Help Not sure if I can recover at this point, but now there's a new problem...

[Jacquelyn]

I've been suicidal for about 4 years now. My reasons for wanting to end my life have changed over the years, but for the past year it's become quite simple: I cannot handle the effort it takes to create and maintain a life worth living. Therefore, I'd rather die.
Now there's a new issue... I have a girlfriend who I've been dating for a few weeks now. It wasn't until last week I realized having a girlfriend would effect my plans. I don't want to hurt her like this. I can deal with all my friends and family feeling bad about me dying, but this is different for some reason.
I spoke to her about it and she was very supportive and explained that she feels/has felt a lot of the feelings I've felt.
But the issue remains: I'm running out of money. When I'm almost completely broke I expect to end my life. I have enough to maybe last another 6 or 7 months without a job. Finding a job I would actually be willing to work seems almost impossible, but I'm willing to try. I've never kept a job for more than a few months. I always crack and quit spontaneously.

Time is ticking. I don't know what to do about any of this. I can try to start seeing a counselor or therapist, but I really think I'm just going to be a lost cause to most of them. I've seen it happen before.

Any advice?

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I've been suicidal for 21 years! (since I was 12 and now that I realize, 21 is my fav number because it shows up everywhere and that's the exact amount of years from 12 to 33. WTF!!!!!!!!! Okay, let's continue lol)

I know what you're feeling. I got so fed up with life and doing daily stuff that I became a NEET for 3 years.
My days were basically being in bed, crying, anxious, wanting to ctb, getting fatter and thinking things like "Damn, I suck. I don't even have a cent."

I tried therapists, but talking to my wall and dog was more effective. I was given some meds by a psych which only made me a zombie so. I got really angry and stopped taking them.

Then, one day I just opened my eyes and said "Okay. This is enough! Let's try to change things from today on".

Thus, I started to clean my room and take a shower everyday, found a hobby (japanese) and my mood started to get better.

Also, I decided to see a new psych to see if some new meds could help me and fortunately, that guy is really cool and it seems he really got my problem because the meds he gave me are really helping me with my bipolar disorder, anxiety and depression! (bupropion, lamotrigine and quetiapine)

Sure, I'm still suicidal. I even wanted to ctb two days ago but now, I'm working, studying and who knows? I might try to lose some weight soon and meet a girl!

To sum up, if you think therapy or a psych could help, give them a shot but the key is to start from baby steps to giant strides because your mood will automatically change and you'll want to do more stuff little by little.

 

[PressEnterToExit]

Well, I've been suicidal for 21 years! (since I was 12 and now that I realize, 21 is my fav number because it shows up everywhere and that's the exact amount of years from 12 to 33. WTF!!!!!!!!! Okay, let's continue lol)

I know what you're feeling. I got so fed up with life and doing daily stuff that I became a NEET for 3 years.
My days were basically being in bed, crying, anxious, wanting to ctb, getting fatter and thinking things like "Damn, I suck. I don't even have a cent."

I tried therapists, but talking to my wall and dog was more effective. I was given some meds by a psych which only made me a zombie so. I got really angry and stopped taking them.

Then, one day I just opened my eyes and said "Okay. This is enough! Let's try to change things from today on".

Thus, I started to clean my room and take a shower everyday, found a hobby (japanese) and my mood started to get better.

Also, I decided to see a new psych to see if some new meds could help me and fortunately, that guy is really cool and it seems he really got my problem because the meds he gave me are really helping me with my bipolar disorder, anxiety and depression! (bupropion, lamotrigine and quetiapine)

Sure, I'm still suicidal. I even wanted to ctb two days ago but now, I'm working, studying and who knows? I might try to lose some weight soon and meet a girl!

To sum up, if you think therapy or a psych could help, give them a shot but the key is to start from baby steps to giant strides because your mood will automatically change and you'll want to do more stuff little by little.

Al argentino parece que le está yendo muy bien :)

 

[TheWood]

Forgive the question, but have you ever wondered why you feel the need to change jobs often? Toxic work environment or low pay? In my opinion there can be only two ways. Either give yourself another chance trying to figure out how to get out of it and making more changes in your life (things that might help you change your status). Or let it go and let yourself go. It's up to you, before making any decision ask to yourself the right questions and find the answers

 

[Forever Dead]

I am in my 50s and have been where you are many times. Therapy and meds never worked for me personally, so I just workout everyday to boost the feelgood chemicals in my brain. I am currently one of the hidden homeless and am facing imminent full homelesness very soon because the person i am living with is dying from stage 4 lung cancer, and I have nobody else to turn to once he dies and his family sells the house. I have no job because I am basically unemployable due to my mental illness and age, and for me the future looks very grim indeed. All any of us can do is to take each day as it comes because today is all we have. You are not alone in this, and much of what life throws at us is out of our control. Too many people today are going through what you are having to endure, its dreadful. At least know that there are people here who care.

 

[Oblivion Access]

It's become quite simple: I cannot handle the effort it takes to create and maintain a life worth living. Therefore, I'd rather die.

By god, I've never seen exactly how I feel put so succinctly. Pray tell @Jacquelyn . Has this changed at all?