Venting nobody will miss me

[slitwristsbleedcold]

I'm so glad of that, my family probably resents me at this point, they tried to help me, it just doesn't work, years and years after me.

and I don't have friends or lovers, apart a guy of course but even then he'll get over it, I guess, it's better this way?

but why does it feel like so painful still? i hate myself for this. I'm so selfish, it disgust me

 

[NutOrat]

I don't think the guilt will ever go away. Especially when so many people around you think suicide is the "easy way out", and is cowardly or selfish. They're delusional in their views on life, gaslit by themselves and society that we're somehow morally obligated for being born, when it really should be the other way around. If you feel that guilt, I'm sure you're not as selfish as you think.

 

[slitwristsbleedcold]

I don't think the guilt will ever go away. Especially when so many people around you think suicide is the "easy way out", and is cowardly or selfish. They're delusional in their views on life, gaslit by themselves and society that we're somehow morally obligated for being born, when it really should be the other way around. If you feel that guilt, I'm sure you're not as selfish as you think.

the guilt will forever eat me alive, but thank you

 

[58Alice85]

I'm so glad of that, my family probably resents me at this point, they tried to help me, it just doesn't work, years and years after me.

and I don't have friends or lovers, apart a guy of course but even then he'll get over it, I guess, it's better this way?

but why does it feel like so painful still? i hate myself for this. I'm so selfish, it disgust me

It's not selfish to wish to feel desired or loved. It is this wretched society which tries to make everything as miserable as possible.
I have this bitter feeling this life could have been so good, people just chose otherwise