Non binary issues?

[PressEnterToExit]

I've been for some years now looking for a friend with my same issue. I don't like the term ''non binary'' but it's the best way to describe non conformity with our sexuality. I'd like to meet another boy like me who isn't happy with his sexuality. Please don't waste your time writing me to tell me your prejudices thanks.

 

[Pluto]

You would find a huge number of people in this situation in proper LGBTQ+ forums, even though there tends to be a culture of toxic positivity that might censor or minimise the despair of individuals in the throes of gender dysphoria.

I've found that sexuality is hugely influenced by childhood trauma and as such can have patterns that are not desirable. I've ended up with all sorts of weird masochistic traits because of a childhood spent trying to pacify abusive sisters and schoolyard bullies. My attackers were always driven by getting some sort of thrill out of unjustified and unreasonable cruelty against someone vulnerable - an exact replica of my abusive father. Turns out that this is also a recipe for being treated horribly for no reason as an adult - truly the gift that keeps on giving.

It is possible that some of these could be improved upon with the right therapies, or perhaps a good partner would be able to help accommodate them in a safe, sex-positive way. Not something I've ever achieved myself. But I suspect that any success stories or proper support would be found within the said community.

 

[PressEnterToExit]

You would find a huge number of people in this situation in proper LGBTQ+ forums, even though there tends to be a culture of toxic positivity that might censor or minimise the despair of individuals in the throes of gender dysphoria.

I've found that sexuality is hugely influenced by childhood trauma and as such can have patterns that are not desirable. I've ended up with all sorts of weird masochistic traits because of a childhood spent trying to pacify abusive sisters and schoolyard bullies. My attackers were always driven by getting some sort of thrill out of unjustified and unreasonable cruelty against someone vulnerable - an exact replica of my abusive father. Turns out that this is also a recipe for being treated horribly for no reason as an adult - truly the gift that keeps on giving.

It is possible that some of these could be improved upon with the right therapies, or perhaps a good partner would be able to help accommodate them in a safe, sex-positive way. Not something I've ever achieved myself. But I suspect that any success stories or proper support would be found within the said community.

I prefer to talk to a suicide person. I also had the same problems you're talking about except for the abusive sister. But I don't think my problems are cause of that. To be masochist is different from being non binary. I'm happy with my body, it's not about that neither. Anyway thanks for your interest.
I think I don't fit neither in the LGTB collective by the way.. I don't share their actitude towards society.
I think LGTB+ collective is making a circus with all of this and I think they don't respect themselves neither but that's just an opinion.

 

[hamvil]

I prefer to talk to a suicide person. I also had the same problems you're talking about except for the abusive sister. But I don't think my problems are cause of that. To be masochist is different from being non binary. I'm happy with my body, it's not about that neither. Anyway thanks for your interest.
I think I don't fit neither in the LGTB collective by the way.. I don't share their actitude towards society.
I think LGTB+ collective is making a circus with all of this and I think they don't respect themselves neither but that's just an opinion.

Have you considered that maybe the reason you do not fit into the LGBT community is that you are not really non-binary and maybe you are just going through a phase in life with some confusion? I bet that you are around 25yo or younger.

 

[PressEnterToExit]

Have you considered that maybe the reason you do not fit into the LGBT community is that you are not really non-binary and maybe you are just going through a phase in life with some confusion? I bet that you are around 25yo or younger.

I'm a 28 years old guy with a good capacity of making retrospection, and been thinking about all of this for years. Maybe you are right I shouldn't use the term non binary or anything with LGTB+. In my personal opinion they are a wrong collective and I don't want anything with them.
In any case I don't think that not being non binary is a reason to don't fit in such collective......... I have many reasons to hate them but I won't give any more details. I think facts talk for themselves

 

[Alayna]

Hi,

I relate to what you're communicating, EnterToExit. 27yo mildly dysphoric here.

Yes, I've always been uneasy with my masculinity but never really found a sense of community comfort or sensible alternatives in LGBT spaces. The toxic positivity Pluto mentions is definitely part of it (though that's just one part). Anyway, I do think this is relevant to this forum if it's informing and enabling your suicidality...

Perhaps it's a phase, perhaps it isn't, but that doesn't stop the - discomfort? anguish? - from being real. It doesn't stop you from being here, needing to reach out to a community you feel more kinship to and have more in common with. It doesn't discredit your bravery for doing so.

I'm not in a space where I'm keen to make friends per se, so don't expect too much more from me, but I really just want you to know I hear you. And thank you for broaching a vulnerable topic.

 

[PressEnterToExit]

Hi,

I relate to what you're communicating, EnterToExit. 27yo mildly dysphoric here.

Yes, I've always been uneasy with my masculinity but never really found a sense of community comfort or sensible alternatives in LGBT spaces. The toxic positivity Pluto mentions is definitely part of it (though that's just one part). Anyway, I do think this is relevant to this forum if it's informing and enabling your suicidality...

Perhaps it's a phase, perhaps it isn't, but that doesn't stop the - discomfort? anguish? - from being real. It doesn't stop you from being here, needing to reach out to a community you feel more kinship to and have more in common with. It doesn't discredit your bravery for doing so.

I'm not in a space where I'm keen to make friends per se, so don't expect too much more from me, but I really just want you to know I hear you. And thank you for broaching a vulnerable topic.

I think for me it's not a phase. I act like a very masculine guy, but I know deep down how I really am. I like my body and to be a guy, what I don't like is the position I get in the world if I am my real being. I think world is programmed to left out people like us. I don't want to get into details, the truth is I shouldn't do post about sexuality because for me is like for some people talking about politics. I never tell my true ideas about all of this because most people think I would be crazy. But I truly believe that gays are not meant to have relationships bt them. I know very well that half population at least are bisexual, I think gay guys are more meant to have relationships with bisexual guys. That's something very important. All gays are acting and trying exhaustively to be something they are not to have relationships with people that at the end, are not really passionate. I think all of this has a lot to do with non binary issues. But the truth is I don't wanna discuss this topic because I don't wanna hurt gay people.
My theory is all gays are non binary in some way lol. I really hate non binary term I just can't

 

[Alayna]

Ai, I guess we disagree deeply on our outlook towards homosexuality. To me, limiting the scope of what constitutes "real" passion to prescribed genders kinda just reinforces the rigid roles that we're talking about suffering under (in addition to, yeah, hurting gay people - and being patently false imo ). Bc I do agree that it's this compulsively binaried gendering we're exposed to all time that leads to our whole mess. So non-binary (or even anti- ) is a fine term by me

As Pluto suggested, it might be good to explore around for an LGBT community to work some of this specific stuff out (with their disclaimer in mind). Ik you're cautious (and may have had bad experiences) but with the right people it can truly be rewarding. Your suicidality might honestly be eased somewhat by targeting some of this gendered stuff specifically. It's tough work though, can be scary, and I'm sorry I can't recommend anywhere in particular, but I'd say just try keep an open mind about it? If you're willing and able to allow your preconceptions to be challenged, you might be surprised at what you find out...!

Sorry if this isn't the answer you're looking for, but I honestly think that this issue might best be approached elsewhere for a bit?

 

[PressEnterToExit]

Ai, I guess we disagree deeply on our outlook towards homosexuality. To me, limiting the scope of what constitutes "real" passion to prescribed genders kinda just reinforces the rigid roles that we're talking about suffering under (in addition to, yeah, hurting gay people - and being patently false imo ). Bc I do agree that it's this compulsively binaried gendering we're exposed to all time that leads to our whole mess. So non-binary (or even anti- ) is a fine term by me

As Pluto suggested, it might be good to explore around for an LGBT community to work some of this specific stuff out (with their disclaimer in mind). Ik you're cautious (and may have had bad experiences) but with the right people it can truly be rewarding. Your suicidality might honestly be eased somewhat by targeting some of this gendered stuff specifically. It's tough work though, can be scary, and I'm sorry I can't recommend anywhere in particular, but I'd say just try keep an open mind about it? If you're willing and able to allow your preconceptions to be challenged, you might be surprised at what you find out...!

Sorry if this isn't the answer you're looking for, but I honestly think that this issue might best be approached elsewhere for a bit?

Well I'm not really looking for help but thanks. As I said I wish to find someone in my similar conditions to talk with...

 

[akirat9]

My theory is all gays are non binary in some way lol. I really hate non binary term I just can't

Assumption to the maximum.
No it is not a theory, I attest I am not. As well many other

 

[lyles]

I don't like the term ''non binary'' but it's the best way to describe non conformity with our sexuality. I'd like to meet another boy like me who isn't happy with his sexuality.

For clarification, by sexuality you mean gender identity? Or does the way you view your gender depend upon your sexual/romantic relationship? Obviously there is no wrong answer there, just wanted to be certain!

 

[Max_Power]

i recently came out and started identifying as non binary even tho i am very guyish. i haven't talked about it much to anyone, so i don't know what life will be like going forward. i just know i feel like i'm me finally.

 

[RubySimon]

Im non binary, not a man or woman and a huge part of why I am sucidal is the way society treats people like me as less then dirt. We are patholgised as something "wrong", evil to be corrected or killed. In my country trying to acess transgender healthcare is impossible with years of waiting just for ine intinal appointment let alone appointments for the actual care.

Even in this forum Transgender folks face bigotry. I hate it, I hate how theres no escape from the torment by others and my dysphoria.

 

[PressEnterToExit]

The term you are looking for is "gender non-conforming" (often abbreviated as "GNC

i recently came out and started identifying as non binary even tho i am very guyish. i haven't talked about it much to anyone, so i don't know what life will be like going forward. i just know i feel like i'm me finally.

That's interesting, I'd like talking to you.

Assumption to the maximum.
No it is not a theory, I attest I am not. As well many other

They all try to look masculine when they're not. They don't really get sexually attracted between them. But attraction BT bisexual men and gays is strong and passionate. What's the conclusion of all of this? I think in the future people will look at gay society and society in general like neardenthals. I have done my own research and depend on the person people believe what they want or what they can given their experience in the world. I know what I'm saying don't get me dizzy with terms,it looks like the only problem in LQTB group is people with dysphoria. Which is something in my opinion isn't even natural.you are not born with dysphoria or in the wrong body, people and movies make you believe so. And to be non-binary is not only about the body,and of course it's a out relationships and sex too. Bye

Assumption to the maximum.
No it is not a theory, I attest I am not. As well many other

They all try to look masculine when they're not. They don't really get sexually attracted between them. But attraction BT bisexual men and gays is strong and passionate. What's the conclusion of all of this? I think in the future people will look at gay society and society in general like neardenthals. I have done my own research and depend on the person people believe what they want or what they can given their experience in the world. I know what I'm saying don't get me dizzy with terms,it looks like the only problem in LQTB group is people with dysphoria. Which is something in my opinion isn't even natural.you are not born with dysphoria or in the wrong body, people and movies make you believe so. And to be non-binary is not only about the body,and of course it's about relationships and sex too. Bye
I just can't with LGTB collective they are the first ones who lie to themselves sorry.

 

[Max_Power]

That's interesting, I'd like talking to you.

I'm rarely online or even use any electronics these days. I've been isolated for a long time tho and just dwell on a lot of negativity and past abuse.

 

[akirat9]

That's interesting, I'd like talking to you.

They all try to look masculine when they're not. They don't really get sexually attracted between them. But attraction BT bisexual men and gays is strong and passionate. What's the conclusion of all of this? I think in the future people will look at gay society and society in general like neardenthals. I have done my own research and depend on the person people believe what they want or what they can given their experience in the world. I know what I'm saying don't get me dizzy with terms,it looks like the only problem in LQTB group is people with dysphoria. Which is something in my opinion isn't even natural.you are not born with dysphoria or in the wrong body, people and movies make you believe so. And to be non-binary is not only about the body,and of course it's a out relationships and sex too. Bye

They all try to look masculine when they're not. They don't really get sexually attracted between them. But attraction BT bisexual men and gays is strong and passionate. What's the conclusion of all of this? I think in the future people will look at gay society and society in general like neardenthals. I have done my own research and depend on the person people believe what they want or what they can given their experience in the world. I know what I'm saying don't get me dizzy with terms,it looks like the only problem in LQTB group is people with dysphoria. Which is something in my opinion isn't even natural.you are not born with dysphoria or in the wrong body, people and movies make you believe so. And to be non-binary is not only about the body,and of course it's about relationships and sex too. Bye
I just can't with LGTB collective they are the first ones who lie to themselves sorry.

Like some random stranger on this forum knows anything about me what I am, how I feel and what I like.
Rhetorical answer is not a single thing. I know for as factual I am not lying to myself who I am attracted to and it is certainly not anything you have said.
日本を離れ、ここに来て、少なくとも私は最終的にゲイである自分を受け入れることができるようになりました。他の誰かにそうではないと言われるのは嫌です。見ず知らずの誰かの嘘を信じるのは愚かなことです。

 

[PressEnterToExit]

I'd like to talk to a gay guy with my same beliefs thanks. Sorry if someone got offended I'm becoming a bad bitch lately.
Look guys, I don't know you experience I only know mine and I think it's enough for me. We all have to respect each other world views...... For me gays are not meant to have relationships bt them, but it's the culture we have what make us the way we are. It affects to gay and straight people too. I know by my own experience, that half male population is bi, so let's see one thing. If gay guys have so many problems about acting masculine, and liking bt them, that's maybe because we are meant to be with bi men instead meeting gay guys? That's just my theory. The same way I think to be transexual is something cultural too. I think trans people feel dysphoria cause they were taught that the only way to be treated like they really are is having another body. And that's understandable. But at the end the truth can be only one, despite culture and old ways of thinking. Maybe I am wrong, maybe not.. we all deserve to express our opinion.
There are lots of info in the era we're living in. You can go to pre history written by authentic historians and may you find new ideas bout all of this.

 

[Un-]

Like some random stranger on this forum knows anything about me what I am, how I feel and what I like.
Rhetorical answer is not a single thing. I know for as factual I am not lying to myself who I am attracted to and it is certainly not anything you have said.
日本を離れ、ここに来て、少なくとも私は最終的にゲイである自分を受け入れることができるようになりました。他の誰かにそうではないと言われるのは嫌です。見ず知らずの誰かの嘘を信じるのは愚かなことです。

Yeah, I'm with you @akirat9 . I'm bisexual, and.. I have no clue what @PressEnterToExit is saying. I'm attracted to men. Feminine, masculine, bisexual or gay - I'm still attracted.

And.. I mean I'm a guy, and I've grown up around a lot men. I only know one other person that's bisexual or gay, and he's in the closet. That's one in approximately 50 men. Most men are not gay.

 

[Harasaki]

I'd like to talk to a gay guy with my same beliefs thanks. Sorry if someone got offended I'm becoming a bad bitch lately.
Look guys, I don't know you experience I only know mine and I think it's enough for me. We all have to respect each other world views...... For me gays are not meant to have relationships bt them, but it's the culture we have what make us the way we are. It affects to gay and straight people too. I know by my own experience, that half male population is bi, so let's see one thing. If gay guys have so many problems about acting masculine, and liking bt them, that's maybe because we are meant to be with bi men instead meeting gay guys? That's just my theory. The same way I think to be transexual is something cultural too. I think trans people feel dysphoria cause they were taught that the only way to be treated like they really are is having another body. And that's understandable. But at the end the truth can be only one, despite culture and old ways of thinking. Maybe I am wrong, maybe not.. we all deserve to express our opinion.
There are lots of info in the era we're living in. You can go to pre history written by authentic historians and may you find new ideas bout all of this.

I never understood what people mean by being non binary? What doeas that even mean? Why and how would someone not be a man or a woman? But again, it's not my problem.
But this theory here is not based on reality, most people are straight, that's a fact, in the end of the day we are mammals homossexuality is the exception, not the rule, our biological purpose is to reproduce, homossexuals can't do that. Of course if someone happens to be homossexual that is totally fine, and I don't think people can help who they fall for, you could fall for a gay guy that's really masculine as well as a very feminine bissexual...
Also I'm not sure about trans people, in fact no one knows what causes homossexuality or gender dysphoria but I think that someone wouldn't go under so many surgeries just because they wanted to be treated a certain way, being that they could be treated that way without surgeries

 

[PressEnterToExit]

I never understood what people mean by being non binary? What doeas that even mean? Why and how would someone not be a man or a woman? But again, it's not my problem.
But this theory here is not based on reality, most people are straight, that's a fact, in the end of the day we are mammals and homossexuality is the exception, not the rule, our biological purpose is to reproduce, homossexuals can't do that. Of course if someone happens to be homossexual that is totally fine, and I don't think people can help who they fall for, you could fall for a gay guy that's really masculine as well as a very feminine bissexual...
Also I'm not sure about trans people, in fact no one knows what causes homossexuality or gender dysphoria but I think that someone wouldn't go under so many surgeries just because they wanted to be treated a certain way, being that they could be treated that way without surgeries

In the world nothing is what it seems to be. You're not gay or trans so you opinion is too far from any real possibility sorry.

 

[Harasaki]

In the world nothing is what it seems to be. You're not gay or trans so you opinion is too far from any real possibility sorry.

Bro but you don't even know if I'm gay or trans, right?
"In the world nothing what it seems to be" not a very strong statement, I don't know about that, my dog seems to be a dog, I'm pretty sure it is, homossexuality is extremely rare in all mammals, and it seems to be the exception in humans too, simply analyse the data, sorry but I think that is more reliable than your opinion

 

[PressEnterToExit]

Bro but you don't even know if I'm gay or trans, right?
"In the world nothing what it seems to be" not a very strong statement, I don't know about that, my dog seems to be a dog, I'm pretty sure it is, homossexuality is extremely rare in all mammals, and it seems to be the exception in humans too, simply analyse the data, sorry but I think that is more reliable than your opinion
I'm not wasting my time with someone who believes in appearances of the world. I respect your opinion.

Bro but you don't even know if I'm gay or trans, right?
"In the world nothing what it seems to be" not a very strong statement, I don't know about that, my dog seems to be a dog, I'm pretty sure it is, homossexuality is extremely rare in all mammals, and it seems to be the exception in humans too, simply analyse the data, sorry but I think that is more reliable than your opinion

I don't give a fuck about the data the data is fake everything is fake. Go read history books from historians of nowdays maybe your concept of the world changes. I don't feel like discussing something I already know well. I have lots of data thanks, also fucked with lots of men.

 

[Harasaki]

Believing the "appearances of the world" or the conclusion of observable data seems more reasonable than spitting conjectures with no basis on reality, but yeah one is free to believe anything, sure. That should be respected.

 

[akirat9]

I am not a data. I am not data to be analyzed. I am human being. I personally do not care about labels. I know who I am. I am gay, but it is not overt, it is not obvious, it is reality.
In Japan I repressed it all my life, now I don't have to.
ファイナルキズメットーそれは強制されたものではなく、次の人と同じように現実に即しているものです。ガイアの世界にはレッテルというものがなく、拒絶はあっても強制はない。言葉で説明するのはちょっと複雑なので、説明するより見てもらったほうがいいと思います。

 

[novem]

I'm a 28 years old guy with a good capacity of making retrospection, and been thinking about all of this for years. Maybe you are right I shouldn't use the term non binary or anything with LGTB+. In my personal opinion they are a wrong collective and I don't want anything with them.
In any case I don't think that not being non binary is a reason to don't fit in such collective......... I have many reasons to hate them but I won't give any more details. I think facts talk for themselves

When did non-binary term begin? I haven't heard about it 12years ago, I even read a book on sexual deviations and did not see this term... Anyway there might be reasons to Ctb but liking same sex is usually not the cause of it, at least not for me.

I never understood what people mean by being non binary? What doeas that even mean? Why and how would someone not be a man or a woman? But again, it's not my problem.
But this theory here is not based on reality, most people are straight, that's a fact, in the end of the day we are mammals homossexuality is the exception, not the rule, our biological purpose is to reproduce, homossexuals can't do that. Of course if someone happens to be homossexual that is totally fine, and I don't think people can help who they fall for, you could fall for a gay guy that's really masculine as well as a very feminine bissexual...
Also I'm not sure about trans people, in fact no one knows what causes homossexuality or gender dysphoria but I think that someone wouldn't go under so many surgeries just because they wanted to be treated a certain way, being that they could be treated that way without surgeries

I think all these new strips on the rainbow flags are just dividing the society and some organisations are doing it on purpose: divide and rule - teens are already confused what they are and seek to be guided. 12 years ago I knew who I am attracted to and had fun, now I am outsider because so many other gays are more peculiar than I. Gays and lesbians used to hang out with each other but not any more.

 

[PressEnterToExit]

When did non-binary term begin? I haven't heard about it 12years ago, I even read a book on sexual deviations and did not see this term... Anyway there might be reasons to Ctb but liking same sex is usually not the cause of it, at least not for me.

I think all these new strips on the rainbow flags are just dividing the society and some organisations are doing it on purpose: divide and rule - teens are already confused what they are and seek to be guided. 12 years ago I knew who I am attracted to and had fun, now I am outsider because so many other gays are more peculiar than I. Gays and lesbians used to hang out with each other but not any more.

That's because homosexuality is showing his true face. But it's showing it in ridicolous ways that's the problem. Gays are meant to have romantic sexual relationship with bisexual men. It's not necessary to be so smart to see it.. they get attracted bt them, in the meantime, gays who have sex romantic relationships but them are not really satisfied and have to act the whole time to look masculine when they are really not.
The problem is that culture of this society is built in such ways that the fact that half people is bisexual is occult. The same way there are so many straight man and girls who actually are trans deep down but they just get along with it acting their role.
When Colón came to America he found out most men were feminine and there were lots of masculine women as well. No matter if they were lesbians or straight.
All of this was occulted and people don't really know the truth about history and their own beings, because we don't belong to ourselves,we belong to the system that created us.
I'd appreciate if people take time to study the things I am talking about before making any opinion thanks.
Because this not only affects LGTB community but the whole world, there is lots of hate in the world because most people is acting and they are not who they really are. That's the greatest lie of the history.
And I'm sure that eventually, will appear a guy here with my same problems my same thoughts, and this will help him. Because I wish I had someone like me to explain me such things nobody want to understand.
I recommend a book about this topic called ''Witchcraft and Gay Counterculture'' .
I also recommend modern history books, written by historians of nowdays.
The red pill is one though to swallow ... It's up to you guys.

 

[Dizzylady80]

When did non-binary term begin? I haven't heard about it 12years ago, I even read a book on sexual deviations and did not see this term...

The term originated in the 80s but the concept has been documented in different cultures since ~1500BC

 

[PressEnterToExit]

I am not a data. I am not data to be analyzed. I am human being. I personally do not care about labels. I know who I am. I am gay, but it is not overt, it is not obvious, it is reality.
In Japan I repressed it all my life, now I don't have to.
ファイナルキズメットーそれは強制されたものではなく、次の人と同じように現実に即しているものです。ガイアの世界にはレッテルというものがなく、拒絶はあっても強制はない。言葉で説明するのはちょっと複雑なので、説明するより見てもらったほうがいいと思います。

Good for you you can think whatever you want, if you don't have retrospection capacity you will likely never know who you are like most humans beings on Earth
You are the one who talked first about data by the way...

 

[novem]

Most of the world doesn't care about one person's sexiality but to give birth and dominate with propaganda, power and money.
As for gays attracted to bisexuals it is a fair observation.
I believe that majority of gay men (know little about lesbians) become gay around 12-13years old and the fault is their fathers are violent and not nice ppl. So those fathers won't take the blame a d become more violent when they see their kids feminine signs.
So this attraction to bisexual guys is just cultural - gay guys see them as a role model which their fathers should have played.
Sadly to the gay crowd, bisexual guys are eventually going to have heterosexual families and own kids. It is becoming more rare that gay guys are taught proper manners by society thanks to openly gay ppl being very loud. It results in that it becomes harder to find your ideal gay love in terms of behaviour that bisexual guys demonstrate.
This is my opinion.

 

[PressEnterToExit]

Most of the world doesn't care about one person's sexiality but to give birth and dominate with propaganda, power and money.
As for gays attracted to bisexuals it is a fair observation.
I believe that majority of gay men (know little about lesbians) become gay around 12-13years old and the fault is their fathers are violent and not nice ppl. So those fathers won't take the blame a d become more violent when they see their kids feminine signs.
So this attraction to bisexual guys is just cultural - gay guys see them as a role model which their fathers should have played.
Sadly to the gay crowd, bisexual guys are eventually going to have heterosexual families and own kids. It is becoming more rare that gay guys are taught proper manners by society thanks to openly gay ppl being very loud. It results in that it becomes harder to find your ideal gay love in terms of behaviour that bisexual guys demonstrate.
This is my opinion.

Where do you come from man? From Victorian age or what? God.. people is fucking crazy. So your theory about homosexuality is that gays had violent parents? Please stay away from my post thanks illuminated person
You should read a book or something in order to be able to talk about a topic