Not much time left.

[GentleJerk]

My time is drawing near. I can feel the wolves are closing in and nipping at my heels.

I've been quite unwell for some time, the final nails in my coffin put there by a so-called friend who I thought I could trust. I'm sick of being mistreated by medical professionals, ignored and denied help, as I attempted to seek treatment over these last couple of years while my condition worsened everyday. It's beyond a point where I can believe it is all incompetence. This is deliberate mistreatment, with the aim of allowing illness to progress as much as possible. There is no doubt in my mind about this.

Even if my organs fail, I crash and end up in emergency, where they finally acknowledge the severity of my situation, and offer to begin some sort of treatment- I would be against wanting to trust these parasites with my life and humbly bowing before them, to grovel for help in my hour of need. I would rather not give them that satisfaction.

There's an old saying: dead men tell no tales. They fucking got me good. I should never have opened my mouth or stuck my neck out. If you are reading this, and know things you probably shouldn't, for heavens sake- play dumb and keep it to yourself.

When the time comes that I may choose to make an exit, I most likely will not have the time to announce it, or plan any sort of goodbye on the day. So I say to you all now, thank you for being here in my final months. This place has provided me with so much, and I will always be very grateful for everything. I wish I could stick around for years to come, and watch my daughter grow up while I work every second of the day to make her life the best it could be. Fate was not so kind.

I will try to notify everyone somehow if possible, otherwise, If I stop logging in and disappear for more than a couple of weeks, that will mean I have passed on.

All the very best, forever and always,

GentleSoul

 

[whatevs]

Depending on "health professionals" to improve your health has ironically proven to be complete hell for me as well. Humiliating, expensive, but above all just ineffective. They don't care about you. Dr. House was a screenwriter's wet dream, in reality doctors are arrogant, well paid and indifferent.

Good luck, GentleSoul. May you find what you are looking for, which is likely an end to your misery. I hope your forays into mysticism serve you well in the final hours. Death cannot destroy what existed before life, whatever that is.

 

[rationaltake]

I'm sorry it's come to this. Thank you for your thread on N. Wishing you peace.

 

[waitingforrest]

The mental health system has failed me as well. So now I am just slowly wasting away till SI dissappears. I hope all goes well for you, whether you decide to or not.

Until then, I'm sure SS will be glad to keep you company to your final moments. Dying alone is a painful thought that I wish on no one.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm sorry for all the suffering that you have been through, I can imagine that it must be unbearable. This life is just so cruel and unfair. I hope you find relief from your pain in whatever happens.

 

[Al_stargate]

Sorry about your pain and everything you've been through. These medical 'professionals' really deserve a hell of their own. It's not incompetence, it's indifference and leaching of money. They would rather a person be sick and make money of them, than to cure them. Of course, that is not all doctors and medical staff, but some are just godawful. It was fun chatting with you and wish you well whatever your choice.

 

[sealbabies]

I'm sorry about the trust you lost. It cuts deep...
I'm not sure if the not saying anything and playing dumb has something to do with wanting to help someone or just plain calling out an injustice.
Either is messed up, I agree.

I honestly I think a lot of medical personnel like playing with others lives because they can, freaking power trip I guess.
And it's incredibly hard to fight back, because good luck suing if you even have the financial means to think about it.
Every time I've been in the hospital I found the only way to make things go smooth as possible and maybe get some "help" was to be compliant (their bitch essentially).

I'm sorry it's come this far for you, this community will miss you and wish you the best things on your journey.
All the best wishes and peace to you.

 

[symphony]

All my love and support to you. You will be missed.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

I'm sorry that life has been so unkind and unfair to you and that you have come to this point. I hope you find relief, peace and that somehow you can turn this around. Anyway, whatever you decide, we're here.

 

[_Seeking]

Your presence will be missed around here but I understand if you must go. I've had bad medical professional experiences too, society and the media put them on pedestals so they know they can get away with mistreating patients. People that have "invisible" illnesses get treated the worst because they don't want to spend the time to get to the bottom of what is going on.

 

[indigomoon]

I'm sorry that you have ended up here. I don't know your story but I can feel your pain through your words. Please know that the majority of doctors and nurses care. I used to work in healthcare and I can attest to this. I hope you find peace.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

That's a shame, but I guess it's what we're all here for. Your presence will be missed.

 

[Feeding Pigeons]

I'm no stranger to the health system being complete shit. They really don't care. Its so obvious on their body language. I'm sorry you're going through hell.

Whatever happens, I'll see you down the road, GentleSoul. Godspeed.

 

[GentleJerk]

@whatevs @rationaltake @waitingforrest @FuneralCry @Al_stargate @sealbabies @symphony @onlyanimalsaregood @_Seeking @indigomoon @WhiteRabbit @Feeding Pigeons

Thank you guys so much, for all your love and support, kindness, and presence during my time here. I appreciate every word. Much love always.