T
Tiredofhurting
Member
- Feb 26, 2021
- 65
I have been lurking in here for awhile. A little about me. I tried to ctb last year around August. I did hanging partial handing. It would have worked but the anchor point was to weak and I think when I started convulsing the anchor point bent just enough to let me down. Since then I have wanted to go and have had dry runs . guess to see if I could do it. I can I will not fail again if I really want to ctb this time. My wife left me and it made me snap I guess. I have always had abandonment issues since I was a kid. My mom is total garbage mom and human in general. Never felt like I was apart of the world around me. even with my family. Idk kind of rambling now. Just feeling abandoned lonely. I am debating trying to get help through normal channels but honestly probably wont because once you open that door so much goes down it is almost better to not reach out for help. I have two little boys who I do love very much that I only get to see once in awhile now. Just feel like i am dragging my body through the every day cycle of get up go to work come home go to sleep get up go to work come home go to sleep. Just tired my soul is tired my body is tired i am emotionally tired.