Echo
Hell is empty and all the devils are here
- Dec 1, 2022
- 559
my job I dont think is going to be stable for that much longer and I dont know what the hell I'm going to do next. I'm not specialised in anything just customer service roles. I've been working by myself mainly which has been great because I suffer with social anxiety.
Now the company has restructed and I will have a manager in most days with me I think. I'm getting myself stressed over it, like what if they're a complete prick I dont think I'd be able to handle it if they are.
Even just looking at other jobs gives me massive anxiety, going for interviews also makes me panic, I havent needed to interview for years.
I've thought about studying but I'm not up to date with computers, I was trying to do something on my laptop the other day and took me forever because I'm dumb. I dont even know if I've got the brain power to even do a long course. The one I've seen is for 10 months and then I could further study for another 10 months for the 3rd level. So that's basically 2 years of studying and I just dont know if I've got the commitment.
Then theres housing, my parent is going to get inheritance when their parent passes and they want to move away to buy a property in a cheaper area where theyll be able to afford it. but will probably be a retirement place so effectively I'd be homeless. No idea where I will live. Wouldnt be able to cope in shared housing living with people I dont know. It would be a bit of a stretch to afford social housing and private rent is just too expensive.
I've no partner to fall back on to support me. So I have to figure out all on my own.
Theres all this shit you have to deal with being an adult I just find the future really scary. I genuinely have no idea what i am doing or where exactly I'm going to end up. Its exhausting.
As for retirement it will probably be around 70 years old by the time I come to retire. I'm hoping I've died before I retire tbh. One of the political parties, Tories I think, wanted to stop national insurance which pays for current retirees ( and state benefits I believe.)
If they stop that, surely that means in the future there will be no state pension for my generation. I have no idea how I would afford to live as a small private pension would not cover my expenses.
I just feel really gloomy and stressed about everything. sorry for the rant I just needed to put my thoughts down somewhere. Maybe I'll just ctb and not have to worry about any of this.
Now the company has restructed and I will have a manager in most days with me I think. I'm getting myself stressed over it, like what if they're a complete prick I dont think I'd be able to handle it if they are.
Even just looking at other jobs gives me massive anxiety, going for interviews also makes me panic, I havent needed to interview for years.
I've thought about studying but I'm not up to date with computers, I was trying to do something on my laptop the other day and took me forever because I'm dumb. I dont even know if I've got the brain power to even do a long course. The one I've seen is for 10 months and then I could further study for another 10 months for the 3rd level. So that's basically 2 years of studying and I just dont know if I've got the commitment.
Then theres housing, my parent is going to get inheritance when their parent passes and they want to move away to buy a property in a cheaper area where theyll be able to afford it. but will probably be a retirement place so effectively I'd be homeless. No idea where I will live. Wouldnt be able to cope in shared housing living with people I dont know. It would be a bit of a stretch to afford social housing and private rent is just too expensive.
I've no partner to fall back on to support me. So I have to figure out all on my own.
Theres all this shit you have to deal with being an adult I just find the future really scary. I genuinely have no idea what i am doing or where exactly I'm going to end up. Its exhausting.
As for retirement it will probably be around 70 years old by the time I come to retire. I'm hoping I've died before I retire tbh. One of the political parties, Tories I think, wanted to stop national insurance which pays for current retirees ( and state benefits I believe.)
If they stop that, surely that means in the future there will be no state pension for my generation. I have no idea how I would afford to live as a small private pension would not cover my expenses.
I just feel really gloomy and stressed about everything. sorry for the rant I just needed to put my thoughts down somewhere. Maybe I'll just ctb and not have to worry about any of this.
