poor to afford rope or medicine right now. it sucks having to wait to die. why doesnt anyone care? why do people enjoy hurting me over & over? I don't wanna be excluded anymore, I dont wanna be hit anymore. I just want to have fun & be happy. maybe I'm only here to be sad.
maybe the choking/suffocation would feel nice to me. but I'm worried about how I'll look just hanging there. I'm sorry this is stupid. hope everyone is doing better than me. love you
 
W

WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,165
The world and people are very unfair. You deserve to be happy. Sorry life has brought you all these damn problems.
Whatever method you pick, just read a lot about it in order to do a proper research.

I'll try partial hanging (again) next year and I hope it really works this time.
 
S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,102
I know the cycle. Express grief and sadness and plan on leaving, then get lovebombed, once you say that you wont leave, then they revert back to their usual abusive self by laying down demands and control. Went through it last night with STBXW.
 
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sadstuffie

sadstuffie

Student
Aug 11, 2020
161
I know the cycle. Express grief and sadness and plan on leaving, then get lovebombed, once you say that you wont leave, then they revert back to their usual abusive self by laying down demands and control. Went through it last night with STBXW.
exactly. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know how painful it is, no person deserves this. it's endless.
 
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Reactions: Symbiote
S

Symbiote

Global Mod
Oct 12, 2020
3,102
exactly. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know how painful it is, no person deserves this. it's endless.
Do you have an escape plan that doesn't involve your death or are you trapped? I'm gonna try my escape plan before I decide to CTB to see if it works out or not.
 
drwt

drwt

Member
Dec 1, 2020
58
Can't you get out of the place or relationship that's hurting you?
 
sadstuffie

sadstuffie

Student
Aug 11, 2020
161
Do you have an escape plan that doesn't involve your death or are you trapped? I'm gonna try my escape plan before I decide to CTB to see if it works out or not.
I'm kinda trapped for now I think. I'm still trying to escape, but lots of the time death seems way easier.
Can't you get out of the place or relationship that's hurting you?
it's hard. I'm kinda stuck for now. I'm more afraid of change than I am of death. besides, they want me to die.
 

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