thrwaway99
Student
- Mar 24, 2019
- 144
Would you say you are unafraid to die but afraid of failing the attempt and that's what's holding you back?
Lookingforabus
Arcanist
- Aug 6, 2019
- 421
I wouldn't say it's holding me back (I'm in the run-out-the-clock phase of my life now), but yeah, that would be my primary fear. "If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." As long as I don't end up too brain damaged, that'll be what I'll do, so it's not that big a deal, I guess. Hell, for all I know, brain damage-induced stupidity might me a lot happier.
Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
I'm not too concerned as I can easily get a sure-fire method that would be practically impossible to muck up (shotgun.) Question is, how long can I hold out before I can no longer tolerate another minute?
To answer your question, what is holding me back? I am expecting some money soon and I want to live it up a little before I throw the towel in.
To answer your question, what is holding me back? I am expecting some money soon and I want to live it up a little before I throw the towel in.
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thrwaway99
Student
- Mar 24, 2019
- 144
Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
It's a bit too messy for my preference but it does give me a lot of piece of mind. It's fool-proof and painless at the very least. Insta-Nembutal + Gore.
I'm still looking for more... Peaceful... methods, though.
pthnrdnojvsc
Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
- Aug 12, 2019
- 2,590
I'm not afraid of death. I see death as the only way for me to never feel pain ever again. I was dead for 13 billion years and I never had any problems or pain for all that time. It was only after I was alive that the really bad problems started. So fear of having brain damage in a failed attempt is the only thing holding me back.
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Nanimoaru
I wanna fade away like I never was
- Sep 15, 2018
- 153
Im afraid of both. I don't know what's on the other side. What if god punishes me? But in the same breath why would he make me love someone he would rip from me 7 years later?
Will it hurt? Will i fail?
Will it hurt? Will i fail?
Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
He won't. He'd have to exist first before he could punish you.
Nanimoaru
I wanna fade away like I never was
- Sep 15, 2018
- 153
Problem with growing up christian
You're constantly told he does
Its beaten into you literally
thrwaway99
Student
- Mar 24, 2019
- 144
I'm not totally sure about God not existing. Life and everything would be quite a coincidence without some kind of creator. And the more you explore the mind, the more interesting it gets down the rabbit hole. Thinking of ctb then again is like really nice therapy that's cost-free and harmless, so I'm sure that if God loves us at all and assuming he exists he wouldn't be against this stuff as an outlet, and probably not as a cause of death either as what God isn't universal and seeing all causes of death as just that, as causes of death and nothing more. But probably (although don't quote me on that) God is an outdated word for something that's some kind of hyperreality slash cosmic intelligence.. multiverse.. simulation, idk.
Nanimoaru
I wanna fade away like I never was
- Sep 15, 2018
- 153
God doesn't love me fam
He took the one thing that made all this shit liveable
Wayfaerer
JFMSUF
- Aug 21, 2019
- 1,938
thrwaway99
Student
- Mar 24, 2019
- 144
TowerUpright
Disillusioned
- May 26, 2019
- 602
Then, there is the issue of a God, Creator and ruler of trillions of oanimals / organisms actually giving a shit about one ctb'ing.
sanction
sanctioned
- Mar 15, 2019
- 431
Same. Don't want to end up with permanent brain damage, disabled, or become vegetable. Thats why N is so popular, especially it being painless and effective
Lookingforabus
Arcanist
- Aug 6, 2019
- 421
On a related note, does a dog eating chocolate or a rabbit chewing wires or a bird flying into a window count as suicide? Sounds like hell might be full of adorable emotional support animals.
TowerUpright
Disillusioned
- May 26, 2019
- 602
On a related note, does a dog eating chocolate or a rabbit chewing wires or a bird flying into a window count as suicide? Sounds like hell might be full of adorable emotional support animals.
With my luck, my therapy animals would be slugs who accidentally sludged through spilt beer.
Lookingforabus
Arcanist
- Aug 6, 2019
- 421
Hedgehogs eat slugs, so use your emotional support gastropods as bait to upgrade to a cuter emotional support animal.
Blackjack
I’ll be watching...
- Aug 6, 2019
- 777
I live in total and complete terror of failing every. single. day.
scorpiooo2
saddest grl
- Aug 23, 2019
- 112
For me sometimes I'm scared of trying and dying. Other times I'm afraid of trying and failing.
I am truly confused by my own mind
I am truly confused by my own mind
Fragile
Broken
- Jul 7, 2019
- 1,496
since i don't have a good method, i'm extremely terrified of failing.
not only will i have to suffer from the physical ramifications of a failed suicide attempt, i will also have to deal with being thrown into a psychiatric hospital and being force fed terrible medicine against my will, then my family will watch over me constantly and i'll loose all of my freedom for years if not more, being a bourden to them and not being able to kill myself will crush me in a way that i can't even begin to imagine.
i really want to die and be done with it, why is dying so hard to pull off? modern medicine is only good at keeping us here against our will, this is literally the definition of hell.
not only will i have to suffer from the physical ramifications of a failed suicide attempt, i will also have to deal with being thrown into a psychiatric hospital and being force fed terrible medicine against my will, then my family will watch over me constantly and i'll loose all of my freedom for years if not more, being a bourden to them and not being able to kill myself will crush me in a way that i can't even begin to imagine.
i really want to die and be done with it, why is dying so hard to pull off? modern medicine is only good at keeping us here against our will, this is literally the definition of hell.
I am agree. I do not know which will be yours but I am starting to have some doubts about mine.
Maybe I exaggerated the possibility to success and right now I have to face some chances to fail and to be honest I am extremely terrified of failing too, which is a huge problem because I do not feel like to be reconsidering methods again, it is wasted time though
I thought that everything was under control, but it is not. Bad luck.
thrwaway99
Student
- Mar 24, 2019
- 144
Well, because I think I am not going to be capable to swallowing 150 ml of Pisabental myself. I am fairly sure I am going to throwing up.
I have underestimate that is a veterinary medication and also an IV solution and I am not totally sure that antiemetic were useful.
I am worried about excipients, The etanol and the propilenglicol does not worry me, I am worried about the water of IV solution, I do not know which its PH.
At the other hand I have seen people who got it, just taking benadryl, but that is just an autopsy, a cold report, without considering anything else, then I do not know where I made the mistake.
Resuming, I do not feel like still sleeping with 2 bottles of pisabental, do not want becoming on a junkie, but the unique idea of failure is doing to shake me.
Maybe you should try getting powder from the new Chinese supplier. It might be easier to get down. I am considering this myself
I know, but I paid 600€ or 700$. it is done.
Right now I'd buy powder without doubt.
Of course, It is not the same 9 grams of liquid than 9 grams powder. Only thing you have to do is to know purity level. There is a lab that doing tests.
A good consideration, really.
We'll see. such a mess.
thrwaway99
Student
- Mar 24, 2019
- 144
Why not just tell yourself you can do it; that you can keep that stuff down? Don't things like being able or unable to swallow a foul drink lie between the ears? Just asking 'cause that's a lot of money.. Glad for you how you got N, anyways.
