note becoming too long (overkill?)

[mabel]

okay so im getting VERY close to the end (going to ctb before valentines) and i have been working on my note and i am just wondering if ive gotten to the point where its just too much

i feel like i have a lot to say and i want to be able to explain everything as much as possible since i still live with my family and want my death to hurt as little as possible

so i started writing in this notebook a little while ago and its quickly evolved from a suicide note to a suicide NOVEL

atm i have over 20 pages and i havent even started the pages meant for specific people. i have pages apologizing, explaining why its a good thing, my wishes, and tons of reasoning. i have this all planned out so perfectly and i need there to be closure

the thing is, as i am writing and writing all i can think about is how much shorter most people's notes are. will mine even get read at this point? i feel like i have so many thoughts that would be impossible for me to get out in any other context, but am i just wasting my time with all of this?

i feel like the reaction will be like "damn that sucks that you died and all, but i am NOT reading all that shit "

 

[Dingusguy]

I think a long note or "novel" as you put it is completely fine, if you have a lot to say after your passing it only makes sense the note is very long. I think you should keep writing, and finish it without worrying about the length of the actual note. It will definitely get read, and I imagine the pages for specific people will be given or read out to them.

I also tried writing a note a while back and it also become more of an Essay rather than note but I think that's okay honestly. Some people only a few words to say, others have a book's worth.

 

[Lookingtoflyfree]

I think you write it as long as you need to to feel like you're explaining everything.

I haven't begun to write anything but have a list of who I would mention and how they hurt me. I want them to suffer knowing their bullying caused me so much pain I needed to end my misery. I would love nothing more than them to feel despair and guilt. There has been no justice in this life time so why not at the end. Their suffering is my freedom and healing.

 

[turbomightbegone]

honestly dude? fuck it, make a whole suicide series if you have to atp. your note is yours, and it'd probably contain your reason. at the end of the day it's probably gonna be the last thing you leave behind,, so I wouldn't stress abt the length too much

if you're worried abt your note not being read,, I suggest maybe writing a shorter version on a separate page/piece of paper… has all the key points but short enough for someone to read it in like,, what, 5-10 minutes? idk I myself haven't wrote a suicide note before,, but it could be a good idea if you feel like people won't read your entire note.

 

[stilhavinightmares]

I agree that your note is YOURS and it will communicate things far after you're gone. Say everything you want and need.

I always worry that people are going to feel bad or I'm not going to be able to express what I want to people. I don't want it to seem like there's favoritism or people to get insulted if they didn't get their own letter or section.

Literally always people pleasing.

I guess I should take my own advice/what I said to you. :) There are no rules and once we're gone none of it will matter anyway, right?

 

[kawaiiphantom]

In my opinion I think it's probably good to have that long of a note, getting everything you want to say out before you pass I feel like the people who care about you might have more closure and I feel it would be better than leaving a lot of unanswered questions, and they will have something to remember you by. I know how you feel I felt the same way while writing mine personally I plan on making a bunch of paintings to leave behind for the people I care about :] btw I love your profile pic and name, gravity falls is amazing!!! (*^^*)♡

 

[Argo]

the thing is, as i am writing and writing all i can think about is how much shorter most people's notes are. will mine even get read at this point? i feel like i have so many thoughts that would be impossible for me to get out in any other context, but am i just wasting my time with all of this?

i feel like the reaction will be like "damn that sucks that you died and all, but i am NOT reading all that shit "

Some people have a lower tolerance for lots of words, and there's not really anything wrong with that, it's just that you can't do much about it. I do relate to you, I tend to have these longwinded writings, where point a connects to point b and c and I just let thoughts flow. You probably have a mind that creates rich patterns, that's a strength of yours, it's who you are, and it's why I said "you can't do much about it"-- it would mean changing who you are. On the other hand, it definitely is a kind of skill to hone that characteristic so others who read what you write don't have their eyes glaze over when they see 1,000 words in front of them followed by several pages.

I'd ask myself who am I trying to reach? Am I trying to reach the person who would connect with my letter if it was 100 words, but would say "tl;dr" if it was 1,000? (Probably not, right? )

It is a form of kindness to make your letter accessible to others, so the crucial points here as far as I can see are, 1) "Do I understand who is reading this?" and 2) "How much effort am I comfortable putting into this to reach the people I want to reach?" Once you figure those two things out, everything should be fine.