Not okay personality in workplace

[Deadweight]

I'm working again after 6 years of self-isolation in a very busy hospital. My anxiety is off the charts because I have to interact with many people, and it's driving weird social behaviours. I feel like a fucking alien out there. I keep throwing myself in there hoping it will settle but the job is stressful on its own.

I'm going to keep going back because I know I won't change unless I beat this but my personality is fucked and it's drawing attention.

Has anybody else gone through this and managed to settle in over time? How do I stop embarrassing myself

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Social anxiety it's terrible and 6 years is a lot so it's completely normal that you feel that way. When I returned to work after some months at home without going out at all the thing that helped me was benzos, specially at the beginning. And then time helps as well. Maybe you could try that. Anyway, congratulations for taking that huge step and star working again. You should be proud of yourself.

 

[rainbowbright]

I also work in a hospital and can really relate!! How long have you worked there? I remember when I first started and I was so overwhelmed with the amount of people I had to deal with, it got easier as the years went on its just a massive shock to the system at the start. Night shifts tend to be much better in that respect as it's more chilled and you don't have so many people about. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat about it
Also I wanna say well done for going back to work after 6 years, that in itself is a massive achievement

 

[Deadweight]

I also work in a hospital and can really relate!! How long have you worked there? I remember when I first started and I was so overwhelmed with the amount of people I had to deal with, it got easier as the years went on its just a massive shock to the system at the start. Night shifts tend to be much better in that respect as it's more chilled and you don't have so many people about. Feel free to pm me if you want to chat about it
Also I wanna say well done for going back to work after 6 years, that in itself is a massive achievement

I've worked there for a few months now, just a couple days a week. I was doing really well initially but it was more overwhelming than I anticipated and I couldn't hide my anxiety for more than a few shifts. Now I don't know how to act and I keep slipping up by being inconsistent in how I come across. Like I'm playing a different character depending on how overwhelmed I feel. The last two shifts I was openly showing frustration in my interactions, so I decided to decline shifts for a week to cool off.

I'm going back there on Friday to try again, but I know I'm not making myself popular there with my odd behaviour and I'll have to face that. Really gotta hold my shit together from now on

 

[Life_and_Death]

i dont have an answer just wanted to say that i understand. talking to people causes me to dissociate into blackness so i find interactions, even with people i know, difficult/basically impossible. i rarely even look my husband in the face when we talk, its just uncomfortable for me. (and upsetting because "its not polite to not look at people when you talk to them".)

 

[rainbowbright]

I've worked there for a few months now, just a couple days a week. I was doing really well initially but it was more overwhelming than I anticipated and I couldn't hide my anxiety for more than a few shifts. Now I don't know how to act and I keep slipping up by being inconsistent in how I come across. Like I'm playing a different character depending on how overwhelmed I feel. The last two shifts I was openly showing frustration in my interactions, so I decided to decline shifts for a week to cool off.

I'm going back there on Friday to try again, but I know I'm not making myself popular there with my odd behaviour and I'll have to face that. Really gotta hold my shit together from now on

Are you on a bank contract aswell?

 

[HoneyandGlass]

Are they aware that you're back in work after a long time? They should put some support in place for you. Do you feel able to ask for some support?

 

[Deadweight]

Are you on a bank contract aswell?

I'm not sure what that is, but I'm casual and I get to pick my shifts from a roster app. They've tried twice to get me on a contract but I'd burn up. I get a disability pension and my living expenses are low, so I don't depend on the money from this job, but I want it to improve my quality of life. I don't want to ctb or resign myself to isolation suffer out a tragic life, so I'm throwing myself at this until I don't find people terrifying anymore, and I can function like a normal person. I can't tolerate being a pathetic broken man anymore.

Are they aware that you're back in work after a long time? They should put some support in place for you. Do you feel able to ask for some support?

I do but I'm struggling to come forward with it. I'm ashamed. Anxiety is fear, and it's hard as a man to ask for special treatment because you're frightened of everything to the point you can't function. Sometimes I overcompensate because of it. I'll talk to my supervisor though on Friday and see if I can make it easier

 

[rainbowbright]

Sorry casual is bank where I'm from lol I've been on casual for 13 years, I tend to pick weekends as the money is a bit better