embarrassment
New Member
- Dec 27, 2025
- 1
I've planned everything out. I know what to do. I have a method. Patrial hanging. Simple, effective. I can take my medication before, and as I get tired I can CTB. I'm not wanted where I am. I'm not going to be greatly missed. I'm not going to get better, everything has just gotten worse. I'm not cut out for this world.
I was planning for the end of this year if nothing got better for me, but I'm thinking I should just do it ASAP.
Everyone I know hates me, and even the people who don't know me have such great disdain for my existence.
I just worry that I'll screw it up, or chicken out for some reason. Like I'll "come to my senses" or that wretched survival instinct will kick in. I keep having this little part of me that desperately wants things to get better, but no matter what I do; meds, therapy, diet, exercise, I let doctors perform electro convulsive therapy on me, hospitals, going outside, nothing helps stop this desperate longing in my heart for all this suffering to end.
I was planning for the end of this year if nothing got better for me, but I'm thinking I should just do it ASAP.
Everyone I know hates me, and even the people who don't know me have such great disdain for my existence.
I just worry that I'll screw it up, or chicken out for some reason. Like I'll "come to my senses" or that wretched survival instinct will kick in. I keep having this little part of me that desperately wants things to get better, but no matter what I do; meds, therapy, diet, exercise, I let doctors perform electro convulsive therapy on me, hospitals, going outside, nothing helps stop this desperate longing in my heart for all this suffering to end.
