Venting Not feeling suicidal, but I got nothing to live for

[Chemical Animal]

One thing that really helped me not feeling anxious or depressed is giving up love, romance and dating. Not having to worry about getting a girlfriend, losing my virginity, starting a family, fulfilling my role as a man etc, I have a couple of reasons less to feel like I'm a loser, a failure, a waste of oxygen or whatever, and I don't remember that I'm socially inept as often as before.

It's been three months living without wanting to CTB, but now I have zero life goals, everything has become uninteresting and not worth the effort, I'm just a zombie/npc character that just goes on it's routine.

All I want is to become a NEET/hikikomori, since the lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic was the period that I was the most mentally healthy and stable in the last 10 years. Staying at home playing videogames, binge watching shit on yt/twitch and masturbating, all of this while getting unemployment insurance paychecks, was pure blissful to me. But that's not considered a life goal, so outside of that I got nothing to live for.

 

[strawberrydino]

become busy. if you have money spend it on a hobby so you feel monetarily forced to do that hobby. or get a gym membership - i know its time old advice but actually moving helps so much - plus again monetary incentive. this is stupidly philosophical, but you dont need a "reason to live". life inherently has no value, life sucks the empty carelessness of the universe is awful, but humans live anyway. you don't need to be something just do anything. its fucking hard and hard and hard. but fuck it we ball? i hope you can start something anything. bc it seems like posting this in recovery is a small type of resolve to recover

 

[DirtCommie]

One thing that really helped me not feeling anxious or depressed is giving up love, romance and dating. Not having to worry about getting a girlfriend, losing my virginity, starting a family, fulfilling my role as a man etc, I have a couple of reasons less to feel like I'm a loser, a failure, a waste of oxygen or whatever, and I don't remember that I'm socially inept as often as before.

It's been three months living without wanting to CTB, but now I have zero life goals, everything has become uninteresting and not worth the effort, I'm just a zombie/npc character that just goes on it's routine.

All I want is to become a NEET/hikikomori, since the lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic was the period that I was the most mentally healthy and stable in the last 10 years. Staying at home playing videogames, binge watching shit on yt/twitch and masturbating, all of this while getting unemployment insurance paychecks, was pure blissful to me. But that's not considered a life goal, so outside of that I got nothing to live for.

uhh it should be noted that there are thousands of even millions of people who 1. who are ablebto live their life happily without dating anyone or beung romantically interested in anyone. We call these people asexual or aromantic depending on what you are aversive to . 2. there are numerous men( we call these men MGTOW) and women and other (we may call these people part of the 4B group) who live life happily without ever getting involved in dating or starting a family or caring about being seen by others as a 'real man/woman' . You dont need to base your value on your family. WHat if nobody ever wants to start a family with you? Are you now useless? No you still have worth. What if your whole family other than you get seperated from you or worse in a tragic accident ? Are you now worthless? No you still have worth. ANd 3 . There are millions of people who are choosing to not have children. We call these people childfree.

There is nothing wrong with being childfree or aromantic or a MGTOW or 4B.

As long as youre not interfering with the lives of other people or 9ther beings you dont have to care about what others think about you. What do YOU think about you ? is what you should be asking yourself rather.

Also there is nothing wrong with taking time to realize what your passion in life is . Im almost 31 and I still dont have any definite passion(s) or definite life goals yet. I just want to make others happier so thats why I volunteer....ok well I do have other life goals l8ke I want to become a master of calisthenics so Im learning to do the splits and the dragon squat right now but those arent really the very common 'life goals' or 'career goals' that most people talk about, right?

Personally I do think that people like you who want to become hikkikomori are not problematic to society at all. Youre not hurting anyone, youre just staying alone , doing what makes you happy in your living space . However realistically , I am guessing you live in a society where becoming a NEET is not financially feasible, right? If so? I do rec9mmend that you start putting you toe into the water and see what types of part time jobs pay well that wont interfere with your life too much.

I wish you the best in your journey . Thanks for posting your story

become busy. if you have money spend it on a hobby so you feel monetarily forced to do that hobby. or get a gym membership - i know its time old advice but actually moving helps so much - plus again monetary incentive. this is stupidly philosophical, but you dont need a "reason to live". life inherently has no value, life sucks the empty carelessness of the universe is awful, but humans live anyway. you don't need to be something just do anything. its fucking hard and hard and hard. but fuck it we ball? i hope you can start something anything. bc it seems like posting this in recovery is a small type of resolve to recover

ya I do kind of agree with you

Liife doesnt technically have any value or meaning. Eachbperson here has to give their own life its own values and meanings. Nothing more or less to it. Thats the painful needle with the vaccine in my opinion.

However I dont agree that life sucks. The truth is that we have been lied to. We have been told that life is supposed to suck. ... Life isnt supposed to suck! Life CAN suck. Life CAN BECOME so hard that a person can choose to CTB.(proven by this forum's existence) However youre telling me that the lives of humans in caveman days sucked? I just dont believe. Clearly they didnt have things like this phone in my hand or as easy access to all types of foods as you and I do today. I dont think that their lives was overall unbearably hard or overall sucked . Why has humanity continued to multiply and create all types of things if life is meant to suck or meant to be hard? I dont believe it. I do believe there were many dangerous decisions in humanity's recent history that have made it so that the lives of most people sucks.