Note poll

[Gsvko]

Probably been asked a thousand times, but will you?

 

[silent staring void]

I originally didn't want to, but then I started reading on a forum for people who lost a loved one to suicide and it seems like it is a huge burden to them not to know why they did it. So now I'm thinking I should leave one.
But all I can think of are cliched phrases like "There is nothing you could have done to stop this....." "I tried everything I could, but I was just suffering too much...". It just seems dishonest. My real reasons would just raise more questions than they would answer.
Hmmmm...
I think the best option would be to talk to your loved ones about suicide while you are still alive.

 

[FuneralCry]

I feel like I would leave one to try and give those left behind some closure and will mean that they are not left with unanswered questions. It might help them to understand why I chose to do this, even know I doubt they would ever fully understand.

 

[Bedrock48]

I will be, yes. Although I've seen mixed reactions among people who've lost people to suicide I think a fair few are glad to have a note or other information as to what happened. I think it's a bit of peace of mind for those who want to read it.

For me as well it feels like giving myself some closure and getting it all out there before I go. I update it every few months or so so it always feels relevant to my most current struggles.

 

[houseofleaves]

I think about writing many different notes. To each friend, for example (why not).

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Mine will say...

I TRANSFER MY PAIN TO YOU. HAVE FUN! UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD I BE GIVEN A FUNERAL. I DO NOT WANT ONE. I LEAVE ALL MY MONEY AND POSSESSIONS TO MY YOUNGER BROTHER. CREMATE ME AND SPREAD MY ASHES OVER THE GRASS IN THE OLD CEMETERY. AS DAD ALWAYS LIKED TO SAY TO ME WHEN I WAS A CHILD, 'NEVER HAVE KIDS'. BYE.

 

[fatefulstillness]

I'm not sure yet. If I do, it would be something to do for others, not myself. But I doubt a suicide note helps.

 

[unkuto]

Idk tbh. If I'm going be gone nothing would matter. The note isn't going to change anything.

 

[Gsvko]

I TRANSFER MY PAIN TO YOU. HAVE FUN! UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD I BE GIVEN A FUNERAL. I DO NOT WANT ONE. I LEAVE ALL MY MONEY AND POSSESSIONS TO MY YOUNGER BROTHER. CREMATE ME AND SPREAD MY ASHES OVER THE GRASS IN THE OLD CEMETERY. AS DAD ALWAYS LIKED TO SAY TO ME WHEN I WAS A CHILD, 'NEVER HAVE KIDS'. BYE.

I give it 10/10 for honesty and a bonus point for caps lock. I imagined it in calligraphy.
On a side note, your dad sounds like a jerk.

Used to love old cemeteries, played in one that looks like your pic when I was little, thinking I'm hanging out with my ancestors. That vine looks beautiful to me, better than plastic flowers.

 

[Huntfish34]

I've been debating on this for a bit,. Still not quite sure.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

I give it 10/10 for honesty and a bonus point for caps lock. I imagined it in calligraphy.
On a side note, your dad sounds like a jerk.

Used to love old cemeteries, played in one that looks like your pic when I was little, thinking I'm hanging out with my ancestors. That vine looks beautiful to me, better than plastic flowers.

I think it rounds it off nicely - should make my Mum blame my Dad, and their relationship will turn to shit in their 70s, and they'll both be dead in no time from the stress, and then my little brother will have the house to himself. My Dad is a jerk, but when he said it, my Mum would say nothing, so she's a jerk too!

The cemetery is near my house. I love it there, like you said, because it feels like your ancestors are there. My great-grandparents are there, and likely many others as they date back to the late 1700s, and my family has been local here since the 1600s. A very well known British political figure, and one of my idols, is buried there too, and I sometimes stand at his grave and talk, as I know he'd hate what is currently happening socially and politically in this country. I won't say his name, as that would give away my location!

 

[CrazyNihilist]

I LEAVE ALL MY MONEY AND POSSESSIONS TO MY YOUNGER BROTHER.

This would not hold up in the USA and all of your possessions would go to probate court. It would be a very lengthy court process for your brother to recover any of your assetts or money. You really should do a legal zoom will or have one drafted by an estate planning attorney to avoid that. You end up causing them even more pain in trying to get your wishes honored by the State in court if you don't have a legal will.
I left a note for my 1st attempt and will leave another one when I successfully CTB.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

This would not hold up in the USA and all of your possessions would go to probate court. It would be a very lengthy court process for your brother to recover any of your assetts or money. You really should do a legal zoom will or have one drafted by an estate planning attorney to avoid that. You end up causing them even more pain in trying to get your wishes honored by the State in court if you don't have a legal will.

From what I can make out, here in the UK it will all go to my parents, who I know will honour my note.

 

[Manaaja]

I originally wanted to and have written several notes during the years, but now my answer is nah.

Those who know know and those who don't know don't know.

 

[NorseHel]

Yes.

This may come off as me being full of myself, but honestly if I still have the energy by that point I'd probably write a few pages worth at least, and definitely leave something for each person I care enough about. It's just that I'm sure there will be so much that's been left unsaid, a lot of which I feel I can't say while still alive, for whichever reason. For example I'm very closed off to my parents due to anxiety, and I feel like if I'm going to put them through this loss, maybe I can at least let them truly get to know me in death. As for my friends, I'd want them to know how much I love them, and to reassure them that this is what I wanted, and that I wouldn't have done it if I had a better option.

Just putting myself in their shoes, if any of my friends were to ctb, I think knowing what their final thoughts were, their motivations, and knowing they were at peace with their decision, would bring me a kind of closure that would be hard to find otherwise. Not to mention, something to hold on to and remember them by. That's why I want to leave a note.

 

[Gsvko]

I think it rounds it off nicely - should make my Mum blame my Dad, and their relationship will turn to shit in their 70s, and they'll both be dead in no time from the stress, and then my little brother will have the house to himself. My Dad is a jerk, but when he said it, my Mum would say nothing, so she's a jerk too!

Can relate, both of my parents didn't care, although they've never said it, they spoke with actions. I'd often ask: why tf did you even give birth.

Those who know know and those who don't know don't know.

Same. If you cared, you would've known.

 

[symphony]

I was originally planning a full-ass essay. My current draft is complete at two sentences. Beyond that, I plan to leave a set of instructions and "last wishes". I'll be sending a delayed email to my best friend so people don't have to wonder what happened and my body can be found. I'll be a little more personal in that email but no one else will get a similar treatment.

 

[Pain In The Ass]

Can relate, both of my parents didn't care, although they've never said it, they spoke with actions. I'd often ask: why tf did you even give birth.

Same. If you cared, you would've known.

Apparently, my Mum lost a baby in the late 70s and blamed him because he was drinking and stressing her out all the time... and then she had 3 more with him! If I was gonna be really spiteful I'd write... 2 DOWN, 2 TO GO!!!

 

[Hercules]

No, I am not going to write a note. I don't feel that I have to justify my reasons for ctb to anybody.

I'm doubtful how helpful a suicide note actually is. I feel that the note could easily be glossed over, because people will believe whatever they want to believe no matter what you write. I don't feel a note stating your reasons is going to necessarily comfort and bring closure to those you leave behind. If the situation was reversed, a long suicide note explaining that someone close to me ctb for X reason wouldn't make me feel any better about losing them. It may even cause me to ask more questions.

 

[barelys4ne]

I'm planning out on writing individual notes to everyone I've been close with and helped me see some the beauty in life. They at the very least deserve some closure, my parents will not be getting one.

 

[Gsvko]

Apparently, my Mum lost a baby in the late 70s and blamed him because he was drinking and stressing her out all the time... and then she had 3 more with him! If I was gonna be really spiteful I'd write... 2 DOWN, 2 TO GO!!!

My brother would beat me in front of them and tell me ways in which I should kms. What is even your role, bitch. All you give me is food. Jeez thanks. No wonder I became anorexic.

 

[All Done]

I'll leave no notes to anyone. I must wait until I can get far enough away from anyone who knew or knows me. I want to leave enough distance between us so that only complete strangers will have to deal with the physical remains. I want it to be as much of a disappearance as possible. I think even if you have an identification card on you, a wallet, a phone, whatever, some poor person from the life you've left behind must identify the body (unless the body is totally destroyed, which I don't think is the way most of us want to ctb).

 

[bloodfallsfirst]

Mine: "There was nothing you could have done. I would have done this regardless. Give all my stuff to Z. With love, K."

 

[deleted]

before I die I will destroy personal items and give some things to my friend, but by no means will I explain my reasons to people who don't understand me, I'm just going to make it clear that I don't want a funeral at all I don't know if this is considered a farewell letter

 

[Pain In The Ass]

My brother would beat me in front of them and tell me ways in which I should kms. What is even your role, bitch. All you give me is food. Jeez thanks. No wonder I became anorexic.

Sorry that happened. I have a friend with 2 daughters, and the older one pushes the younger one around, and they don't say anything. The younger one sometimes gets up in the middle of the night and dresses up in the older one's clothes. Like she thinks life would be better if she was her big sister instead. That's so sad that at 4 years old she's already wishing she was someone else.

 

[Cathy Ames]

I'm thinking about writing a suicide note to be sent to various politicians and maybe forward it with a press release for all of the local media outlets. I mean, it is "news" of a sort that a suicidal person saw fit to write to the people who contributed to her suffering and despair and chose to let them know all about it. Oh, and I'll probably write one for the family and friends, too.

P.S. Except, who am I kidding? I'm a procrastinator. The time will come and it'll be too late for writing.

 

[Gsvko]

Sorry that happened. I have a friend with 2 daughters, and the older one pushes the younger one around, and they don't say anything. The younger one sometimes gets up in the middle of the night and dresses up in the older one's clothes. Like she thinks life would be better if she was her big sister instead. That's so sad that at 4 years old she's already wishing she was someone else.

Hate seeing that, hope she'll be okay. I used to babysit a 4yo who'd steal everything that's mine, part of it is myb looking up to older, I hope. Sorry for you too bro, not that it helps.

P.S. Except, who am I kidding? I'm a procrastinator. The time will come and it'll be too late for writing.

Ha, feel you on that. I can write 2 eloquent sentences last minute if it's for a grade, but starting out's the hardest.

 

[wljourney]

I'm thinking about writing a suicide note to be sent to various politicians and maybe forward it with a press release for all of the local media outlets. I mean, it is "news" of a sort that a suicidal person saw fit to write to the people who contributed to her suffering and despair and chose to let them know all about it. Oh, and I'll probably write one for the family and friends, too.

P.S. Except, who am I kidding? I'm a procrastinator. The time will come and it'll be too late for writing.

This happens fairly often. Sadly most of the time it ends up either being ignored (because it's the illness making the writer unreliable) or it is forwarded to local authorities and ends up with a "wellness check", which can end up deadly, especially for BIPOC.

You would have to word this very carefully, as to avoid coming across as "ill".

I've been thinking about this myself quite a bit but most people don't understand how a politicians policy decisions can affect your situation so profoundly, that you choose death.

Few ever will.

 

[CrazyNihilist]

I've been thinking about this myself quite a bit but most people don't understand how a politicians policy decisions can affect your situation so profoundly, that you choose death.

I think very few politicians would ever care about a note like this. It doesn't benefit them in any way and they just dismiss it saying you were crazy to kill yourself. These people are narcissistic and only value what keeps them in power.

 

[Al_stargate]

I'll probably leave a note, short and sweet. If it involves finances I recommend leaving a will behind or sort out bank account so to have beneficiary.