Non successful exit

[Yuki_03]

Some of you might have seen my goodbye thread. I failed.

Spoiler: Method

When getting my neck in the noose, I failed because I tried first without socks, there wasn't enough pressure and my trachea felt very unpleasant due to the pressure of the rope. I made too much noise and my sister found out.

Somehow I managed to hide my rope. I will try during this week my third try... With socks. At least I found my swet spot, so it should be faster this time.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry u failed but it's also not a good idea to try any method when someone is close who could interfere the attempt.

 

[Yuki_03]

I made sure that everybody was asleep when I tried. But it seems that someone was still awake. I'm lucky that I won't be hospitalized.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I made sure that everybody was asleep when I tried. But it seems that someone was still awake. I'm lucky that I won't be hospitalized.

Just bc family members are asleep doesn't mean they can hear sth. It's really too risky to attempt when someone who could interfere is around.

I'm glad you weren't hospitalized or even admitted to a psych ward. It could be so much worse.

 

[rozeske]

Am sorry it didn't go as your plan. Please don't attempt at a place and time where someone can interrupt you mid hanging. You really really don't want that. Damage from failed hanging is no joke.

 

[thewalkingdread]

I'm sorry for all your suffering...

 

[Yuki_03]

Yeah, it was pretty rushed. Dumb that I thought that just closing the door would be enough. At least nobody in my family knows first aid, so CPR isn't a problem, as they probably wouldn't keep from surviving.
Though I'm thinking that they might get me out of the house, so I'm preparing to escape in the near future (with the rope obv)

 

[Rhizomorph1]

Yeah, it was pretty rushed. Dumb that I thought that just closing the door would be enough. At least nobody in my family knows first aid, so CPR isn't a problem, as they probably wouldn't keep from surviving.
Though I'm thinking that they might get me out of the house, so I'm preparing to escape in the near future (with the rope obv)

Your family doesn't need to know CPR to save you. All they need to do is remove you from suspension.

Non-vital brain regions can endure serious damage before vital areas die. It doesn't take long for brain damage to occur but it does take a long time for the brain to fully die/kill you.

This means that there is a significant window of time where others can save you but you will live with traumatic brain injuries. The severity of these injuries can range from minor cognitive, language, & personality impairments all the way to full loss of autonomy (what people call being a "vegetable" AKA disorders of consciousness) or even pain (e.g., difficulties breathing, nervous system dysregulation, musculoskeletal pain from motor impairments, etc)

I can't stress enough how important it is to avoid being discovered if you wish to avoid permanent injuries.

Properly deliberated and planned exits are always a good idea. Spontaneous ones are often poorly thought out with much higher rates of injury + there are greater odds of recovery/remission/regret among people who have not thoroughly deliberated and planned. Reach out if you'd like to chat about any of this

I support your decision, but I wonder what sort of deliberation and circumstances you face where you feel compelled to attempt suicide within your family's home. Notwithstanding the trauma they will face, it is an incredibly risky choice.

Wishing you peace in living or dying
-R

 

[Yuki_03]

Your family doesn't need to know CPR to save you. All they need to do is remove you from suspension.

Non-vital brain regions can endure serious damage before vital areas die. It doesn't take long for brain damage to occur but it does take a long time for the brain to fully die/kill you.

This means that there is a significant window of time where others can save you but you will live with traumatic brain injuries. The severity of these injuries can range from minor cognitive, language, & personality impairments all the way to full loss of autonomy (what people call being a "vegetable" AKA disorders of consciousness) or even pain (e.g., difficulties breathing, nervous system dysregulation, musculoskeletal pain from motor impairments, etc)

I can't stress enough how important it is to avoid being discovered if you wish to avoid permanent injuries.

Properly deliberated and planned exits are always a good idea. Spontaneous ones are often poorly thought out with much higher rates of injury + there are greater odds of recovery/remission/regret among people who have not thoroughly deliberated and planned. Reach out if you'd like to chat about any of this

I support your decision, but I wonder what sort of deliberation and circumstances you face where you feel compelled to attempt suicide within your family's home. Notwithstanding the trauma they will face, it is an incredibly risky choice.

Wishing you peace in living or dying
-R

Thanks R, I didin't know this many risks! Nect time I'll try in a more secluded space/darker in the night. I might try partial in a tree in the mountain near my house. I am sure that my family won't look for me in this case, as I usually take long walks ranging from 1-4 hours. I know the place pretty well, and there is a little forest where there is no people at that time in the night.

I didn't choose that place because it was public and all that. But I'drather not do it again at home. At least I have my benzos, socks, and rope, so I have still another try. Or I might try buying SN. Nobody knows.

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, best wishes.

 

[Yuki_03]

I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for, best wishes.

Thank you FuneralCry. You are one of the persons that inspire me more nd give me strength and bravery. I really appreaciate your presence in this forum.