Not having friends saved me

[FireFox]

When i was in secondary school i never had a close friendship group or a social life. I didn't experience things most teenagers do going to parties, going shopping with friends or dates with boys etc.

When i did have friends they would exclude me from things.
I used to envy people who had social lives and strong friendships in secondary school. I always felt like i missed out a lot in life.

Seeing people on tv or various media outlets talking about missing their friends or going to the pub because of the pandemic or talking about loneliness from not seeing friends etc

i am now glad i spent my teenage years and early 20s pretty much alone .

Not having friends and social life saved me .

The only thing that bothers me about the pandemic is not having a real purpose.

The loneliness doesn't bother me..

Is anyone glad they spent most of lives not having friends or a vibrant social life?

 

[Gnip]

I'm quickly moving in that direction. It would have been my preference to not have ever attended school at all, since everybody I've met who never attended school is happy with life.

As it is, I don't like people much, but the quality of people who have been in my daily life is very low. I've had better success finding reasonable people online, and those people are widely dispersed through the rest of the world (including some excellent members here at Sanctioned Suicide).

Socializing has gotten people killed during this pandemic, and it's going to kill more before the vaccine gets fully distributed. I'm aiming to survive so I can later CTB on my own terms.

 

[ZardozOmega]

I am the complete opposite. I wish I had partied more

 

[140 bpm]

I feel you.

But I used to have a lot of friends during school, college years and afterwards. I had best friends and been in different companies, we used to go party a lot. But last 2 years been really tough and my social life changed. My mental issues, addiction to drugs and asshole attitude brought me to the point, when I've met New Years 19\20 alone.

I couldn't even imagine how 2020 gonna kick me in my balls, but at least when all that pandemic thing started, I didn't feel any difference. I didn't have social life already anyway. It was really painful to accept loneliness and let go past life, but when wounds got healed, I've actually got used to it.

Now it doesn't bother me at all. Like anything else, what people compare to social life. I don't use social media and don't really care what's going on amhwhere else, except my life.

 

[AprilsBlessings]

Same, I envied people who had this life too, Tv shows and social media made me think that I HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS to be happy & socially successful.

and at some point of my life i was going to force myself into these things and this life but at the last moment i changed my mind and IM SO GLAD I DID because when i grew up a little i realized that .. this is not my personality, this is not who i am and i wouldn't really enjoy these things and this life, and that would probably hurt me even more.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

My lifestyle has prepared me for this pandemic and I do not envy those who depend on heavy social interaction for validation in their lives. In the past I have envied those who have many friends but I cherish and value the very few relationships I have now (this includes my cat) because there is less chance of betrayal but if it does happen it can be devastating.

All the people who criticized and chastised me for not having friends are now suffering heavily because they cannot socialize as they used to. Perhaps they will now reconsider their judgements on introverted people like me as my lifestyle has not changed much except now I happily wear a face mask.

In the worst way, this pandemic has proven to me how much people actually can't stand their own selves or their own children in their presence without distractions. It's really sad how many people are in denial about how much they can't stand their own selves.

Sorry for being cynical. It's that kind of day.

 

[DeathNoot]

Pandemic changed almost nothing in my life. I'll admit its a bit interesting to see people distraught over living the same way I do. But I mostly feel bad for anyone who can't handle it. I suppose I'm glad this whole mess hasn't made things worse for me.

 

[Canon1]

I have also been an underdog. Never really had a strong connection to anyone. People mostly suck and are not trustworthy. Live alone.

 

[Deleted member 23885]

I was excluded and ostracised back in high school. So, I don't know what social life looks like. Plus, I grew up in a religious Muslim family, so going to nightclubs & getting drunk was a big no.

 

[Weary Soul]

Despite severe social anxiety, GAD, PTSD, etc. I used to party lot in college/university.

However, it was transitory at best and I found it to be extremely shallow.

I too am pretty much a loner these days and have no problem being by myself. In fact, I relish it.

Seems to me this is actually a blessing in disguise - the fewer I am connected to and connected to life, the easier it will be to leave this life. (At least I hope so.)

 

[mimiopo22]

No, I'm immensely sad.

 

[Amumu]

OP I don't know how you could have come to the conclusion that it was beneficial not to have friends... because you don't see them irl when there is a pandemic? Come on, please. Don't forget, we're social animals. We need friends, otherwise we become mad.

 

[FireFox]

OP I don't know how you could have come to the conclusion that it was beneficial not to have friends... because you don't see them irl when there is a pandemic? Come on, please. Don't forget, we're social animals. We need friends, otherwise we become mad.

Amumu
Not having friends through out my teenage years and 20s has helped me cope with the loneliness of the lockdown.

I have been reading stories of people talking about how the loneliness of lockdown and missing their friends has taken a toll on their mental health or suffering boredom.

The only that bothers me is not having a real purpose during the pandemic.

I was excluded and ostracised back in high school. So, I don't know what social life looks like. Plus, I grew up in a religious Muslim family, so going to nightclubs & getting drunk was a big no.

nmuctbdream
I am from a religious family too. My family are Catholics and my mum is an immigrant. She came to the UK in 1980s.
When i was in secondary school i was not allowed to go to parties or on my own to places.
Despite this I
turned out to be an outgoing person because being sheltered made me more curious about the world i was living in.

During university i attended protests, i used to go to parks and shops in the town where my university was located in.

I would love to travel to Europe in the near future.

Same, I envied people who had this life too, Tv shows and social media made me think that I HAVE TO DO THESE THINGS to be happy & socially successful.

and at some point of my life i was going to force myself into these things and this life but at the last moment i changed my mind and IM SO GLAD I DID because when i grew up a little i realized that .. this is not my personality, this is not who i am and i wouldn't really enjoy these things and this life, and that would probably hurt me even more.

AprilsBlessings

My past was preparing me for the dystophian future which was to come such a shame i didn't realise this when i was younger.

There have been stories in the news and just reading from social media people have been talking about how they have been struggling with the loneliness of the lockdown, missing friends and upset they cant go out to the pub etc.

Not having friends or a strong friendship group that most teenagers have or vibrant social life have has helped me adjust to the lockdown and worst aspects of the lockdown.

The only thing that bothers me about the lockdown is the lack of purpose i have.

 

[Phill]

I'm just like you when you say the loneliness doesn't bother you. I feel exactly the same.

I had friends in secondary school, and we used to go out, play football, video games, have parties, etc. I already had problems with social anxiety, but it wasn't something that paralyzed me like it does these days. Everything started falling down for me when I ended up the secondary school. It was when I started to slowly push my friends away. They're still my friends but we haven't been in touch for more than three years now. I enjoyed tha good old days, but the loneliness now doesn't really bother me at all.

 

[WrongGuy47]

I like being alone. So this doesn't really affect me at all.

 

[IWantToSleep]

I'd like to have friends, it's just that I've felt unwell for years now and didn't priortise making friends, I enjoyed having the few friends I had in primary school, in secondary school I had maybe a couple of friends in my first year, then my odd behaviour made me the laughing stock of my class as I had very poor social skills at the time. When I'm around groups of people now I try to just blend in and keep quiet so I won't be socially ostracised.

 

[grungeCat]

I get you!

I didn't have any friend in secondary school either. I have been never invited to a party or any gathering. I didn't ever date a girl too (well you spoke about boys but the problem is the same). Seeing all these happy people also fills me with envy.

However I honestly don't know if it's better or not since I have no experience to compare with loneliness and rejection. I gave up about friends and women. Now I focus on trying to surive till the sweet death.

 

[WornOutLife]

The loneliness doesn't bother me..

Same here. Although now I'm in recovery, I'm talking to some people, including a few friends again.

The thing is, that they will never understand why I wanted to ctb.

Yesterday, one of them was lecturing me about how all life is precious and that I was never really alone and I was like... "please, shut up" lol