Notes to friends and family

[PatheticRylee]

do you guys plan on writing a note to your friends or family when you CTB? Why or why not? I'm trying to get others POV on this topic :)

 

[XYZ]

No. Nothing to say to anyone. The person closest to me knows I struggle and have been doing so for many years. They'll know why I ctb. How about you? What are you leaning towards?

 

[paramhansyogi]

i m not gonna write because it doesnt matter what u write eventually they r gonna forgot all about u

 

[PatheticRylee]

No. Nothing to say to anyone. The person closest to me knows I struggle and have been doing so for many years. They'll know why I ctb. How about you? What are you leaning towards?

Idk im stuck in between the 2, I'll probably at the very least write a paragraph to my best friend she she has some sort of closure since she also struggles with depression and I want her to take it as well as possible, I wanna try to alleviate her blaming herself, etc. but to my mom, idk I haven't decided yet.

 

[ladolcemorte]

I used to draft lengthy letters but I have decided against that. However, I still want to make a final statement and I also want to leave a clue as to what happened to me. (I'm jumping and in case no one sees me I don't want my parents to think I just went missing).

I plan to post a pic of the view from my bridge to my facebook with the message "vado verso l'infinita nella speranza che la prossima vita sia meglia" ( which means "I am going toward infinity in the hope that the next life will be better", but it sounds better in Italian)

 

[XYZ]

Idk im stuck in between the 2, I'll probably at the very least write a paragraph to my best friend she she has some sort of closure since she also struggles with depression and I want her to take it as well as possible, I wanna try to alleviate her blaming herself, etc. but to my mom, idk I haven't decided yet.

I get it. If your closest friend is unaware of what you are going through, a note might give her closure.

Because I have lived with suicidal ideation for many years, I have no difficulties in accepting and understanding when people ctb. I don't even need to know the reason. Whatever it was, it was real bad and it caused them so much pain that they could not take it.

But I'm guessing "normal" people need an explanation, they need to know the why.

Thx for sharing.

 

[psychoticxerror]

Idk im stuck in between the 2, I'll probably at the very least write a paragraph to my best friend she she has some sort of closure since she also struggles with depression and I want her to take it as well as possible, I wanna try to alleviate her blaming herself, etc. but to my mom, idk I haven't decided yet.

I'm sure your friend would be so grateful for that. If there was someone I felt close to I'd probably write a note for them. The people in my life should know some of the many reasons why I want to ctb, especially those who contributed to it. I do intend to leave one final message to help tie loose ends though since I don't have any assets that would require a will. May I ask why the hesitation regarding your mom?

 

[Grav]

I would write, definitely. While I think most of the world is garbage and should burn, there are people who I feel I should give some explanation and final thoughts, mostly for my family. Siblings, not so much to say since they know the background. Friends, just "catch ya later and thanks for the fun times". But when I think of committing something to paper (besides a list of who should get what of my hobby stuff) I start getting pulled back, even if just so my daughter doesn't have to endure years of questioning. I'm more of a "I am tired of it, it's not going to get better, and I quit" kind of depressed person and I don't harbor any direct anger to anyone, just apathy mostly. There was a time when I want to give a big old FO to people but that was many years ago. Existing just to not have to wreck someone isn't really living but if there's any kind of "something else" afterwards it would be pretty crappy of me to just go away. I think I'd have to write a lot because I wouldn't want my last words to be "you did this and that and it made me feel bad", I want to give them some thanks for the good times, the bad we got through, and if there's somewhere I'm going afterwards I'll check in if I can. But that's a hard thing to long hand write out for 18+ years of experiences. Maybe a video would be a better option? I'm a pen/pencil nerd as well so typing a last message seems so "blah" and like most of the world, without any feeling. I'm on kind of an upswing mood wise so please read this as someone not ready to CTB in the foreseeable future, for now. I recognize everyone has their experiences and this is just me.

 

[VIBRITANNIA]

yes. i want to tell them my true thoughts, so that they can't twist my image to their liking (although, they'll probably still do that). it'll get a load off my chest, which is a good thing, since i want to die with as little stress as possible.

 

[PatheticRylee]

I'm sure your friend would be so grateful for that. If there was someone I felt close to I'd probably write a note for them. The people in my life should know some of the many reasons why I want to ctb, especially those who contributed to it. I do intend to leave one final message to help tie loose ends though since I don't have any assets that would require a will. May I ask why the hesitation regarding your mom?

I don't really have a reason outside of just being unsure if its what i want to do tbh

 

[Sarahlynn]

I will leave notes. I feel a lot of guilt for going this way, I have people who truly love me and will be devastated. Hopefully my note will bring some comfort, alleviate their guilt. I will steer the blame towards the health care system who should have taken me seriously years ago, and the social services for not allowing me to live without heavy economic concerns for the rest of my life. That might turn some of their grief into anger towards the system instead.

 

[PatheticRylee]

I will leave notes. I feel a lot of guilt for going this way, I have people who truly love me and will be devastated. Hopefully my note will bring some comfort, alleviate their guilt. I will steer the blame towards the health care system who should have taken me seriously years ago, and the social services for not allowing me to live without heavy economic concerns for the rest of my life. That might turn some of their grief into anger towards the system instead.

I agree with this allot, I have my best friend who I know cares deeply for me and I hate that she's going to get hurt by my death, but I just can't hold on, not even for her :(

 

[Silver]

I have written notes to explain why. I am good at hiding how I feel so this will come as a surprise to everyone.

 

[J113632]

I've always imagined that I would leave a note. I've written quite a few over the years. But at the same time I feel like it's pointless to write out a big explanation about how I feel. Nobody understood me while I was alive and even if I tried to spell it out for them, I don't think they would get it. I don't get it sometimes. So the note I think I'll leave is just a simple one saying it's not anybody's fault and just leave it at that.

 

[Sinai Silence]

I don't think I will for my family. There's a couple of notes I want to write for specific people, although I haven't talked to them in ages. It's difficult to find the right words to say.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

I'm still writing a note. It's not going to be addressed to anyone specific, because I am very quiet about anything that goes on in my life except with people who I feel close to, and there have only been a few... All of which are gone now. My note is intended to be anonymous; I just want to explain to someone or anyone who finds it why I did it without them knowing who wrote it. It's going to be like a "Message in a bottle" that you see in movies and stories... Except it isn't anything cool like a treasure map just a nobody killing themself.

 

[catsarecool]

I wrote the closest people to me little personalized notes. With my family I'll probably make a small note telling them not to blame themselves and whatever.

 

[Silver]

I've always imagined that I would leave a note. I've written quite a few over the years. But at the same time I feel like it's pointless to write out a big explanation about how I feel. Nobody understood me while I was alive and even if I tried to spell it out for them, I don't think they would get it. I don't get it sometimes. So the note I think I'll leave is just a simple one saying it's not anybody's fault and just leave it at that.

True, my family don't understand me in life and I doubt they will understand in death. But at least I'll know I've tried to explain my point of view.

 

[Huntfish34]

Not quite sure yet.. I was thinking about a whole bunch of Fuck you's with Numerous Thanks and love to those I see fit. Or .. I'll be pushed into it and won't write a word.

 

[J113632]

True, my family don't understand me in life and I doubt they will understand in death. But at least I'll know I've tried to explain my point of view.

Yeah I understand. It is fucked up imagining years of your loved ones never really knowing anything about why exactly you did it.

 

[PatheticRylee]

I'm still writing a note. It's not going to be addressed to anyone specific, because I am very quiet about anything that goes on in my life except with people who I feel close to, and there have only been a few... All of which are gone now. My note is intended to be anonymous; I just want to explain to someone or anyone who finds it why I did it without them knowing who wrote it. It's going to be like a "Message in a bottle" that you see in movies and stories... Except it isn't anything cool like a treasure map just a nobody killing themself.

that' a quite interesting concept and is kinda a good idea, that would possibly help the person who finds you not be scarred for life if its a normal civilian or something

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I've written twenty notes to certain people. Most are notes of love and appreciation. Three are notes to people who betrayed me. I've also written one long note that I hope to post publicly to everyone who knows me. In Microsoft Word, it's 12 pages long. It basically tells my story and why I decided to do what I did. I go back and edit them regularly.