a_french_guy
Life Is But A Dream
- Mar 29, 2023
- 18
Hello everyone, I hope you are doing well. Personally not too much... but you've already read the title so there's no point in repeating it. I want to say what I think today, what's wrong, so I guess it's going to be a bit long... let's start.
loneliness is a point that greatly undermines me. loneliness in love and in friendship. humans aren't meant to be alone and I'm alone so no wonder I feel bad about it. I often think of finding myself a girlfriend but I'm far too shy for that so I stay in my room, isolating myself even more. I have already tried to talk to my parents about my problems but they tell me things like "stop being miserable" or "think of everything you have and shut your mouth". I grew up in a wealthy family and I never lacked anything but I'm still bad mentally. and they don't understand that. and at the beginning of 2022, I was scarifying myself a lot and one day they noticed the cuts. my father punched me in the face and then took me to the hospital. how did i want to tell them about my feelings after that? of course, my sister fully supports them. Question friends, I grew up in the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses. I never really got hooked but I stayed for my parents, to please them. because of this religion, I have never been able to invite school friends to the house and vice versa. my only "friends" were the children of other members. When I was young I didn't realize how "manipulated" we were. even if I have frequented the world outside of religion (something very inadvisable of course) and that I have been able to form a personal opinion of many things, this is not the case for many other young people of my generation. today I still go to the office for my parents, out of love, so as not to disappoint them, even if it weighs heavily on me. I'm rejected by the rest of the congregation because I'm not spiritual enough for them. Of course my parents say it's my fault. Short...
I met a girl once. She seemed very nice and we got to talking very quickly. I felt good with her. she then confessed that she loved me. it was not my case. she then threatened to kill herself if I didn't get in a relationship with her. out of fear I accepted. and she made me do things that I deeply regret now. when I started to detach myself from her, she sent her friends on the networks to harass me. I managed to "release" her almost entirely from my life but as soon as I see her in the street I feel my heart throb. as if I had clung to her. when I hate her and she must also hate me. I don't understand myself. Short...
I had a best friend until now, a friend I could count on, to whom I could tell everything, and who told me everything too. I have known him since I was 8 years old. when he saw things in the dark, I brought color into his life. when I started to see things in black, he also brought color into my life. he was my only ally. and one day he didn't want to see me anymore. no more invitations, no more messages, no more calls, no more laughs, no more video games, no more movies, no more nothing. nothing. he disappeared from my life in the blink of an eye, leaving only an empty space in my heart. an empty space in which the wind of sadness constantly rushes. but in short...
I think I'll stop there to avoid getting drunk (if you haven't already). thank you very much if you have read everything. thank you for your patience and kindness. thank you to all this beautiful community for all that it does. thank you for everything.
Thomas
P.S.: I think it's a good time to confess that I'm actually 16 years old. I know the rules of the site and I am aware that I will surely be banned, here too. but I didn't want to lie to you or disappoint you. I just want to get better and in case I can't talk to you anymore if at my banishment, thank you for everything.
loneliness is a point that greatly undermines me. loneliness in love and in friendship. humans aren't meant to be alone and I'm alone so no wonder I feel bad about it. I often think of finding myself a girlfriend but I'm far too shy for that so I stay in my room, isolating myself even more. I have already tried to talk to my parents about my problems but they tell me things like "stop being miserable" or "think of everything you have and shut your mouth". I grew up in a wealthy family and I never lacked anything but I'm still bad mentally. and they don't understand that. and at the beginning of 2022, I was scarifying myself a lot and one day they noticed the cuts. my father punched me in the face and then took me to the hospital. how did i want to tell them about my feelings after that? of course, my sister fully supports them. Question friends, I grew up in the religion of Jehovah's Witnesses. I never really got hooked but I stayed for my parents, to please them. because of this religion, I have never been able to invite school friends to the house and vice versa. my only "friends" were the children of other members. When I was young I didn't realize how "manipulated" we were. even if I have frequented the world outside of religion (something very inadvisable of course) and that I have been able to form a personal opinion of many things, this is not the case for many other young people of my generation. today I still go to the office for my parents, out of love, so as not to disappoint them, even if it weighs heavily on me. I'm rejected by the rest of the congregation because I'm not spiritual enough for them. Of course my parents say it's my fault. Short...
I met a girl once. She seemed very nice and we got to talking very quickly. I felt good with her. she then confessed that she loved me. it was not my case. she then threatened to kill herself if I didn't get in a relationship with her. out of fear I accepted. and she made me do things that I deeply regret now. when I started to detach myself from her, she sent her friends on the networks to harass me. I managed to "release" her almost entirely from my life but as soon as I see her in the street I feel my heart throb. as if I had clung to her. when I hate her and she must also hate me. I don't understand myself. Short...
I had a best friend until now, a friend I could count on, to whom I could tell everything, and who told me everything too. I have known him since I was 8 years old. when he saw things in the dark, I brought color into his life. when I started to see things in black, he also brought color into my life. he was my only ally. and one day he didn't want to see me anymore. no more invitations, no more messages, no more calls, no more laughs, no more video games, no more movies, no more nothing. nothing. he disappeared from my life in the blink of an eye, leaving only an empty space in my heart. an empty space in which the wind of sadness constantly rushes. but in short...
I think I'll stop there to avoid getting drunk (if you haven't already). thank you very much if you have read everything. thank you for your patience and kindness. thank you to all this beautiful community for all that it does. thank you for everything.
Thomas
P.S.: I think it's a good time to confess that I'm actually 16 years old. I know the rules of the site and I am aware that I will surely be banned, here too. but I didn't want to lie to you or disappoint you. I just want to get better and in case I can't talk to you anymore if at my banishment, thank you for everything.
