Death is your gift
Member
- Oct 7, 2021
- 44
Hi Everyone,
So I have been thinking a lot these last months about the method to end it all for good, and I think I am standing for SN method.
Not sure yet if I will go with my plan as scheduled, or if I will delay it once again for foolish reasons, but here it is (based on Stan's stat plan).
No anti-emetic, Risperidone instead as I still have some. I take it back again, with 1 mg a day. That way, my ctb period should be between day 14 and day 26 of Risperidone. I do not have more Risperidone left, so there is a window, but then if I back out I should check another solution to ease the avoid vomiting process. The quantity of Risperidone by day is not very high, but according to what I read here, it should be enough.
When the time comes, here is the detailed plan :
- H-8 hours : food fasting
- H-2 hours : water fasting
- H-1 hour : 1000 mg of paracetamol
- H-1 hour/30 minutes : preparing the 3 glasses of SN drink -> 20 g in 50 ml water
- H-30 minutes : Xanax 2 mg & Maalox liquid x4
- H-15 minutes : mouthwash with benzydamine hcl
- H : drinking the SN
- H+2 minutes : another mouthwash
- H to H+10 minutes : if the SN is vomited, take the second glass of SN
For the H time I was thinking of 12 am. I was thinking of using a straw to help, but with the numbing effect of the mouthwash, not sure that it is necessary. I tried salt water, it is not good but the part that concerns me is more the burning throat afterwards.
I may use this thread as a goodbye thread, if I proceed as planned to the end. We shall see. Honestly, I feel confused : like I know that I must do it, because there is no other way, but still afraid that the fear of dying and the thought of the suffering of my loved ones will make back out once again.
Anyway, if you would like to add some comments or anything else, you're welcome :)
So I have been thinking a lot these last months about the method to end it all for good, and I think I am standing for SN method.
Not sure yet if I will go with my plan as scheduled, or if I will delay it once again for foolish reasons, but here it is (based on Stan's stat plan).
No anti-emetic, Risperidone instead as I still have some. I take it back again, with 1 mg a day. That way, my ctb period should be between day 14 and day 26 of Risperidone. I do not have more Risperidone left, so there is a window, but then if I back out I should check another solution to ease the avoid vomiting process. The quantity of Risperidone by day is not very high, but according to what I read here, it should be enough.
When the time comes, here is the detailed plan :
- H-8 hours : food fasting
- H-2 hours : water fasting
- H-1 hour : 1000 mg of paracetamol
- H-1 hour/30 minutes : preparing the 3 glasses of SN drink -> 20 g in 50 ml water
- H-30 minutes : Xanax 2 mg & Maalox liquid x4
- H-15 minutes : mouthwash with benzydamine hcl
- H : drinking the SN
- H+2 minutes : another mouthwash
- H to H+10 minutes : if the SN is vomited, take the second glass of SN
For the H time I was thinking of 12 am. I was thinking of using a straw to help, but with the numbing effect of the mouthwash, not sure that it is necessary. I tried salt water, it is not good but the part that concerns me is more the burning throat afterwards.
I may use this thread as a goodbye thread, if I proceed as planned to the end. We shall see. Honestly, I feel confused : like I know that I must do it, because there is no other way, but still afraid that the fear of dying and the thought of the suffering of my loved ones will make back out once again.
Anyway, if you would like to add some comments or anything else, you're welcome :)
