Nostalgia and Apathy

[TheGoodGuy]

It´s no secret that I yearn to be a child again back when I was happy and life was perfect but because of my extreme apathy all these vague memories I have from my childhood and teenage years seem like they are almost from another person´s life or from other simulations/dimensions like there is one simulation/dimension where I was a child, another where I was a teenager and this one where I am an adult let me explain why I "feel" this way.

Because of extreme apathy I don´t feel happiness, sadness or even excitement and since nostalgia is basically a mix of happiness and sadness I can´t even feel nostalgia anymore and haven´t been able to for years so when I think of a happy memory like when I got my Gameboy Color and Pokemon Silver at Christmas eve, playing with my best friend, or climbing trees with my brother I should feel the nostalgic feelings of happiness and sadness but I simply can´t so because I have suffered from apathy among a lot of other problems and having no friends for 6 years all these memories from my youth seems almost too good to be true but I know they happened yet I can´t FEEL them it´s a curse!

Here is a picture to put it more into perspective so it almost feels like you can see there are infinite dimentions or simulations and in one of them I was a child, in another a teenager and now I am in another dimension or simulation at least that is almost how it feels because how can someone who lived such a good and healthy childhood and exciting teenage years with tons of friends end up like a person like I am now with no friends, horrible physical and mental health it just doesn´t make sense I just want out I can´t take it anymore and the fact that this universe or simulation don´t even allow me to visit happy memories with a nostalgic feeling to it seems extremely unfair like I haven´t suffered enough I just want out of this horrible existence I am not afraid of death but more if there will be pain but recently I have been thinking even if there would be pain from shooting myself it would only last a couple minutes and it is starting to feel like a fair exchange if I can just end this suffering although I think I have suffered enough so I deserve a quick painless death.

 

[dibbydoo]

Hey TheGoodGuy!

Remember, the mind is very selective, it tends to want to forget the 'bad' times & only remember the 'good.'

It's like a photo album, you tend to only save the memories worth keeping and delete the rest, but if you dig deeper I'm sure you will remember that the 'happier' times were not as 'rosey' as you think.

Nostalgia tends to be a liar, so don't fall for it. We all think things were better back 'then' and to some degree it's true, but you only learn & grow through hardship & growth is essential if you are to move forward with your life!

Apathy, I hear you, but apathy is a result of stagnation, if nothing changes in your life then you will become apathetic, so you need to start to change things! I know it's hard, painfully hard, but as the great Winston Churchill said...

"If You're in Hell, Keep Going!"

Start small, make a list & start making changes, you CAN DO IT!

Remember, nostalgia & a yearning for the past is your spirit telling you -"look I've had enough now, let's get moving again & bring some JOY back into this life!"

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Hey TheGoodGuy!

Remember, the mind is very selective, it tends to want to forget the 'bad' times & only remember the 'good.'

It's like a photo album, you tend to only save the memories worth keeping and delete the rest, but if you dig deeper I'm sure you will remember that the 'happier' times were not as 'rosey' as you think.

Nostalgia tends to be a liar, so don't fall for it. We all think things were better back 'then' and to some degree it's true, but you only learn & grow through hardship & growth is essential if you are to move forward with your life!

Apathy, I hear you, but apathy is a result of stagnation, if nothing changes in your life then you will become apathetic, so you need to start to change things! I know it's hard, painfully hard, but as the great Winston Churchill said...

"If You're in Hell, Keep Going!"

Start small, make a list & start making changes, you CAN DO IT!

Remember, nostalgia & a yearning for the past is your spirit telling you -"look I've had enough now, let's get moving again & bring some JOY back into this life!"

❤

Trust me my childhood was paradise I remember the butterflies in the stomach feeling and how much fun I had and adventures I had with friends and I know nostalgia can decieve but my childhood was literally that good I might even think I might have had the best childhood in the world but despite that I also know it wasn´t all sunshine and rainbows off the top of my head I could easily name 5 horrible experiences in my childhood one of them being probably the worst day of my life but this was really a small portion of the amazing life I had; when you put yourself out there into the world and experiences new things you are bound to have some bad experiences.

And for your suggestion it doesn´t work for me I got aspergers and social anxiety I can´t even do simple stuff like going to the movies, the mall or travel i.e. live life because I get too stressed and anxious I know normal people who are in a rot need to force themselves to do that stuff but it doesn´t work for me I have tried it before back when I had a car and driving in the cities with lots of cars and people would just stress me so much out and give me so much anxiety that it ruined the experience of going to the mall or movies. And also because of my throat problem I can´t do anything and have excluded myself and lost all my friends just because I was born with a defect body.

I often hear people on here complain about how they wish they could change something in the past because that is why they are suicidal and fucked their lives up well I didn´t it was pretermined that my physical problems got worse the older I got/get

But back to the topic I was hoping more people could resonate with me on this thread especially because I have wanted to make it for days but usually the threads I can´t get motivated to make get the least amount of attention. It just really feels as if my former self are just memories from another person because as I have mentioned before I see us as we become different people throughout life the person you were as a child, teenager and adult are 3 completely different people not only in terms with style of clothing but even our whole personality is different and it´s not just me it´s everyone and I guess it goes a little into this as well now with my apathy I feel that those people I used to be doesn´t exist in this world but in other dimentions or simulations but since they used to be me is why I have vague memories without nostalgia about them.

 

[dibbydoo]

Thanks for your heartfelt reply

The real 'you' is pure in spirit, and that's where you will find real power, but many of us have so much baggage and affliction that we suffocate it, fasting could really help you.

In regards to being happy as a child, yes we grow up and life becomes more 'complicated' - but what makes a child happy is 'the pure in spirit' - it's the simple things.

Fasting can strip away the 'world' and help you to see the world as a 'child' again.

All the problems we face in this life are a result of 'the flesh' - whether carnal or affliction, you need to feel the gifts of the spirit.

Message me if you would like to know more about fasting, it has immense power!

Finally, I know it's hard, I have so much compassion for you, I'm just trying to help if I can.

God Bless

 

[TheGoodGuy]

Thanks for your heartfelt reply❤

The real 'you' is pure in spirit, and that's where you will find real power, but many of us have so much baggage and affliction that we suffocate it, fasting could really help you.

In regards to being happy as a child, yes we grow up and life becomes more 'complicated' - but what makes a child happy is 'the pure in spirit' - it's the simple things.

Fasting can strip away the 'world' and help you to see the world as a 'child' again.

All the problems we face in this life are a result of 'the flesh' - whether carnal or affliction, you need to feel the gifts of the spirit.

Message me if you would like to know more about fasting, it has immense power!

Finally, I know it's hard, I have so much compassion for you, I'm just trying to help if I can.

God Bless ❤

I can´t fast I need to keep my throat in training because of my throat problem also it seems you are trying to go pro-life on me I could lay out the whole map why I have to ctb but there is a lot I usually just say I have a dozen problems because it´s easier one that also really will catch up to me is I have a calcium deffience because I am allergic to milk and can´t swallow or chew calcium pills because it messes with my throat so my nails are fucked up but my bones need the calcium too. I am also allergic to almost all foods I got tested for 30 and only 4 of them I wasn´t allergic to. Seriously life is not worth the effort too much work for no reward.

Not only are children pure in spirit but everything is so new to them that makes the world so exciting and because of their ignorance, naiveté and imagination life was so much fun.